Deucer's Alley reports a full house
The opening calls Deucer's Alley a full house, says everybody is there at that moment, and explicitly locates Papa Josh, the Falcon, and Al Borland behind the three named hosts.
THE UNOFFICIALFOOTBALLERSFAN ARCHIVE↗Transcript links use the exact YouTube video’s clock. Machine transcripts can contain errors.
The opening calls Deucer's Alley a full house, says everybody is there at that moment, and explicitly locates Papa Josh, the Falcon, and Al Borland behind the three named hosts.
The hosts say snow on the ground in Vermont predicts Derrick Henry's success no matter where he plays. Kyle researches the forecast, is jokingly sent out as boots on the ground, and reports no snow; the desk proposes an automated siren and permanent back-wall display while explicitly calling the correlation both a bit and weirdly true.
A story about Rizzi clogging the private head-coach toilet on his first day prompts the hosts to say every Falcon office clog has produced a bad day. They turn the new bathroom into a throne-christening ceremony and explain that private executive plumbing avoids playing battle poops with the team.
The weekly Parlay Partay begins with repeated demands for the wig and a recap of the prior result. Jason is explicitly one of the two hosts fitted for royal crowns, Andy is congratulated during the successful reception recap, and the James Cook failure represents the losing side.
While explaining a Bijan Robinson checkdown, an unlabeled host tries to evolve the language into 'over the bottom.' The others object that it is simply checking down, Kyle quickly reminds them of 'throwing underneath,' and the originator refuses the correction and predicts quarterbacks will throw over the bottom all game.
The opening calls Deucer's Alley a full house and says everybody is there at that moment, specifically locating Papa Josh, the Falcon, and Al Borland behind the hosts. A tight-end recommendation briefly invokes the show's confidence underpants. During the Baltimore-Pittsburgh forecast, the hosts consult their jokingly scientific Derrick Henry model: snow on the ground in Vermont should predict Henry's success no matter where he plays. Kyle researches the forecast, is jokingly sent out as boots on the ground, and reports no snow while the hosts admit the bit is weirdly true and long overdue for a permanent back-wall display. A Saints coaching story then expands Deucer's Alley bathroom canon. The coach clogged his private locker-room toilet on day one; the hosts say every Falcon office clog has produced a bad day, then imagine christening the throne and avoiding team-wide battle poops. Parlay Partay calls for the wig and recalls the prior week's royal crowns: Jason is explicitly one of the crown pair, Andy is congratulated during the winning recap, and James Cook's failed result supplies the losing side. Finally, a host tries to rename a running-back checkdown 'over the bottom.' The others reject it, Kyle promptly supplies the standard phrase 'throwing underneath,' and the originator keeps forcing the new wording anyway.
I mean, you do need. It's pretty fun on this side too, man. You need peripherals. You can't have no quarterback, no offense, no line. The peripheral is last man standing. Yeah, that's fine. That's the play. That's fine. And I do think on the line side of the ball, you can play everyone. There exists a path where all of a sudden the touchdowns come early on the running game. I really do believe. And, you know, obviously the NFL is. drunk sometimes and things are shockingly unexpected. But I do think that the lions, everyone gets a piece. You worry in matchups like this when there's a point spread like this week where it's going to be all running and there's going to be no passing touch. I think everyone, I, you know, I'd play all of my lines. I think they score 40 points and everyone gets a little piece. Well, Leporta, you need to keep an eye on because he missed practice on Wednesday. So Leporta's shoulder could take him off of the list for you.
It's why you need to look at these other pivot tight ends. And then Jameson Williams is still going to be a big player reliant. But yeah, I mean, when you have a 30 point implied point total at home. Yeah, get in on it. Yeah. So Minnesota is seven and two. They take on the two and seven Tennessee Titans. Minnesota. A pound drum game. Yes. Draft King's sports book line, Minnesota on the road minus six. Over under is 39 and a half. That gives Tennessee a lower implied point total than Jacksonville has on the road against Detroit. Both defenses on paper are, you know, Minnesota is obviously great. Tennessee's been okay. Will Lovis is going to just, he's going to look real, real bad again. If I had a button, if I had a button, this would be my button.
This would be my almost upset. Is this because you haven't liked what you've seen from Minnesota's offense over the last? The last couple weeks. A couple weeks. Sam Donald's starting to pumpkin. Yeah, the clock is. Five interceptions in the last two weeks. And this is a good defense. The reason Tennessee is losing games is not because of their defense. Their defense is pretty good. It's kept them in games. And then Will Levis has found a way to gift the other offense, the ball in. great field position. And so I think it'll be a little bit more of a struggle. Are you talking about zero touchdown Will Levis last week? Yeah. Or zero, sorry, zero interception. Will Levis. Oh, whoa. Yeah. No, Minnesota's defense is very difficult to run on. But, you know, over the course of the season, you have been able to pass on them. Wide receivers are fine against them. So that's why I like Calvin Ridley in this matchup. And I think that if this defense at home could turn Sam Donald over a few times.
Yeah, I guess I kind of get it. I mean, I still think Minnesota ends up winning the game. It's an almost upset. You do like Calvin Ridley. His reception lines four and a half is your start of the week. And Pollard, you know, Mike was kind of on top of it last week and just saying that since Spears has been gone, you've seen that workload, 74, 89, 82, 86 percent of the snaps. It went down to 54%. maybe they had the ability to give him more of a rest because he's been dealing with injury. Pollard in this matchup, it's tough sledding. Yeah, this is one where if you've got another option, you might not have a better option than Pollard, but if you do, I would look that way. You know, the opportunities, once Spears came back, you had Pollard getting 20 carries, 28 carries, and then this last week, nine carries with Spears back, a tough Minnesota run, D.
It's not, you know, you're down, almost a touchdown here as far as the DK line. So I think he is someone you've got to take a hard look at and not just bank on what he did a month ago. One player that's been really disappointing this year, ranked at wide receiver 63. He has. Averaging just three for 39 since the buy. And now you have the addition of T.J. Hawkinson. I'm talking about Jordan Addison. Like he is. He was a flashy name. He performed last year. But I think at this point, you need to move on and find better options off of the waiver wire because it's going to be Jefferson, Hawkinson, Jones. They're all much higher in the pecking order. Even Naylor's been involved in games that Addison hasn't been involved. Are you fully moving on from Madison? Yeah, I mean, I would, there's a lot of names out there. I would rather play Ricky Pearsall.
I'd rather play Quentin Johnston. Jacobi Myers. Jacobi Myers for sure. Jerry Judy, Jalen Wadden. Fool of that was hard. Jalen Waddle. Senator Tillman. There's a handful of names that I would much rather have than Jordan Addison. I'd actually, in this game, I'd probably rather play Westbrook Aquinae on the other side. Who's actually scored in four of five weeks. Like he's been looked to on the goal line. He's out there almost 100% of the time. I would. I think he is a boring but somewhat productive option for fantasy players in a game where you can't run and you are going to have to throw the football all game long. Any other thoughts on this game, Mike? No. Other than Will Levis already having nightmares about the blitzing of Minnesota. Oh, there's no nightmares, man. You don't. Just man. You're not scared of what you can't see? Yeah, I was going to say he does not see him in his dreams either, man.
I promise. He has never seen a pass rush in his life. He just also, he's like, I'm on the, I'm on the ground again. Do you see that Kyler comment about, almost have fallen over? What was that? You see Kyler, Kyler's hit last week from Quincy Williams where the helmet went flying? Oh, yeah, yeah, that was a murderous hit. So Kyler's like, he, he said he didn't even know what happened. He just was on the ground. And then he said he liked it. Nice. He said it got his adrenaline going and he hadn't been hit in a while. And then he played really well after that. He played really well. But that was a complete blindside. And unlike Will Levis, Will Levis is blindsided from straight in front of him. Yes. But this was an actual blind side where the guy was coming from behind. He had no idea that someone was there because he doesn't actually have eyes on the back of his head. Will Levis does have eyes on the front of his head. He still can't see people right in front. The report is true.
It was part of his scouting report. Has eyes in the front of his head? No, doesn't have eyes in the front of his head. I'm trying to teach the man that, yes, you do. He keeps his eyes downfield too far. He's laser focused on his wide receivers. His eyes are always 30 yards downfield and has no... Like, I don't know the amount of boca on his eye lenses, but he can't see. Is he have a peripheral vision issue? He has to, man. He has to. He's always zooming. Yeah. It's like zoom. Dude, there's no macro. Yeah. He's got to, he's got to take a wider. Photography jokes. A wider lens replacement. Nice boca joke, bro. Baltimore, seven and three, Pittsburgh, seven and two, DK Sportsbook line, Baltimore minus three. The overrunners 48. It's in Pittsburgh.
I want to know right at the top before the analysis for fantasy. Who do you think wins the ballgame? Baltimore. I think they're going. I think they are too much for the Steelers. I don't. I mean, is Baltimore minus three? I guess I'm overdue. All right. All right. It's been a minute. If you can find that drop. Oh, here it is. Andy's almost upset of the week. This is just, this is the kind of game Baltimore loses. On the road, really difficult divisional game with the crowd and the pressure and teams that know each other and teams that know what Lamar knows how to do. I don't know. I think it's going to be fun. I'm excited about this game. I know we mock Russ, but he's better for this offense. He's better for Pickens. He's better for Williams. He's better for Najee. They're scoring 30 points a game since he became a starter.
And the Ravens, you know, this is not a Ray Lewis shut you down defense. Oh, no. This is a, we're going to, like I think they can stop the run a little bit, but they'll not, Pittsburgh's not going to stop handing it to Naji. I don't know. I think Pittsburgh has what it takes to kind of put the pressure on Baltimore. And Baltimore's had, they've had a couple close wins this year. And then they've had a few losses that are like. They just fall apart in the second half. Yeah, they've just been kind of outmatched. And I just wonder if the pressure's on if Lamar tries to do too much and can't get it done. Well, you've had Pittsburgh here scoring points with Russ. So, you know, they've got three starts, three wins, 37 points, 26 points, 28 points scored by the Steelers. So that's exciting. And I think they can score on the Ravens. The question on the other side, to me, is about Derek Henry. Because the passing.
defense for the Steelers has been very, very good. In four career starts, Lamar Jackson has not scored 20 fantasy points against Pittsburgh. So to kind of speak to your almost upset, they know what to do against him a little bit. Yeah, there's a, there's a clear path here for the Baltimore Ravens to come out and be disappointing against Pittsburgh. That's why I think this comes down to Derek Henry. Can this Steelers run defense that really is just middle of the pack? The last six weeks. Exactly. Recently. They have not been good. They're 27th over the last six weeks against fantasy running backs. So that's where, I mean, I got to check Vermont's weather, but if there's snow on the ground in Vermont, I think Derek Henry is the reason that Baltimore wins this game. Well, the, the DK rushing yard line on Derek Henry's a very healthy 86 and a half. Yeah, that's. So they're expecting Derek Henry. They're expecting snow on the ground in Vermont. Okay. I do have Kyle researching the weather report in Vermont.
Did you send him out there? Do we have a... I believe he just went. We need boots on the ground. We're a company of automation, guys. How is this? How do we not have like a siren go off in our office? Honestly, you know, and this is way too late to do this. But we should have been having Vermont weather on the back wall for a long time. Yeah, at least during all Derek Henry games. And if you're new to the fantasy footballers and you're not sure, there has been absurd correlation between snow on the ground in Vermont. and Derek Henry's success, no matter where he's playing. It's going. Which has never been in Vermont. Kyle says it doesn't look like snow. Also, this is a bit. This is a bit. But it's also weirdly true. If Derek Henry has a poor game. He's also had some really great games without snow. Well, yeah. I mean, he's Derek. He's Derek Henry. Whatever.
Come on. Lamar Jackson, you play, Henry, you play. Zay Flowers, are you back at it? Yes. Zay Flowers is an every week start. You just got to take the lumps. Isaiah likely was back at practice. Mark Andrews has a 17% target share over the last five weeks. Steelers, middle of the pack against tight ends. Seems like it would be really difficult for you to have a pivot if you've been playing Mark Andrews. I agree with that, and I am, I'm excited to see what actually happens here. Now that, like, the. He was forced into a full-time role last week against Cincinnati, talking about Mark Andrews because likely was out. But everything was ramping up for him. So I want to see now that likely is back, does that ramp continue? Because that will be just a huge shot of confidence here to close the season. Yeah, I will say that, you know, I've talked up T.J. Hawkinson a lot. I have Hawkinson and Andrews in a league, and I am playing Andrews. I'm going to stay in. Are you really? Yeah, I'm going to stay in the flames because I think, I think.
It's kind of like what we talked about last week with Andrews versus Gassicki, where it's about the touchdown. I think that there's a higher likelihood of Andrews getting a touchdown than Hawkinson. If he doesn't, if neither guy gets a touchdown, Hawkinson probably has more targets, receptions, maybe yards. The last five weeks of Mark Andrews tied in 4, 3, 10, 30 against Denver. But if you remember the context of what happened, that was the Zayflowers week where. where Flowers had two drive-ending touchdown receptions, and then the team scored 41 points against Denver, and they pulled everybody out. It was a blowout, and Mark Andrews played half the snaps. And then back to tight-in two the following week. So we're just, you know, I don't think it's a guarantee for Andrews, but we're on a really, really good trajectory right now. Let me ask you this before we move on. Final question in the game, Andy. I picked Baltimore to win. You weren't sure almost upset, but the line set at 48.
Do you think this is more offensive or defensive? I see it right middle of the road. Maybe leaning offensive, honestly. So, you know, 48 points is a lot. Yeah. So I don't, I don't, I'm not necessarily taking me over there, but I think that's right. I find my, I think 48 points is about right. I find myself agreeing with you. That's part of what I like about Andrews is I could, I can see the path for this game going very large. Jason, would you play Jalen Warren or Travis ETN? I think you've done it. You've found a way to get me to say Jalen Warren. Okay, good. That's where I was trying to get to. We'll take a break. We'll come back with some more matchups. The Las Vegas Raiders, two and seven, take on the three and six Miami Dolphins in Miami. Miami seven point home favorites. DK has it at 44, the over under. The Raiders have, they've made an about face. We had announced yesterday because the report, the report, it came out from official sources that.
Desmond Ritter was going to be the starter. And then Vic DeFour came out and said they got cold feet and it's actually going to be Minchu. Yeah, I mean, you should. Yeah. You don't have good options at quarterback, but Ritter shouldn't be any of the options. We went to practice and we put Ritter out there and then we were like, what are we doing? Look at this. Until Sunday, guys. It's the ultimate ruse. Ooh, I like it. Yeah, I just. I'm sure they'll have packages for both. This is good for Brock Bowers. It's good for Jacoby Myers, who's reception lines five and a half.
It's good for any hope of the Raiders scoring points. Now, the Miami Dolphins defense looked really good against the Rams. They're at home. They've got their guys back. I feel like Miami should be able to beat up on a bad team here. That's what we should be able to get. I completely agree. We had talked about putting a pause on our belief of the Miami defense because the Miami defense, they're number one. schedule adjusted on the course of the year against quarterbacks. Their top 10 against water receivers and tight ends. Their passing defense has been really, really good, but we weren't sure how much of that was Tua being gone. When you watched that island game against the Rams last week, their defense was outstanding. They were pressuring, they were pressuring the Rams so much all game. You've got Ramsey in the backfield.
And Calais Campbell seems young again at 38 years old. So I think their defense is legit. It's going to be very difficult sledding here for the Raiders. Does that make two a spot start for you or no? Because he hasn't hit 20 fantasy points in 14 straight starts. He's not. Can we just give Tyreek a shot? The wild thing here. And Waddle and Waddle. Chuck it. Stop going to John. Stop going to John Smith. Stop it. Stop it. It's gross. It's disgusting. It's not efficient. It's okay. It's not, it's fine. It's not Johnu's fault. No, John, you're doing a great job. But I want to see you doing cardio. I want to see you out there drawing defenders and not getting that ball because I want the ball and waddle in Tyreeks hands. I really like A. Chan in this game. I really am hopeful that, look, this is a scary, terrifying Tyreco game for me because his receiving line is at 67.5.
He is dealing with the wrist injury if he's not productive in this game. And I'm not talking eight, eight, nine points. If he doesn't score 15 points in this game, I'm worried that the injury is going to linger through the remainder of the season. The Raiders, if their defense can do one thing, it's slow down wide receivers. Last six weeks, wide receivers are second in adjusted schedule against them right now. Look, Tyreek. never has cared about those numbers before. I know. But that DK line is like, okay, they're. That's a lot of yards. The sharps are taking this serious. Yeah. I'm saying like, that's not a lot for Tyreek, though. Is that, well, I mean, it would be after last week.
Yeah, I guess you're right. I guess you're right. I mean, like normally when you look at last year and what he average per game. He's like, he'll lines like 80 something. You're like, yeah, that makes sense for Tyree killed. That it's all the way down to 67. He averaged 112 yards a game last year. So that, you know what? That's a good point. The target share is just, I mean, it's not John who's fault, but they're, they are featuring the tight end position way, way more than they ever have. I was thinking about Tyree Kill. after the last game and realizing that right now Tyree Kill has been, I mean, abysmal. He's played in every single game. He's the wide receiver 32. He's not even a wide receiver 2. In the games with Tua, he's been just as bad. Nothing has gone right for him. I've seen so many trades where, you know, should I move Tyreek for this, you know, wide receiver who's been performing? And.
You've got to take a, I mean, we don't know the future. There's risk injury concerns. There's schematic concerns. There's risk risk. However, I am going to bet on Tyreek Hill. And so that's my official stance. Like I would personally be willing to even go trade for him because right now I've seen some trades where it's not costing you much. If you've got a, if you've got a guy that's been scoring. You know, people are wanting to get out of Tyree Kill. And I'm not guaranteeing that that's going to be the right move. But at the end of the year, I don't think we're going to look back and say Tyree Kill lost it and is, you know, a seventh round pick next year because this entire season he just socked. I think he'll get it together. He's still, like you watch him on the field. He's still lightning fast. I, I, I just. But there's other fast players. I mean, like Tyree Hill's success is not just because he's fast. Yeah, I'm.
I mean, I just want it on the record that, you know, it was kind of like when Mark Andrews was sucking. Sure. And people were dropping him. And it's just like, hold on. It's a good player. It looks good on the field. I believe in the talent. I don't think he's lost it. So that's where I am officially with Tyree. Is Rahimosa dead as a flex option? For now. Yeah. I mean, if you're getting three opportunities last week, you can't start someone that's not touching the ball. Well, the Rams lost last week to the Dolphins. They are four and five. They go to New England to take on the three and seven Patriots. The DK.Sports book line, Rams minus four and a half on the road. The overrunners, 43 and a half. You know, the Rams games have hit the under four or five games. Their defense, it was a defensive battle against Miami. Matthew Stafford has Cooper Cup, Pooka, both those guys are in your lineup, right? I mean, is it as simple as Stafford, Kairn, Cooper, and Puka?
Yeah, it definitely is. And then on the other side, Ramandre gets tipped over into the end zone a couple times a week lately. It's not been efficient. He did jump up to 3.7 last week. His rushing and receiving yards line from D.K. is 77 and a half. Holy not going to happen. You don't like that. No, I do not like that. I like that number to say that he will not get there. Well, when's the last time he's got? Last week was 77. Yeah, he hits 74 rushing yards against the Bears. Yeah, and three receiving yards. I'll be right, Beck. It's one of those things where the team has so, the team has so, he's, he's, I'm just going to go make sure that line is accurate and maybe do something about it. This team has so few options in the passing game.
and in the offensive side that they're just committed to handing the ball to him a ton. And so that's led to inefficiency. They don't have, you know, players to, to, you know, take away eight in the box against Ramandri Stevenson. I don't think he has looked particularly bad or good or anything. I just think it's, you know, Boutet is getting the most playing time at wide receiver right now. Like if there was a player I'm picking up to start, I would play him in the same breath of Demario Douglas. I mean, I. He's getting 99% of snaps. He had six targets. You got three weeks in a row with that, Andy. This is a Mark of the B situation. Six, six, six, six targets each of the last three weeks. So, yeah, I mean, you're the mark of the boutet. You are the mark of the boot. You're correct that he is involved. He's also getting some shots downfield. It hasn't turned into much, though. Like that's kind of the issue is you don't expect a lot of touchdowns here. Like with Westbrook-a-Kine.
He's getting in the end zone. And I just don't know how often the Patriots are going to. I think the Rams coming off a loss. A DFS play, a punt play. I'm with the idea. Yes, the production's not hitting. But if the other stuff are they're saying that at least it could happen. If you want a DFS punt play in this game. Davis Allen is $2,500. Well, he never had the job. I mean, he only had the job last year during an injury, but this is a guy who I liked for Dynasty, if you listen to the off season before they brought in Parkinson. This was a player who looked like he was going to take a year-two leap into a starting role, and then you look at a snap percentages on the year. 8% of snaps, 0% of snaps.
4% of snaps. It's just completely uninvolved. And then this last week, 80% of snaps. Colby Parkinson was not on the injury report. This was a, hey, we're just going to, we're going to move. We're going to put. And what happened? Six targets, five receptions. Oh, yeah, I was going to say they lost. Oh, sure. No, they did, they did lose. I got to get the Colby Jack out there. I don't think I'm playing Davis Allen in any kind of redraft league, but if you are looking for a super cheap punt play. And I am. You can't get $2,500. $2,500. Oh, all right. Well, I guess, I guess we know who Mike's going to put. I know. That's usually the pump plays a tight end are 3K. Yeah. So New York City. Cleveland, 2 and 7, New Orleans, 3 and 7.
Games in New Orleans, Drive King Sportsbook line, Cleveland minus one, over under 44 and a half. Give me your gut reaction. Who wins this game? Cleveland. I have Cleveland winning this game as well. I think the one game post-coaching change hype is over. Well, look, he instilled more of a Falcon-esque strategy. I don't know if he knew this. But before last game, he detailed how his day, his first day coaching the team started with him clogging the toilet in the head coach's locker room. He told people this? Yeah. That's what a real man does, Mike. He said he thought it was going to be a bad day. And I'll tell you here, every time Falcon clogged the toilet, we had a bad day. We don't got good day. Yeah. That's true. I love that. Rizzy is the clogging the drains, huh?
I mean, that's how you christen a bathroom, man. This is your first time in the head coach's locker room toilet and it's like, this is my throne now. Bro, take this. You can't. I guess I've never thought about this. The head coach has his own commode. This is the first time I've ever heard of the head coach's locker room in my life. Yeah, that sounds like there's a whole locker room, but he only needs to use one locker. Well, I mean, it's like, you know, fancy businesses. The CEO has a private bathroom. The head coach. Yeah. You got to drop a dump of Rooski. You don't want to be in there playing battle poops with the team. But you don't usually have a locker room for one. It's also difficult. It would be amazing. It just depends with one locker. That'd be great. Or there's 10 lockers, but they're all yours. You know what I mean? This is Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Look, you don't. The problem with having your own bathroom is that there's no doubt who's the clogger.
You could have blamed somebody. But he's not a blame guy. No, he took full accountability. I like the risk. I think this game is pretty heads up to me. I can see it going both directions. James Winston so schizophrenic on the field. You know, you've had a pretty bad Saints defense, but there have been a game or two where they've looked okay. Let's get to the fantasy players that matter here. The number one start sick guy out there coming off the buy. had been really good as the wide receiver 14, 3, and 16. Cedric Tillman, he's the number one name. Tillman or Joanne Jennings, Tillman or Devante Smith, Tillman or Calvin Ridley. I like Tillman, but is not over any of those names to me. Yeah, I agree. Tillman, you know.
12 targets, nine targets, 11 targets. Yeah, no, he's been involved. He's looked good, 81, 99 and 75 yards. But the total fantasy production has really been propped up by three touchdowns in the last three games. So whether you expect that to continue or not, I would think. Which one was the real stinky trash touchdown? That must have been week nine where it was like, I mean, the catch was awesome. But it was like the game was over and the clock was running out and it was just. Oh, sweet. Yeah, I believe that was their last game. So we like Camara. Nick Chubb, we brought him up. This is a week that you can kind of start him with some confidence. Yeah. Because of New Orleans, uh, leaky run defense. His, his, did you say his line? His rush yard lines at 58.5. Okay. That's all right. That's fine. We'll take that. Uh, MVS was the show last week. But I mean, like, can you start anybody beyond Camara?