THE UNOFFICIALFOOTBALLERSFAN ARCHIVE↗Transcript links use the exact YouTube video’s clock. Machine transcripts can contain errors.
A hypothetical about Anthony Richardson's healed finger creating a stronger spiral shifts to Andy: the hosts declare his pinky exceptionally strong, and Andy says people have discussed it before abruptly moving on.
The hosts revive their remedy for Malik Nabers' chronic toe problem—tie it to a door and slam it like a loose tooth—then invent a Toe Fairy who leaves $100 because a normal tooth earns only about five dollars.
After taking credit for the NFL allowing players to bring their own smelling salts, the hosts imagine an underpaid seventh-round rookie funding himself by selling salts from inside a trench coat and asking who needs to wake up.
The twelve-team mock draws directly from Footballers staff. Julia and Matthew Betz appear immediately, producer Borland drafts Barkley, the Falcon follows zero RB, Papa Josh takes Mahomes, Kyle protests a stolen target in Slack, and the close credits the Deucers with managing both drafting and production.
The draft recap explicitly says Mike selects Kenneth Walker at 4.03, after which the established Ken Bone Walker name returns as Mike predicts greatness.
The last selection of the staff mock belongs to Kyle, who takes Kyle Pitts and prompts the immediate refrain 'Kyle went Kyle.' The hosts then hope few listeners remain for their own reluctant prediction that Pitts will be productive.
The episode introduces Mike as the Fantasy Hitman and quickly returns to the show's improvised medicine. After the earlier proposal to tie Malik Nabers' troublesome toe to a door and slam it, an Anthony Richardson finger injury inspires the possibility of a super-strong healed pinky; Andy's pinky is declared exceptionally strong and he says people have discussed it before. The hosts later revisit Nabers potentially losing a toe and invent a Toe Fairy economy in which a toe under the pillow earns a hundred-dollar bill rather than a tooth's five dollars. They also celebrate the NFL allowing players to bring their own smelling salts by imagining a seventh-round rookie selling them from a trench coat. The main event is a twelve-person staff mock draft. Julia and Matthew Betz appear among the first selections, producer Borland takes Saquon Barkley, the Falcon pursues zero RB, Papa Josh drafts Patrick Mahomes, Kyle protests Mike's Tetairoa McMillan pick in Slack, and the Deucers manage both drafting and production. Mike explicitly drafts Kenneth Walker and immediately calls him Ken Bone Walker. The closing crew payoff arrives when Kyle uses the draft's final selection on Kyle Pitts—'Kyle went Kyle'—while the hosts hope nobody is still listening to their reluctant prediction that Pitts will finally be productive.
Bucky Irving off the board at 205, Chase Brown at 206. Oh, stop it. Jonathan Taylor. What did you think? Chase Brown's coming around to the late third? No, I didn't think you would make it to me, but we've got to keep this ADP in the third. Oh, I see. Yeah, not going to happen here on this mock draft. And maybe not in real drafts. But we'll see what the preseason looks like. Jonathan Taylor at 207, I have a hard time with the Colts in general. Like I love Tyler Warren. I think Tyler Warren's kind of... He's going to be like Brock Bowers. He's going to be immune to the problems around him, I think. He's that talented, that good. I do get really nervous about the quarterback situation for my confidence levels on Taylor, on downs, on Pittman, on any other peripheral player because, you know, Daniel Jones is not a celebrated situation.
You know, for years, that is the reason why you don't like weapons in New York. It's the reason why you don't like Shaquan Barkley in New York as much as you could have. So, you know, Jonathan Taylor, the end of the year, masked a lot of issues earlier in the year in terms of efficiency. It did when you're talking about monstrous games. I mean, they were all at the end of the year. However, his last 17 games, he's an A inconsistency. He's still a great asset, and I think he is such a special player. I have no problem taking Jonathan Taylor.
I wish he was playing with Eli Manning, as opposed to, you know. Well, not anymore. You don't. Well, sure. He's really old. Today's Eli Manning, no. I just worry about touchdowns. I just worry about whether that's really going to be a part of. The touchdowns from an offensive standpoint of whether the team is good enough. And when you get near the goal line, you have two possible, you know, quarterbacks of convulcher touchdowns. We've got Taylor at 207, Drake London off the board, Kyron, Josh Jacobs, and Brock Bowers at 2.11. I think I just re-remembered that I am in this draft and need to make a pick. Yeah. And by make a pick, I mean two picks. So I am on the clock. Jamar Chase was the first rounder. You know, this, I will, let me highlight something here. If I don't take one of the premier tight ends with one of these two picks, which I don't want to do, they will not be, I will have no shot at either one of them. That is correct. George Kittle will be gone. Trey McBride will be gone. I don't think I've drafted.
a top tier tight end at all in any of these mocks. So maybe that would be a reason to give it a shot. I'm not really looking to go quarterback. At running back, I'd rather be dead than draft Breece Hall. So other players on the board, it feels like there's been a big tier break after Josh Jacobs. This draft has steamed up the running backs. Chase Brown, Kyron Williams. Those guys are usually going in the third round. This group of riders, they're not playing those games. Yeah, I will take Tray McBride. We'll give that a shot. It's a mock draft for a reason. Jamar Chase in the first, Tray McBride in the second. Looking at the running back position, I'm going to pull the trigger on Amari and Hampton, which I think has the highest upside at this point in the draft. You're making decisions between him and, you know, the ever injured Kenneth Walker, the older Alvin Camero on a bad offense. Joe Mixon's on the pop right now. And it's too early, I think, for Connor and Montgomery. So Amari and Hampton will go off the board at 301.
Higgins, McConkey, and J.S.N. The next three off the board. Lamar Jackson, the first quarterback off the board at 305. Garrett Wilson, Mike. He's not going to be on your team. He goes at 306. Brian is the worst. That sounds like a grade school fight. Chuba Hubbard off the board at 307, Marvin Harrison. And George Kittle at 309. So Kittle goes. you know what is that eight picks behind the other two guys yeah i mean he's still steamed up here uh when we started this i feel like a month ago he was a fifth rounder if you say steamed again that's too many then you'll be steamed that's too many times you i'm gonna work it in you've been i'm gonna work i don't know why you chose that for today but you are hitting it so you know the peewee playhouse word of the day a month and a half ago kittle was like a fifth rounder then he was a fourth rounder now he is um
I still think late 3rd is fine. Yeah, it's still good value. I think, you know, if you compare what he can do to McBride and Bowers, I mean, he was on a points per game. He was the Titan 1 last year, over Bowers. So, yeah, it's going to be interesting to see where he ends up landing. All right, Mike, you were on the clock, Nico in the first, A-chan in the second, half-p-r, where you, where's your head at? So I was going to, like, you know what, I think. I don't mind. We talk about Tyreek. I don't mind him here. But the fact that I have A-chan and going all in on the Miami Dolphins with my second and third doesn't feel extremely comfortable. So I'm peeking around. No one has done the, the quarterbacks have not started going off. I was hoping that kid will drop to me because I was going to take him in front of Jason.
Because I knew he would, I know the room, I know he would not make it back. Yeah. I had three players on my cue that I thought might get to me. It was Kittle, Harrison, and Garrett Wilson, who are all gone. So I am taking a peek here at my rankings. Go. I don't think I can do the Tyree Kill thing. So that leaves, then that turns me to. Well, here you go. Tyree Kill. He's on the board for me too, and I just didn't want to do it. Yeah. Well, I don't want to do it because I don't want to double.
Dolphin. Would you have, I mean, if you didn't have A-Cham, would you have taken Tyreek? Yes. Okay. So you take Mike Evans? Yeah. Because Evans is just behind Tyreek in my rankings. So Tyreek does go next, putting Jason on the clock, two picks here at the end of the third start of the fourth. Derek Henry, Malik neighbors so far? Yeah. So the running back tiers, you're to the real question marks. You're to the breeze halls, the Kenneth Walker, the guys that are talented, but you're just not sure. Are they going to get the workload you want? Are they going to be on the field?
At this point, you know, I've talked a lot about how Josh Allen's a guy. I haven't drafted. I don't expect to get him anywhere because he's usually in the second round. I'm at the three, four turn here. It's a pretty good value. So I will definitely take Josh Allen at that point because what I'm sacrificing isn't these other wide receivers and running backs that I'm so confident in. At this point, I mean, I might be sacrificing a great running back or wide receiver, but they all have a lot of question marks. So at wide receiver, I've got Devante Adams. D.K. Metcalf, some of those guys still available. I'm not loving any of them to be quite frank. Sommetkaf doesn't make you feel alright here in the fourth? Metcalf makes me feel okay. Honestly, when Mike was on the clock, I thought, okay, no problem. Mike Evans will be my pick. I will be very happy with that. And then he took Mike Evans, so I was unhappy with that. I will take Metcalf here. I think he is a clear one for his team. I think Aaron Rogers has...
I mean, even when he's played poorly, he showed last year. Garrett Wilson and Devante Adams had plenty of fantasy success. And there's no one else to throw the ball to in Pittsburgh. So, yeah, Metcalf will join neighbors, Josh Allen, and Derek Henry. Well, after Metcalf, Camero went and Mike took his guy, Kenneth Walker at the 403. Yeah. You see a fullback dominating in that scheme last night. Ken Bon Walker. is going to be great. I'm going to be completely honest with you. When you said, did you see, I assumed it would be like Walker was practicing. Like that was how hyped you were that he was out there on the field. He is rested. So that means that he is practicing. He does need a lot of rest. Terry McCloran goes next. Jalen Hertz at the 405. DJ Moore, Devante Smith. James Cook, good value. 408. Great pick. I think by Al Borland pulled the trigger. I had some hopes that he might sneak all the way back through.
but of course he didn't. Matthew Betts with just the testosterone flowing through his body right now with three running backs. Yes, and it seems that all the people drafting in front of me knew exactly who I was looking to, which was James Connor, Jameson Williams goes right in front of me. Joe Mixett's there for you, dude. He is going to be the pick. Joe Mixon and Joe Burrow, Joe and Joe. I'm putting the Chase Burrough stack into play here. He's burrowed the fourth off the board here. It's the difference between him and Jaden Daniels. I want the stack, so I'll take Joe Mixing and Joe Burrow. I blame picks two through five there for not taking Joe Burrow. I was, that was the number one on the list. I was just hoping he made it back through.
Because completing that stack completes me as a person. We've seen it a lot where you just turn the auto draft on. You're like, well, I'm done. I don't care. Yeah, I'm feeling good. Joe Burrow in the fourth or fifth for the team that drafted first or second. So the Jamar Chase team often ends up. It's like the, it's the easiest to complete stack because it seems like when you're in the middle of the rounds, there's better players to take over Joe Burrow. And then when you're sitting there with Jamar Chase on your team, it's just like a no-brainer. Yeah, no, it feels awesome. I love it. But you now have taken two onesies in the first five picks. We'll have to see if your depth pays the price. Absolutely. I'm going to count Chase as two wide outs, though. Joe Burrow, I took at the 501 Montgomery next pick-ins off the board. Travion Henderson. Mike is weeping. Devante Adams at 505. RJ Harvey, two picks after Trayvion. It feels like the drumbeat on Trayvion is going one direction. RJ Harvey is going the other direction.
Zay Flowers at 507. Aaron Jones, who is listed on the initial depth chart as the running back one. No co-starter listing between him and Jordan Mason, not that that matters much. Jaden Daniels at 509 seems like a value. Falcon is also going, he's going very low T. He's got three wide and his onesies are already drafted. He's also got the McLaurin Daniels stack. Going zero RB. Mike, you're back on the clock. A. Chan, Kenneth Walker, running back Evans and Nico Collins, Twinsies at wide receiver. So looking at my rankings here, this would have been the spot that I hoped George Pickens would drop there. Unfortunately, he does not. And so I got my primary guys. So I'm just maybe going to go swings for some upside here.
I'm going to leap him up just a couple rankings because I have concerns I may not get him back. I'm going to take Tetaroa McMillan. You would not have got him back. He was on my list for this turn. Yeah, and Kyle shouts no into the slack. Yeah, I made the right decision. And then settled upon Cortland Sutton, who I think is going to have a very solid deal. Cortland Sutton, he's wild, man. That's the name I was looking at. You know, he's higher in my rankings. He's in my top 20. But, you know, like at this point when you're saying, Ken, I don't know, just the upside. I think he's got upside. Even though he's, Sutton probably outscores McMillan. We need to wash away all the, the multi-year frustrations of Cortland Sutton not developing, I think. If we believe in Bo Nix at all, then Cortland Sutton is going to have an incredible year. So I'm on the clock. I was prepared to take my first share of Isaiah Pacheco this year had everyone on my cue gone.
But thankfully, Caleb Johnson, a player I very much believe in. I just wish Arthur Smith wasn't there. I got bad news for you. Arthur Smith is there. And he's not going. Yeah, I know, I know. But I do. He also represents your RB2 here. He does. It's a little bit dicey. I'm going to have to add some probably some veteran starters later in the draft. But I'm going to start slow and I'm going to win a championship. I'm going to start slow with Caleb Johnson. I'm going to start slow without Rushy Rice and have to kind of. find some victories along the six round pick six game suspension six round pick uh i get what i believe is a wide receiver one when he's out on the field so six round is where i'm i'm willing to take the gamble on rushy that's too rich for me mike do you want him in the six round i do not okay Travis hunter off the board at 602 mike you're back on the clock you got the rookie tetaroa macmillan if you want to if you believe in kind of like
Symmetry, you've been wide receiver, running back, wide receiver, running back. Well, maybe I do. So the running back, yeah, Pacheco is there. Man, Pacheco in the sixth round. Oh, boy. Is interesting. I'm actually, I'm looking at two chiefs. I'm looking at worthy and Pacheco. Pacheco doesn't feel good, but it is a situation, it is a backfield that we need to attack. And reports on him have been. I think better than we anticipated. I'm going to do it. I'm going to take Pacheco. Well, you keep it going, you keep it going on, the wide receiver running back, back and forth. See how long I can do it. DeAndre Swift goes next and Tony Pollard off the board at the 605. We finally see Stefan Diggs leave here in the middle of the sixth round and then a huge, in my opinion, value on Jalen Waddle. You just look at the, you know, Tyreek in the late third, which is he's slipped a little. But then Waddle, you know, three full rounds later,
And I think if Waddle stays healthy, I just don't see that much of a differential between them. But you probably, I mean, I just like, I mean, you should be of all the people. You should be the one that just assumes he'll be healthy. I got absolutely torched by Jalen Waddle last year. I just think it's, it makes me chuckle of, you know, like the Kenneth Walker, everything is does he stay healthy? And I know it's two rounds later. And it's just funny to hear you guys be in on Waddle. Of course I'm in on Waddle. Well, of course I'm in. The cost, man. The cost is much different. But I do believe your entire team, if you get the players that you want, could all, you could have nobody play in week three. Yeah. I play for first. Or last. Yeah. Stefan Diggs, Waddle. Ooh, I got fourth place. Worthy. Olave. Call my mom. Well, I mean, there are, you can win with players that don't get hurt. Right. Yeah. You can actually, you almost always have to win with players who don't get hurt. It's not like.
spinning the third pick on Christian McCaffrey is at value there. But Olave at 609, Ridley and Pierce also a huge run of wide receivers off the board. I have two names currently in my queue. I'm just double checking to make sure that I don't have anybody else I'm missing here. I'm going to be the guy to take this player the highest he's been taken. I'm taking J.K. Dobbins in the end of the six round. I had him in my queue. I was sure he'd get to the seven, eight turn. I don't think it is a bad. Well, I've got to wait like 5,000 picks between my two rounds. It's an important piece of advice for people that are drafting on the turn. When you are on the turn, you are 24 picks away and crazy things happen every three or four or five picks. You've got to take the guys you want. You can't play the ADP game. If you're in the middle, you know, if you're,
near the turn, go ahead and play the ADP game and be like, okay, J.K. Dobbins isn't going in the next five or six picks, but is J.K. Dobbins going in the next 25 picks? Right. Maybe. He was on the next 25 picks. I didn't want to lose. Oh, come on. He was. That was so low. You freaking jerk. You just, you just gave a big speech about why you got to pull the trigger. Yeah, but not my, you took my two guys. Amika, Buka is off the board. Come on. He was so low. Of course he was. You disgust me. I love mock draft season with Jason. So you discussed me. Yes, indeed. Egbuka and Dombins off the board. Now, you know, Egbuka is my wide receiver too. I'm going to have to add some depth there. But maybe not. I mean, if anything, Egbuka gets off to the fastest start a rookie can with the opportunity afforded him. So Brian Robinson, Jacoby Myers, Addison, Jaden Reed, Jerry Judy.
Kelsey and the 7th. I like that. Odunzei, who it was between Igbuka and Adunzei there for me. Jameson Jameson. Oh, sorry, not Jameson. Giovante. The worst of the Jay Williams. Mike, you're back on the clock where you're, we got five rounds left and you are sitting Nico Evans McMillan, H.N. Walker, Pacheco. It's a lot of solid running back wide receiver depth. Yeah, we are. Let's keep this train rolling, everybody. I'm just going to take my guy. I don't know what the ADP situation would shake out on this corner. We talked about the concern for the Colts, but I just have such faith that Josh Downs, whose numbers, you know, his behind-the-scenes numbers of like targets per route run, like we're truly wide receiver one level. And I think he came by fine with Richardson. And Daniel Jones stinks, but Daniel Jones also started the year just...
throwing Malik neighbors the ball every single time he could. And I think that could be Josh Downs. Yeah. So I'm on the clock. Jalen Warren went to Kyle. And I basically had four guys in my queue. And I wanted a running back and I wanted a wide receiver. I preferred J.K. Dobbins and Icuka. Those were the two I wanted. Oh my gosh. I have them. But I'm taking basically the other versions of them. I'm going to take Jaden Higgins, another rookie wide receiver who looks like he's going to start for day one for C.J. Stroud. And I'm going to take Jordan Mason.
All the camp reports are that it's basically a 50-50 split. I love the offense there for Minnesota. So, you know, I needed one of each. I would prefer your guys, but I guess it makes sense that you got to draft before me. That's fair. Bonix goes next in the eighth round. Mike back on the clock. Downs was the last pick. Why don't we give Mike a second to think we'll take a break? Please do. We'll come right back. All right, Mike, back on the clock here. Downs was his pick in the last round, third pick of the eighth round. Yeah, so I am a man of balance. I got my four wide. I got, well, I guess I'm not totally balanced. I would be if I took a running back here, but I'm not going to as this draft, you know, sharper people that we did not fall for the tight ends in that area where they should not be drafted because there's just too many juicy players.
But I am now going to take my tight end. Genius. Like I was just looking at, I was just looking at this. I'm like, we're in the eighth. And these guys who I just said, you know, is like the, on my ice pick, when taking those guys in the fifth round over those, that caliber of running back wide and shoes, it makes no sense. Here? Yeah. Yeah, you got to take them. And this one is tough because it's, um, LePo, I got La Porta there. Man, you got Hawkinson is there. Dude, it's crazy the amount of guys there. I didn't even realize that Leporta was there because I was looking at, I was thinking, Hawkinson, David Najoku, which one do I want to go with? Do I want the upside of, like, I think if things work out for Joe Flacko and David DiJoku, he will be just an unbelievable pick where Hawkinson will just be kind of safe and not let you down. But with Leport is still there, I do, I personally believe.
and the upside still being there for him. So I'm going to take him over the, just the baseline of Hawkinson. Sam Laporte off the board. Travis E.N. goes next. Oh, man. DeAndre Swift, Giovante Williams, and Travis E.TN. What could go wrong? Those are the three running backs for Al? The thing, that's the Falcon. Oh, that's right. Because he wins zero RB. The thing about zero RB is your team is not, like, it looks gross at the draft. But it's all about shaping it as the season goes on. So when you are a full zero RB team, you can't just look at the draft and judge it by that. So after ETN, Hawkinson goes off the board, Golden, rookie Matthew Golden, who's been getting rave reviews from Jordan Love, Debo Samuel off the board, Jerome Ford off the board, Mark Andrews, Juan Jennings and Khalil Shakir. Jennings. I'm going to go.
I'm going to double-tap the wide receiver position here. I've got these guys all set up. I'm going to go ahead and take Keenan Allen in the eighth round. Wow. And I'm going to take Chris Godwin. And I'm going to put him on the pup. I'm going to put him on the pup if he goes on the pup. Otherwise, I'm going to have a deal on Chris Godwin here in the ninth round. I have Igbuka. I'm looking for some depth at wide receiver, and I love that offense. Frederick Tillman goes off the board at 902. Tank Biggsby a round after Travis ETN.
Patrick Mahomes, a ninth round pick to Papa Josh, who also has Mr. Olave, has Addison with the suspension there, but has Jefferson and JSN to hold up that wide receiver room. Last mock draft owl went with the... disgusting New York Giants backfield. Oh, the Scataboo Tracy combo? Yeah, he just like, I got, I got locked that thing down. That was a few drafts ago. Oh, sorry. Feels like yesterday. I bring it up because now you are like, you know what backfield I need to lock down? The Cleveland Browns. Jerome Ford, Judkins, back to back and Baker off the board charge. He's not under contract. He's going to get a six game suspension. He doesn't listen to the show. Okay. He's not a fan. He's not subscribed. All right.
Baker Mayfield, Charbonnet, Najee, Scataboo. Mike, you're on the clock. What a great name. What? Scataboo? Are you kidding? It's a fun name. He's got to do something special. Well, he's hurt right now. And I do find it interesting. Tyrone Tracy, the starter is still sitting there. Mike, you're on the clock. You took Leporta. You'll need a quarterback in the next three rounds. Not really concerned about that. Looking at the quarterback, we got Kyler. Goff is there, Herbert, Purdy, Caleb Williams, Dak, Justin Fields, Jordan Love. I mean, Drake May, not concerned about that position at the moment. We're going to go, we're in the ninth. All right, we're going to start, I mean, I got my, you know, I have the players I need to start the year. So we're going to throw some upside here. I'm going to take Luther Burden as someone who I have made proclamations of.
could be very surprising for the Bears, excuse me, as even possibly ending up as the second best wide receiver on the team. Scataboo, Burden, and now Tyrone Tracy does go two picks after Scataboo. Jason's on the clock. Jordan Mason, Jaden Higgins, the last two picks for him. We've talked about what we believe the Patriots could develop into as an offense. I am in need of another running back. And while Mike, hates him because of his love for Trayvion Henderson. I think Ramandre Stevenson is still going to be very involved for this team. He's paid a lot of money and it should be a committee. That's such an important pick for your team. I was just looking at your team with Caleb and Jordan Mason as your RB2s, which maybe, you know, maybe that works out quicker than expected. Maybe Mason startable from day one. But adding Remandre gives you so much more just comfort at that position.
Yeah, and then here in the 10th round, I'll go ahead and pull the trigger on David Nogoku, my usual late round tight end target. It was between him and Tyler Warren, who goes next. Nice. If it's a real draft, I very well might take Tyler Warren over David Nogoku, just for the hopeful breakout upside. We know what David Nogoku is. He's not going to be, you know, up in the Kittle McBride tier with Bowers. You hope that maybe Tyler Warren does. something special. If Flacco plays every game, David Nujoku could be right there in that second tier, like the leader of it. Nijoku, Warren off the board in the 10th round. We're sitting here. I really do believe Tyler Warren is just a free square if you need it. Sure. Mike, you are back on the clock. Two picks left. All right. Looking at the quarterback situation, I got to make one.
So I'm going to follow my rankings here. ADP, be darned. I'm going to take Dak Prescott. All right, Dak is off the board. Keaunt Coleman. We had Shakir go off the board in the eighth round of this draft. There is hope that he's back for week one. And if he is, then his depressed ADP will be helpful for fantasy players. Trey Harris off the board, Ray Davis, Evan Ingram, Tucker Kraft, Jaden Blue, Toppa, Josh. A nice throw there. Ray Davis. Yeah, not talked about enough. Not talked about enough. There's two running backs who I think we are not, like we have done a disservice. And I apologize. Ray Davis needs to be talked about more. And Braylon Allen needs to be talked about more of like they haven't paid Cook yet. He is doing his, why are you here business? Like he's holding in. Ray Davis, when given the opportunity, looked like a guy who really belonged on the field. And it's going to be a time share.