THE UNOFFICIALFOOTBALLERSFAN ARCHIVE↗RSS timestamps belong to our exact archived audio capture. The publisher’s current playback may have different ads and timing. Machine transcripts can contain errors.
After the hosts recall that Jason's Quatch, Big Shimmy, and Double Stuff nicknames vanish after a day or two, Jason chooses Mike's decade-old Fantasy Hitman identity 'completely forever.' Mike grants a share with copyright conditions, and together they become the Fantasy Hit Men when in the same room. Jason later admits the identity will last only this show, inspiring an annual shirt with his face surrounded by every discarded nickname.
A prerecorded Patrick Mahomes voice identifies himself as the Kansas City Chiefs quarterback and tells listeners they are hearing the Fantasy Footballers before the regular host introduction begins.
The show's roster-grading tool tells users which host likes a team most; whenever Mike, Jason, or Andy runs his own roster, his own rankings supply the most favorable verdict, which the group calls unbiased facts.
The hosts describe the Dynasty podcast as Borg and Betz plus a rotating main-show host, then explicitly credit Brooks with having a produced 'Stack Attack' cue for the day's quick question. Kyle is later queried about draft capital, and Brooks is directly addressed while the hosts preview Saturday mock-draft mayhem; the unlabeled replies are not assigned.
Matt DeSorbo is credited as a great writer and Math Wizard for a stacking study, but Andy jokes that he taught DeSorbo everything and that the article contains Andy's words. When asked whether DeSorbo receiving credit is rude, Andy calls the real Harvard-educated person his pseudonym. The hosts then affirm DeSorbo's talent and welcome his brother plus five new writers into the team and the newly formed Hitmen family.
A listener handle, Cabbage Farts, reveals one host's enthusiasm for cooked cabbage. That host is offered Big Cabbage and Cabbage Patch Kid; the immediate reminder that he is the temporary Fantasy Hitman and needs a new name makes Jason the likely target, though the unlabeled transcript does not prove it.
Two unnamed participants settle on 700 Adam Thielen receiving yards for a water bet. The reluctant bettor admits the wager exists mainly to create optimism for a dynasty outcome, leading the hosts to call those self-defeating bets 'A-Robs' and turn the name into the verb 'A-Rob yourself.' Allen Robinson's own dynasty value then enters dirty-diaper range; his unidentified owner considers a vindictive, screen-recorded waiver drop, and Robinson's route disappearance is explained with invisibility clothes.
An unnamed host is accused of using candles, incantations, and prayers for Dalvin Cook to land in New York, while another says he blocked the possibility so completely that it is muted and absent from his real-life timeline.
The hosts praise J.K. Dobbins for dominating with one strong leg, nickname that diminished version JK1 Leg, and predict that JK2 Legs will be electric and unstoppable now that he has two functioning, repeatedly emphasized strong legs.
A recorded Patrick Mahomes introduction leads into Mike being announced as the Fantasy Hitman, but Jason immediately objects to his own generic treatment. The hosts recap Jason's short-lived Quatch, Big Shimmy, and Double Stuff names; Jason selects The Fantasy Hitman 'completely forever,' shares it with Mike, and creates the room-dependent duo The Fantasy Hit Men. Everyone knows the promise will last only one show, so they propose an annual Jason shirt with his face surrounded by every discarded nickname. A listener named Cabbage Farts later exposes one host's love of cooked cabbage; continuity with the just-established Hitman exchange makes Jason the likely target of Big Cabbage and Cabbage Patch Kid, but the unlabeled turns prevent certainty. Brooks supplies a 'Stack Attack' drop, while the Dynasty podcast is described as Borg and Betz plus one rotating main-show host. Matt DeSorbo's stacking study becomes a mock credit dispute in which Andy claims he taught the Math Wizard everything, calls the real Harvard-educated writer his pseudonym, then welcomes DeSorbo's brother and five new writers into the family. The hosts also admit their Draft Analyzer always says each of them likes his own team best. A 700-yard Adam Thielen water bet leads to the verb 'A-Rob yourself' for wagers made only to feel optimistic; Allen Robinson's dynasty value is placed in dirty-diaper range, his owner considers a vindictive recorded waiver drop, and his routes are explained by invisibility clothes. Elsewhere an unnamed host literally mutes the possibility of Dalvin Cook joining New York despite the alleged candles and incantations, and J.K. Dobbins evolves from JK1 Leg to unstoppable JK2 Legs with two strong legs.
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