THE UNOFFICIALFOOTBALLERSFAN ARCHIVE↗RSS timestamps belong to our exact archived audio capture. The publisher’s current playback may have different ads and timing. Machine transcripts can contain errors.
A hypothetical about Anthony Richardson's healed finger creating a stronger spiral shifts to Andy: the hosts declare his pinky exceptionally strong, and Andy says people have discussed it before abruptly moving on.
The hosts revive their remedy for Malik Nabers' chronic toe problem—tie it to a door and slam it like a loose tooth—then invent a Toe Fairy who leaves $100 because a normal tooth earns only about five dollars.
After taking credit for the NFL allowing players to bring their own smelling salts, the hosts imagine an underpaid seventh-round rookie funding himself by selling salts from inside a trench coat and asking who needs to wake up.
The twelve-team mock draws directly from Footballers staff. Julia and Matthew Betz appear immediately, producer Borland drafts Barkley, the Falcon follows zero RB, Papa Josh takes Mahomes, Kyle protests a stolen target in Slack, and the close credits the Deucers with managing both drafting and production.
The draft recap explicitly says Mike selects Kenneth Walker at 4.03, after which the established Ken Bone Walker name returns as Mike predicts greatness.
The last selection of the staff mock belongs to Kyle, who takes Kyle Pitts and prompts the immediate refrain 'Kyle went Kyle.' The hosts then hope few listeners remain for their own reluctant prediction that Pitts will be productive.
The episode introduces Mike as the Fantasy Hitman and quickly returns to the show's improvised medicine. After the earlier proposal to tie Malik Nabers' troublesome toe to a door and slam it, an Anthony Richardson finger injury inspires the possibility of a super-strong healed pinky; Andy's pinky is declared exceptionally strong and he says people have discussed it before. The hosts later revisit Nabers potentially losing a toe and invent a Toe Fairy economy in which a toe under the pillow earns a hundred-dollar bill rather than a tooth's five dollars. They also celebrate the NFL allowing players to bring their own smelling salts by imagining a seventh-round rookie selling them from a trench coat. The main event is a twelve-person staff mock draft. Julia and Matthew Betz appear among the first selections, producer Borland takes Saquon Barkley, the Falcon pursues zero RB, Papa Josh drafts Patrick Mahomes, Kyle protests Mike's Tetairoa McMillan pick in Slack, and the Deucers manage both drafting and production. Mike explicitly drafts Kenneth Walker and immediately calls him Ken Bone Walker. The closing crew payoff arrives when Kyle uses the draft's final selection on Kyle Pitts—'Kyle went Kyle'—while the hosts hope nobody is still listening to their reluctant prediction that Pitts will finally be productive.
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