THE UNOFFICIALFOOTBALLERSFAN ARCHIVE↗RSS timestamps belong to our exact archived audio capture. The publisher’s current playback may have different ads and timing. Machine transcripts can contain errors.
With Andy explicitly sick, Mike and Jason begin as the two healthy hosts until someone points out the omitted introduction. Jay Griz is then called the Cardboard Bear Extraordinaire, a co-host who is always reliable, always filling in, never sick, and never absent from the studio.
The hosts say Jay still reports to work without the lower half of his body and cannot have bowel problems because he has no bowels, extending the claim that he has never taken a sick day.
The hosts identify buying the UDK as the easiest chance-based route into the Listener League, then claim an office study found 99 of 100 Ultimate FootClan members gorgeous; Papa Josh is the sole no vote because the Falcon belongs to the group.
A host tries to clarify George Pickens for new listeners, but the show insists he is simply George and explains that the inside joke exists because professional fantasy analyst Jason Moore cannot remember Pickens's last name.
With preferred researcher and League of Record co-champion Kyle absent, the hosts turn to Matt, ask whether he even knows how to research, say he cannot spell the word, reject a ChatGPT claim of 71 targets, and then accept Matt's Brandon Marshall answer as plausible.
Jeremy follows the target search by supplying the historical rank and Chris Chambers total, then later confirms that 'squelch' was used correctly by providing its definition.
Mike and Jason record without Andy, explicitly explaining that Andy is sick and mocking his weak body while presenting themselves as two healthy best friends. Minutes later, someone points out that they forgot an introduction: Jay Griz, the Cardboard Bear Extraordinaire, is called a co-host, always reliable, and always filling in. The hosts say Jay has never had a sick day, never leaves the studio, still reports to work without the lower half of his body, and cannot have bowel problems because cardboard Jay has no bowels. This is unusually direct support for Jay's combination of reliability and neglect. The episode also names an alternate Listener League route: buying the UDK enters listeners in a giveaway, followed by an office beauty survey in which Papa Josh is the lone dissenter because the Falcon is an Ultimate FootClan member. A separate show-meta exchange explains the 'George' inside joke: George Pickens is simply George because professional analyst Jason cannot remember his last name, and new listeners are expected to learn inside jokes over time. Later, with League of Record co-champion Kyle absent, Matt becomes the substitute crack researcher; the hosts say he cannot spell research and reject an absurd ChatGPT answer before Matt finds the plausible record. Jeremy then supplies the refined target ranking and later defines 'squelch,' giving two small examples of Deucer's Alley fact support.
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