Mike's Jack in the Box Thanksgiving
Mike's ideal Thanksgiving replaces the long family drive and traditional meal with football, video games, and an Ultimate Cheeseburger; the awards later formalize it as the Mike Wright special.
THE UNOFFICIALFOOTBALLERSFAN ARCHIVE↗Transcript links use the exact YouTube video’s clock. Machine transcripts can contain errors.
Mike's ideal Thanksgiving replaces the long family drive and traditional meal with football, video games, and an Ultimate Cheeseburger; the awards later formalize it as the Mike Wright special.
Mike's Hungry for More turn demands Ken Bone Walker touches near the goal line and insists it is the Bone Zone, not the Charbon Zone.
A turkey-gobble cue launches the yearly awards, which map fantasy players onto Thanksgiving dishes such as the centerpiece meat, mashed potatoes, burnt rolls, Jack in the Box, and pumpkin pie.
A host asks for a medium level of the show's protective-underpants metaphor before recommending a slate of players he would rarely trust.
After more than an hour and forty minutes, the hosts break out smelling salts to ride the lightning, and Papa Josh joins from Deucers Alley.
Jason's odd turkey-preparation word from the opening is selected more than two hours later as #spatchcock for the signed-memorabilia giveaway.
The Megalodon revives Jason Moore's ornate ironclad, locked-and-loaded, guaranteed Boom Boom Kicker of the Week introduction and rhyming pick delivery.
After losing Fantasy Faceoff, Jason spins Monkey Business and needs repeated instructions to force his head through the confusing monkey costume.
The hosts open with Thanksgiving plans: Jason is preparing his first turkey by removing its backbone, while Mike skips the family drive for football, video games, and Jack in the Box. The annual Turkey Day Awards return with a gobble cue and categories built from holiday dishes. Mike asks Seattle for more Ken Bone Walker touches in the Bone Zone, the show uses its underpants metaphor to grade risky starts, and Parlay Partay assigns crowns and clown hats. Deep into the extra-long episode, the hosts and Papa Josh use smelling salts to stay awake. The accidental word of the day becomes #spatchcock for the signed-memorabilia giveaway, the Boom Boom kicker monologue returns, and Jason loses Fantasy Faceoff before wrestling his head into a monkey costume. The remaining runtime is a complete Week 13 forecast across the Thanksgiving, Friday, Sunday, and Monday games.
I mean, Naji is still the, I believe he is the only one that I would want to start. It's not like he's not getting massive amounts of work, even this last week where Jalen Warren got the touchdown. He had 16 carries, 18 the week before, 21 the week before. He is, he's a good, hearty player. And in a matchup like this, divisional opponent, I would be happy to start Naji. I mention the Muth if you're desperate. If you need an off the waiver wire start, the matchups at least good there, but have the underpants firmly fastened. This is a do or die game for the Bengals. You know what I mean? Like they have to win this ball game to give themselves a shot at 10 and 7. Fantasy community. Y'all are rooting for it. Yeah, we need to form some sort of aura force here. Yes. I'm sorry. The striped alliance. I'm sorry, Pittsburgh. You're 8.3. You'll be fine.
Yeah. We need Cincinnati to win and keep them happy and their offense going. Yes. I mean, if they go to four and eight and they're basically out of it. Oh, my gosh. The fear of these fantasy assets being shut down too early. I mean, well, you got to, he'll shut himself out. Oh, my, my quad is hurting now. If they can get by Pittsburgh, right? So listen to this. This is where your excitement can rise. Then get by Pittsburgh. You get to play Dallas. You get to play Tennessee. You get to play Cleveland. Then you get to play at home in Week 17 against Denver, winnable. Yeah. I mean, they could go on a run. You could go on the playoff run without their offense and their team has been. They have to win this one. And this one's tough. Yeah, but they are favorite. Arizona, six and five, going to Minnesota to take on the Vikings nine and two. I was curious about this line. The D.K. Sportsbook line has Minnesota as three and a half point favorites.
The overrunner is 45. Minnesota has won four in a row. They have not all been pretty, but they have won them. And their opponents are throwing the football 66.4% of the time. That is because their rushing defense has been so, so good. And so for the Connor, James Connor experience this week, it's a tough matchup. for a player that has a great rest of season schedule against the run. But you need him to catch the football in this game is the way I'm looking at it. Yeah, this is, I can't imagine benching James Connor. You might have a way to do it based on what you saw last week and how bad this matchup is. For the most part, I think people are going to have them in their lineup and probably have more of a down game. Yeah.
The Cardinals strike me as a team that looks at last week's tape and go, how did we give James Connor seven attempts? How did we do that? And we scored six points. And in a game, they should have easily won. You hold a divisional opponent to 16 points and you don't win. I'm backing on Connor. But whether they can or not, I mean, this is Connor having one of his worst games was Detroit, where he was nine for 17, didn't catch the football. That's your. worst case scenario at least, but they can give it a go. And he has had some performances in games this year where you kind of thought he would get shut down on the ground and had more success. I mean, I still think he is in consideration for other options. Like, do you have any names? Yeah. So let's talk Rico Dattle, Kareem Hunt, Tyrone Tracy, those three names. I mean, obviously James Connor's been amazing on the course of the season, but we have to be realistic with
you know, what the matchups are. But it was Rico, Kareem, and who was, and Tracy? Yeah. I'd play Connor over all of them. Connor has, here's where you should be encouraged. His last two games, he's at five targets and five catches in each of them. But I do think you're going to need that to get into top 24. I think you're going to need the passing game work. Sure. Or a touchdown. So I do feel nervous. I have him, I feel nervous playing it. Aaron Jones on the other side, the Cardinals defense right now over the last six weeks. Fantasy points allowed, the least given up to quarterbacks, fifth against wide outs, fourth against tight ends. They have been just plain good. Yeah, I don't understand it because their personnel is not, it doesn't match top five type of shutdown defense. But I do think we're lagged on that. I think Garrett Williams is an outstanding cornerback. I think Buda Baker is the, you know, top three safety. Yeah, one of the best players in the NFL and now they're getting.
hopefully Darius Robinson back soon. They have been good on defense. So, you know, could they win this game? Yeah, they could go on the road and win this game. The Vikings, your starts hit decisions, are you chasing Addison? He feels him and Waddle last week went wild. How do you feel about Addison with relation to the Waddle performance? Because Addison's been not good. I would prefer Waddle. Yeah, I would prefer Waddle as well. Addison has not been good until this one week. And now everything you just said about the defense and. what they've been doing over the last six weeks. It's not a good matchup either. So I'm not chasing Jordan Addison at all. I would be much more comfortable with T.J. Hawkinson in the passing game as that number two option to Justin Jefferson. And obviously you start Justin Jefferson. Kyle Murray, Sam Darnold, if you were choosing between these two players this week. Wow. Are you taking the home guy in Darnold?
Yes. Or the fact that they're passing the ball, opponents of Minnesota are passing it like crazy. Yeah, I'm going to take Kyler in that one. Everything we're talking about the defense, the Minnesota Vikings rush defense is so, so good. But their passing defense is more exploitable. So I think Kyler will have to air it out a little bit. And this, I feel like this could end up being a lower scoring game. McBride, of course. Hawkinson, of course. Marvin. Mike is giving you the pat on the butt. But we've needed to put them in your lineup. Play them over Addison, play them over Jaden Reed. Yes. All right. The Colts are five and seven. They take on the three and nine New England Patriots. The Drive King Sportsbook line here, Indianapolis minus two and a half. The overrunner is 42 and a half. Two basically rookie quarterbacks, right, that have gotten limited starts. Richardson is dead last and catchable throws and checkdown rate. Like if you want to.
You know, tell me he's better than the box score last week. I agree with you. I don't have any problem admitting that. But when you're sitting dead last and catchable throws on the year, I went back. You got some room to grow. After we, after we talked about his performance on Monday, I went back and watched every throw. And he still just has so many wildly. I mean. Yeah, I mean, it's this. It's uncatchable. It's just like the play is dead before it starts because he throws the ball to an area without players. I mean, it's just you can't run an offense that way. Yeah. And, you know, it's not like the play is called back on penalties or counting his incompletions in his stat line. Correct. They are opportunity. Like he could have easily, his line last week should have been a fairly bad completion percentage with a touchdown.
maybe with a couple big plays. The yardage and the touchdown probably make him an okay fantasy option. They would have. And this week, he's in play. Like Anthony Richardson is a playable, startable, streamable quarterback this week. He could definitely have a big game. Jason kind of put his hat in the Jonathan Taylor side of things. The matchup's pretty good. The game script couldn't end up that way. But this is, this should tell you something. Indianapolis is just a two and a half point favorite. on the road against New England. New England can move the football. The defense for the Colts, I think it goes a lot deeper than Anthony Richardson for the Colts struggles this year sitting at 5 and 7. It goes to the defensive side of the ball, to Taylor not being consistent, to injuries and underwhelming performances by the wide receiver room, to the offensive line play. Let everybody hear me say out loud that that could be better for Richardson. Those numbers are going to go up with a better offensive line. So.
All the way around, this game is a close game projected by Vegas, not the blood that maybe we would expect. Yeah, the biggest question mark, I think, is Ramandre Stevenson. Yes, it is. It's really hard to decide what to do with a player who's right now, the running back 22 on the course of the year, has plenty of games that are very relevant, multi-touchdown games, a ton of reception games. And then he has games like last week, where he got the ball, you know, He touched the ball eight times in that game, two targets that he didn't catch. I think he's okay this game. I think he's going to be okay this game. I think he's top 24 at this game. So here's my biggest worry is we saw Antonio Gibson out snap him last week, which Antonio Gibson had been basically not even on the field. And you had him go from the previous month's snap percentages, 81%, 74, 70, 76, down to 42%.
So I don't know if maybe he hurt something in the game. I mean, there was, there was. I think it's the, the fragility of Ramandre is because it's like he can stand up to a lot of work. Like if you give him, he's a guy, you can give 20 carries. Not everyone in the running back position can do that and make it through the game. But when you are so inefficient, you're, and on a bad team, you're, you are. always on the precipice of the coach saying, all right, let's see what the other running back can do. Last week, if you watched that game, that game was gone. That game was lost. It was over. The game plan couldn't be there. The snap counts were 43 to 42, but the game was lost. So it makes sense that, you know, he got six carries. Gibson had six carries in the game. Remander had eight. This was not a game that were going to run the football beyond getting blown out in the beginning. I'm throwing it out against. I'm not going to.
I'm not going to throw it all away what we've gotten from Vermont. When he gets a positive home matchup against Indianapolis, a team you can run on, I think they're going to go right back to him. That is just my opinion. I think he's going to be a top 24 guy this year. And there have been weeks. This week. Yeah. And this year. But he has been a player where some people have been caught with him on their bench when he scores two touchdowns. in recent weeks, and I don't think that that's where you want to be. I'm not going to make Nichols, which, by the way, we just got news that Brian Robinson is practicing. Well, it was he, oh, yeah, it was Brian Robinson will practice. Which you got to look at, now they brought Chris Rodriguez up still. Yeah, but you got to look at it like when you get that ankle sprain, you either miss nothing or you miss three. Jason brings it up all the time. I'm playing Ramandre Stevenson unless I have an overtly.
much more impressive option. Like I'm not going to play Pacheco in his first game back. I'm not going to play Swift. Yeah, that's fine. I'm okay going Doudal over him in a plus matchup. That's fine. Yeah. Nodgy. I would play Noggi. Probably play Noggi, yeah. Yeah. I have Rommandre right now just outside of my top. But I'm not playing, I'm probably not playing Warren over Ramandre. No. That's where I would draw the line. Pittman's my start of the week. Jonathan Taylor's Jason's start of the week. Can you go beyond Pittman in the passing game for Indianapolis? With confidence, of course not, but just with the way that this matchup looks on paper to me, and Alec Pierce 50-yard bomb would not. I know you can say that every single week, but I'm saying it like literally, I'm pretty much expecting a huge play from Pierce at some point. Yes, and you're saying Pierce over like Adonai if you were taking a shot in this game.
Yeah, Pierce always gets his chances, and you would expect Christian Gonzalez to be more focused on Pittman. The Seahawks are six and five taken on the three and eight New York Jets. The drafting sports book line here, Seattle minus two, the overrunners, 41 and a half. That's not a lot. So we know that Rogers will be back out there. For now. For now. And we know that Gino Smith loves to throw the football, but, you know, Jets defense is top half. against wide receivers. So Metcalf's been a little bit disappointing. I think the prescription's just been keep throwing them out there. Yeah, I think so. Obviously, you've got Soss Gardner there, but you've brought this up a lot recently, Andy. The Jets defense has not been very good recently. Correct. You know, they've, they started the year great, and I think there was hope.
But I feel like the vibes there, I mean, your coaches are fired, your GMs are fired. Everything is bad there. These are human beings that I just don't, I don't think the defense is playing as hard as they absolutely can, you know, because this is a team in the middle of a collapse. Well, they are coming off the by week. They might not have Breesaw. We are waiting to hear more and more. Jason's not thrilled with that. You have it. Where would you slot? I mean, it's, of course, top of head, but Braylon Allen. Breece Hall is out. Braylon Allen jumps to be a top 20, top 15, top 10. Where does he go for you? Not top 10. Okay. Probably back in 19 to 25. I probably have them above that. I mean, I think right now, Breece is like the running back 12 in our rankings. Right around there, yeah? Somewhere around there running back 15. It's like an Aaron Jones, David Montgomery, would you be?
Going like, ah, I'm going to put Braylin in. No. Okay. No. Maybe it's part of me having seen the Seahawks defense look very good last week shutting down James Connor. You know, maybe they figured some things out on the defensive side. Seattle's offense for all the enjoyment of the passing volume, let's not make a mistake here. Just because you throw it a bunch doesn't mean you score a bunch. We've seen this. They lost with 10 points against Buffalo. They lost with 20 against the Rams. They won with 20 against San Francisco. They won with 16. And seven of the six of the 16 was on the defensive side. So they only scored 10 points at home last week. You can throw it a lot, but still not get into the end zone. That's, you know, I don't have overly high expectations of them going on the road and putting up a ton of points in this with the over underwear it's at. But JSN, Metcalf. Yeah. Ken Bone Walker. Yep. Those guys are just in your lineup. And Seattle, seriously, stop it. With the sharp bones on. Yeah. Look, we all.
We all loved Zach Charbonnet coming out of college. I get it. We loved him. Yeah. Second round pick. You loved him too. Stop it. Yeah. We've grown up. We've moved on. You need to. He was banged up. Garrett Wilson, Devonte Adams. I need him to play more. You like Devante over Garrett Wilson this week? Devante has... I play Garrett. Why is that? I think Garrett Wilson's the better player. And is Devante, but Garrett Wilson or Devante Adams? Yeah. Yeah, I was just asking because Garrett's been outside the top 40 for two straight weeks. Adams with a week of a by week to get more acclimated. He had a couple good games before. They're both involved. They're both going to get, you know, seven plus targets. So it's really, I don't mind taking the Garrett Wilson side if you believe he's the better player. I do think that Adams will, you know.
I think the targets are going to go on his side. Yeah, I agree. I think he'll out target Garrett Wilson in this matchup. I see both of them as like a low-end wide receiver two. All right, a reminder here as we're in the middle of the matchups. We will have a hashtag we'll be sharing. And if you tweet at us on X, at the FF ballers and use the hashtag, you'll be entered to win one of our fun Megalodon episode giveaways. Jason, we've got to sign Jefferson jersey. We got a signed H&JN. Oh, I want that one. Jersey. Do you want to sign Breece Hall helmet? No. No, I don't. I want to take it. I want to drop kick it out of this studio. I'm very mad at Breece. I'm so invested into him. This is a real tough thing. You're going through it. I am. I'm going through it. I'm also tired. Hey, we got them smelling salts? Oh. This is a ride the lightning. I need to ride the lightning. Give me a smelling salt. Don't leave me out. Don't leave me out.
Oh, man. Oh, yeah. Your hatred of Breece Hall, who was the running back, oh, wait, I got one too, is the running back 11. Dude, he's got like two awful games. What do you do? Are we seriously going to smell these salts? Well, you don't have to. I did. I'm just going to, it's going to. I went hard. We're just going to put that thing down right there. Yeah, brother. Look at these watery eyes. Just take one of mine, man. Not, man. I'm good. I went hard. Is this the same pack we had from the original Megalodon episode? It is. My brain is bleeding. You went so hard. How do those guys all the time? Well, when you're concussed, you can kind of take it a little bit more. Okay. Are the deucers going to give it a rip over there? Oh, it looks like. Oh, Josh went. Josh went. Yes. Don't poop yourself. Go for it.
Oh, Josh is. I can see sound waves right now. I can hear colors. I'm flying. I'm flying, boys. Oh, man. It's always a good time. All right. We're awake. And you need to be awake. It was all left nostril. It's just like, just. Every time. Okay. That's why they, what is that, ammonia? Is that the? Yeah. Why did I pronounce it? Ammonia. So perfectly. It's a 15% ammonia. And 35% alcohol. Aluminium. All right. Thank you. Thank you, Jeremy. All right. Well, let's press on. You awake now, Jay? I am super awake. Is your brain brain bleed stopped? Nope. You're going to need it because it's the Titans commanders commanders. Yeah, the Titans are three and eight, the commander seven and five, although the Titans, big upset last week knocking off the Texans. The Draft King Sportsbook line here, Washington, minus five and a half. The over under is 45.
kind of, you know, a weird week last week for both of them. Washington losing to Dallas, Tennessee, upsetting Houston in Houston. Both of the passing defenses have been pretty stingy this year. Jayden Daniels, Will Levis taking on one another. Jayden Daniels, where are you with him at this juncture? Because I think a lot of people, maybe it's posh to say, but they're, you know, flipping over to Bo Nex is a much better rookie quarterback. I don't know. I'm not going that far. It's. I mean, this guy's still, Jaden Daniels still 68% completion on the year. Yeah, still a very good quarterback. It had, where the hope is, is that 7 for 74 on the ground. I mean, since the, you go back a few weeks, he got, you know, at the beginning of year, he's running wild. He's absolute fantasy stud. Harts the ribs. And then it really slowed down after that. So the 7 for 74 is the,
That's the hope that the ribs are back to the place that we will get a healthy Jane Daniels out there. Yeah, I agree. I'm happy to hear you speaking because there was a pause there that I thought maybe you were still seeing the future. We can all have an aneurism from time to time. I think that Jane Daniels, if he's mobile, if he's rushing, he's going to be great for fantasy. His numbers were obviously inflated last week with. You know, a giant insane play with Terry McLaurin that you were feeling bad about. I still question the offense as a whole. Like, they didn't look good last week against Dallas. The end result for fantasy football was a success. I mean, he was literally the quarterback won. But I worry about the offense as a whole. Burrow or Jaden? I'd go Burrow. Okay.
Um, but that, but that, yeah, I would go, I would go burrow as well. All right. But, but, but Jaden, like a, so top eight. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Titans defense is not a bad defense, um, especially when they feel like they have a chance to win the ball game. Last week, Pollard got it done. Um, Oconquo, man. Yeah, Chico, well, yeah, the big 70 yard touchdown. That was a play if you saw that play where nobody thought he could run that fast. No. Everybody had angles that said, oh, he's just a tight end and then he's a bro.
Well, it's because he runs duck footed, man. His feet were like pointed out. What? What? Is this an observation I've missed? Yes. Watch that run. And I'm telling you, his feet are like pointed just to. Why is that because they thought he couldn't run fast because he was duck running? Yeah. You watch someone run with their duck feet out and you're like, that guy can't be that fast. I had no clue about this. Yeah. And so he's a duck runner? I guess he's his duck feet. All right. Well, that's in contention now. Calvin Ridley, a 31% target share over his last five games. Just keep playing him. Yeah, keep playing them. Five for 93 last week. He's not going to have many games where he's not giving you something. And he can give you a lot. Nick Westbrook-Akeke, touchdown in six of seven. If you want to stay in the flames there. He can't keep getting away with it. He should have an at-your-own-one-risk sign, right?
I mean, it's unbelievable how few receptions he has for how many touchdowns he has. It's got like a 50% touchdown rate. I'm with you, man. I hate it. I'm not doing it. Terry McLaren, uh, well, I like the, I like the snaps though. Terry McClorant obviously play him. Zach Erds, he's been on fire. He's not sexy and he knows it, but he gets into the end zone and he gets targets. I'd play him over pits. I'd play him over Disley. I'd play him over my start of the week, Muth. Yep, I'm with you there. I think I would go Disley above him, but I agree with everyone else. And then the, did we do the RBs here? Well, no, that's where I was circling. See, I was going around. Well, Brooks is, Brooks was like game covered. I was circling to the main point. Oh, you deleted it now, Brooks. I saw it. He thought we covered the whole game. You got cut. It's not like we haven't talked to. I mean, he's right. We've talked about the running back room, but right now, just to lay it all out real quick.
Jeremy McNichols, a very popular free agent pickup. What? Ackler dealing. That's not how you say my name. Jeremy. Meamy? Was that what it was? Jeremy Mick Nichols. Dude, it's a long show, man. We're fading. I was, I was so preoccupied in saying McNichols correctly. Oh, Jeremy. And I was willing to lose Jeremy on the other side. Do what did I say, Jamimi? I think you went Jeremy. Oh, my gosh. We'll check the tape. But yeah, what do you do now? If Brian Robinson is practicing. If he plays, I'm playing Brian Robinson with fear and trembling. That's what I mean. If he plays, I'm not playing McNichols-Rodriguez or anybody else. If Brian Robinson sits down, you can roll the dice with McNichols. You can roll the dice with Rodriguez. It's just where, I know the numbers are definitely, okay, you sprain the ankle, you either come back or you're gone for a while. But it's still.
I mean, it's still a loss of production. He's still going to be playing on an injured ankle. All right, let me help. Let me help. With chance of re-injury. If you've got somebody that you can play on Thursday, I wouldn't be dancing around with practice reports waiting on Brian Robinson. Does that help? Yeah, that makes sense. If you have Rico Dowdell, just play Rico Dalton. I think it's important advice as well, because this is one of those times where, you know, we talk about it a lot that if you've got players on Monday night football. You've got to be careful. You've got to have a pivot option. You need to kind of treat Sunday like that. Like if you've got a player that's questionable on Sunday, you're going to have a lot of your lineup that has already played on Thursday and Friday. Yeah, eight teams, right? Yeah. All right. Houston's seven and five. Jacksonville's two and nine. The drafting sports book line, Houston on the road, minus four, overrunners 43 and a half. We will.
hopefully see a bounceback performance by the Houston offense. Oh, we will. It's on the table for them. Jacksonville is so anemic. They're very good at being bad at defense. You know, they're one of the best ranked defenses if you look at the ones to target. So I want to be really positive about the Jacksonville Jaguars defense and talk about the good side of how terrible they are. Yeah, we love them. I mean, they are literally. bottom three in everything that you can find. I don't care what position you play them all. What about head coaches? Bottom three. Okay. Back up quarterback? I want to look at that glass half. They're top three in coaches that can get fired. Okay. Okay. Top three in coaches on their last leg. The great news is that right now Trevor Lawrence is expected to practice. And that is the biggest question for this game because I don't think.
With the Mac Jones experiment or even if they went to CJ Beth. I think you need him out there if you want Houston to play well. Exactly. Trevor Lawrence makes a massive difference for all fantasy assets. Is he a top three injured quarterback right now? I don't think so. Yeah. I don't know what I'll do that. We have more great news. That's also the only path for Brian Thomas Jr. to help you the rest of the season is the return of Trevor Lawrence. More great news to stop you from making a mistake. Tank Bigsby. will be full go in practice, meaning you don't have to look at Travis E.T.N. and go, well, he's all by himself. You don't have to look at either one. I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, just sit them. If Tank is out, I totally understand the, like we're talking about playing Jeremy McNichols because he's all by himself. Like, I get the temptation. Yeah. But you can remove that if Tank is a full go. Yeah. Don't do it, Jason. No, I'm not playing either guy.
I agree that I want to play neither, especially while both are healthy. But I do not believe it will stay as bad for Travis ETN as. It's been every game for the whole entire year. As it's been every game since his hamstring injury. And, you know, they didn't have Trevor Lawrence. So you don't know what the offense. I mean, touchdowns are kind of his thing. So I'm just saying. So you're going to scrape the carbon off the dinner roll and eat it? Because it sounds like you're going to eat it out of the trash. I've put it in the refrigerator for later. You pulled it from the trash, though. But it didn't touch anything gross. You sure? Yeah, it was on a clean box. Mike has been shaking his head for like 45 seconds. I know. All right. He's basically, I'm just saying, you don't start him now, but don't drop him. I think things can get better for a talented player. I would not drop him either. Evan Ingram, where are we with Evan Ingram? Sad.