Brooks's garbage-can memorabilia
The Megalodon giveaway uses signed memorabilia that Brooks supposedly had lying in his garbage because, the hosts joke, he is wealthy enough to own a hundred of each item.
THE UNOFFICIALFOOTBALLERSFAN ARCHIVE↗Transcript links use the exact YouTube video’s clock. Machine transcripts can contain errors.
The Megalodon giveaway uses signed memorabilia that Brooks supposedly had lying in his garbage because, the hosts joke, he is wealthy enough to own a hundred of each item.
The Thanksgiving ritual returns with five awards, a turkey vocal explicitly credited to Jason, and Kyle named as one of the people who selected the winners.
The final Turkey Day category is formally called the Mike Wright special and Jack in the Box Award because Mike considers conventional Thanksgiving food outdated.
The hosts offer three confidence-underpants levels, then describe the base steel pair as rigid, unbreathable, elastic-free, and permanently impossible to remove.
Jason's guaranteed Boom Boom Kicker serial resumes after a prison escape and plane hijacking, only for a Megalodon to bite the plane's 'anus' before a parachute escape with Brandon McManus.
A meteorologist-style snow report declares a perfect, scientifically silly correlation between Vermont snowfall and monstrous Derrick Henry games.
Baker Mayfield's grandmother's banana pudding launches the claim that nobody likes banana desserts more than Jason, followed immediately by the awkward poll 'Do you really like banana desserts?'
Late in the marathon, the hosts select #spicysurprise for listeners to enter the signed-memorabilia giveaway and immediately wonder what could go wrong using it on X.
After Mike finishes last in Fantasy Faceoff, the Wheel of Shame assigns a live-turkey look: a foul-smelling latex head whose snood drags across the microphone while he says he cannot breathe.
The 2023 Thanksgiving marathon stages the annual Turkey Day Awards, formally repeats the Mike Wright Jack in the Box award, literalizes start-confidence as permanent steel underpants, and adds another chapter to Jason's ornate Boom Boom Kicker story. The show also jokes that wealthy Brooks treats signed memorabilia like garbage, invokes the Vermont-snow/Derrick Henry Yeti correlation, polls listeners about Jason's beloved banana desserts, converts 'spicy surprise' into the endurance-giveaway hashtag, and punishes Mike with a foul-smelling latex turkey head after he loses Fantasy Faceoff.
He's got a 30% target share. The real question here is, does he do enough for Josh Downs? Isn't that? And then why is that the real question, Jason? There are some fake questions out there, but why is that the real one? That's the real question because I think that there are lots of people out there that have Josh Downs in their lineup. And they want to know, is that good? He has not played full snap since week eight. He was, he was officially on a heater until the, the injury. I guess the continued injury took him out of action. I think Jason might be searching for Josh Downs injury news right now. I might. Yeah, he was on fire. Playing great. Yeah, I guess we do need some news here because they had the bye week. So nothing came out during that time. But the last time we saw Downs, it was 25% of the snaps. That was a re-injury, yeah. So it's important to note if you might not even remember, but that week 10.
game the last time we saw downs where he didn't play much at all. That week of practice, he didn't practice. He was a D&P the entire week. I was shocked when he was active for that game and he was barely on the field. So I'm really curious now that they've had the buy week. He's had a little bit more time to recover what the practice reports say this week. And it's too early to know right now. I don't even see a practice report for the Colts, which feels like this should be up by now, but they have not reported yet.
If he is back to full practices, I think Josh Downs is a really good play this year. Terry McLaren and Josh Downs. If he's practicing in full, I would go Josh Downs. Drake London or Josh Downs? Downs, if he's practicing in full. Cortland Sutton against Cleveland or Josh Downs? Downs. What if he practices in half? Yeah, I mean, it's actually a little bit more concerning. If he's a limited participant in practice, that means he's not fully recovered. from the injury that just had him play. I have one more for you. Michael Pittman or Josh Downs. I don't like this game. Mike was trying to get me to trade for Michael Pittman right at our trade deadline. I was trying to give him to you. Yes, thank you. I chose not to. And to be fair. To myself. To myself, it was a mistake. I regret it.
But I was right up against the limit and the timer expired. And then I was like, oh, shoot, I should have done that deal. He's right in the middle of his Jalen Hertz tilt, too. I mean, there was a lot going on in that mind. But I wish I could do it now because I love Michael Pittman in this game. Well, the culture favored. Baker Mayfield, you know, he's had two plus passing touchdowns in each dome game. The over under is nice. It's okay. And they've over, you know, they've kind of overperformed it. So look, Mike Evans has been a monster.
Baker is a very fine streaming option. We do have an updated piece of information here that I don't know if Jason has heard. Mayfield was asked about his favorite Thanksgiving food. Oh, okay. And he said he's a dessert guy and he named Grandma Maas banana pudding. Oh, baby, Baker! Start him. Start him. I mean, that has to move Baker up in your ranking. He's number one. He's literally my number one quarterback. Nobody likes banana flavored desserts more than Jason more. Maybe Baker Mayfield. I'm going to be honest. Look, I'm not saying anything. I'm not judging you by saying this. I've never known anybody to like banana desserts that much at all. I think it's a pretty low, I mean, Baker's the second person I know. Well, I'm putting a poll up right now. What is the poll? Do you like banana desserts? Is that fair? Is that worded? No, I mean, I think it's too neutral. Do you really like banana? Okay.
All right, I'm good with that. Okay. Do you really like that? That's the stupidest word of poll ever. Do you really like? Banana desserts? Okay, we can reword that. No, no, it's perfect. It's perfect. I'm posting it. Do you really like banana desserts? He just came out of nowhere. Okay, let's find out. The people who are only likes, they're going to have a really tough time with this poll. Yeah, they're going to say, well, I like it. But do I really like it? He asked a very specific question. Do you involve banana desserts in your thanksgivings? Uh, if I can't, if I can't, I just voted by the way. You voted no. Oh, you dog. I mean, the way I view banana desserts is that if I was at a place and they had no desserts, or they had banana desserts, I would prefer the banana desserts. Yeah, because they're good. Well, because I want, I want dessert. Um, yeah. If it says bananas foster, like if that is labeled on anything, a drink, a, uh, a dessert. What makes it bananas foster versus banana?
It's like caramel banana. Okay, that sounds better. Oh, it's real good. Right now. Right now, 60, 40, yes, baby. We have taken the majority. The banana people. The banana, us, us banana people. You, Baker, and everyone else. This is a little bit banana. Uh, Deucer's Alley. Happy Thanksgiving. Are you in the banana crew? Do we, can I get thumbs up or thumbs down for banana desserts? I'm just a like. Okay. I said thumbs up or thumbs down. You have to make a choice. Then down. Okay, down, down, and then we got one up. All right. I voted no. I did too. You're not a deucer. No. Thankfully. Rashad White's a must start. He's a start of the week. Chris Godwin, look, he's, you got to put the name away a little bit, I think. I agree with you. I think you've got to make, you got to realize that like, he's been bad. Yeah, and it's not just now. I mean, like, this has been, it's been a while, to be honest with you. Yes, it has. I mean, if you look at last year's numbers, it's kind of similar to what he's doing now. He's just.
Kind of pedestrian. We had hoped that we would see the resurgence of Chris Godwin after being fully recovered from the ACL tear. But Baker Mayfield is a Mike Evans stand, and that's where he goes. And I will say this. I really like targeting players against Indianapolis. We've done it with great success all year. But over the last month, there's been a couple other matchups that you target for wide receivers like Tennessee, where... Chris Godwin had six targets against Tennessee scored seven fantasy points. These are not valuable targets he's getting against Houston. He had six targets in that game, scored two fantasy points. So while the matchup is exciting, I think that it, you know, it obviously has been a trap over the last couple of weeks. I love Rashad White. I love Mike Evans. And of course.
Baker's the quarterback won. But outside of those three, I think, uh, I think that's all you want in this. I agree for the most part, but I think that Kate Otten is potentially a spicy surprise this week. Kate Auden is the 100% break glass tied in for everybody in a desperate situation because he plays every snap. And that's one of the prerequisites I want for my team is good. Like this is, yeah, you're right. This is one of those games that it's over under at 44 right now. This one, I think, could end up going. This could go to a back and forth. We're down to 50. The over and under is at 44. That sucks me. Yeah, that seems really low. All right. The banana people, it's down to 58%. Oh, no. So, you know, it's still too high. Too high for me. All right. We're moving to the New England Patriots game. Oh, boy, guys, Patriots Giants. It's just a Super Bowl rematch from years gone by. Games in New York.
The overrunners 33 points. They're combined 5 and 16. It might be too high. Wait, 33 and a half? Yeah. Yeah, the Draft King Sportsbook line here is New England minus three, but it's projecting an 1815 juggernaut matchup. You know what would be really nice, a chance at rain in this game. Let's have the weather. Is that what we have? Yeah, we got a good chance of rain in this one. They're not domed up over there in New York, huh? Oh, no. No. No, no. Football weather. They're tough guys. All right. I mean. Like it's sloshy. Slappy ball. Now, would you say, Jason, do you want this game? No. No, no, no, no, no. I'm turning my back on this game. This is the 31st and 32nd ranked teams and points per game. I mean, this game doesn't interest me enough to make an almost upset, but I think the Giants might win it. So I guess I'll do it.
Andy's almost upset of the wig. Tommy Davido. Look, play Sequin. Yes. We're done with the Giants. Yeah. Play Ramandre. I would agree. Maybe play Zeke. Sure, and maybe play Pop. Pop. DeMario Pop Douglas. If Zeke, Pop and Romandre. Yeah. Okay, what is the next game? Honestly, we don't have to talk about them no more, right? Please, please. Just the last note here, Mack Jones and Bailey Zappy split all the reps during the media portion. I hope they split the reps during the game. They probably will. I want a third down quarterback. That's what I want. You know, it's like, let's take the NFL to the next level. Like, third and long, he's our guy that can throw it harder. We do have a quote from Mac Jones who says, quote, I know the locker room has my back. No, you don't. Oh, man.
I normally, no, most people get surgery, but I didn't. Oh, man. Dude, when I saw him in the press conference, I felt terrible for Mac Jones. He looked like the saddest man on earth. And they're like, does the coach have confidence in you? He's like, I don't know. Should he? I don't know. I know the locker room has my back. Yeah. Yeah. No, no it doesn't. It's not going well. Jacksonville 7 and 3, Houston, 6 and 4, the Draftkin Sportsbook line, Jacksonville minus 1.5. The overrunners 48 and a half. Now this is a game. Let's have a game. Let's have a shootout. 48 and a half. That's wonderful. Lawrence, Ridley, turned it up last week. Beautiful. Scored a pile of points. CJ Stroud and Company took care of Arizona. Stroud threw for, you know, he's averaging more yards per game than any quarterback in football, guys, the rookie. Yes, he's been incredible. It's fantastic. He's got the most pass plays of 20-plus yards, and he's got the targets to throw them too. I mean, Tank Dell's running wild down the field. Nico Collins, big target.
Downfield target, great yards per catch. Like C.J. Stroud this week at home against the Jaguars. Are we ready to just kind of elevate him into a, like he's so enjoyable to watch. Into a must start situation? Yeah. C.J. Stroud is certainly someone that should be started in most situations. I mean, obviously you're not going to start him over the. Krim de la Krim, Jalen Hertz type of guys. But, I mean, he's just been. Brock Purdy or CJ Stroud? I'd go Brock Purdy there. Kyler, and I think that's basically right after that is where CJ Stroud comes in. I'll take Stroud. Over, Kyler? Yeah. Yeah, I don't blame you. I just really like the rushing baseline. Are we ready to say good? I'm sorry, go ahead. Justin Herbert this week against Baltimore or CJ Stroud? I think I lean Stroud there.
All right. Devin Singletary has been on fire. Yeah. He is getting everything. He's had two consecutive weeks of over 20 fantasy points, catching the football, scoring. I think he's a poor play. You're saying no matter what? Because, I mean, Jacksonville's been giving up a lot of points on the ground over the last six weeks. 20 points on the ground. He's been on fire. Offins a player of the week. They're a very, very tough rushing defense. On the course of the season, they're fourth against running backs. But as far as yardage on the ground, they're just actually a good running defense. The last time we saw him against a good running defense where he got all the work against Tampa, he was two yards of carry, got shut down, was a really poor play. I'm not saying you have to bench Singletary, but I don't think, you know, he's heating up. I don't think he catches fire this week against Jacksonville.
Regardless of Pierce's situation. Right, right, right. This is assuming... What if Damien Pierce is active? If Pierce is active, then I'm looking to... Mike, what do you... Do you agree? You agree, Jay? He's just... It's a volume play. I agree that I would not be looking at the last two weeks going... Being very excited to play Singletary, assuming he's alone. You would or you wouldn't? Wouldn't. I'm not excited. Like, I'm tempering the expectations. Because I don't... I think that it's a tougher match. If I know the last six weeks... It has been a little bit better for running backs against the Jags, but I have concerns for Singletary. I think that the public opinion on Singletary differs quite a bit from you too, from what I've seen. Because this is the RB3 and the RB4 the last two weeks. I mean, I've had people sending me Twitter messages saying, do I play them over Jonathan Taylor this week? Because Taylor's matchup isn't good. And Singletary's carried them to victory. So I think it's a really tough decision for people. It is.
I am very, very comfortable starting Singletary with no Damian Pierce. If Damian Pierce is back, I think you have to stop the loyalty that you've had to Singletary over the next couple, last couple weeks. I'm starting him, you know, if I'm looking at a... Like Mixin versus Singletary by himself. Ooh, I would go Mixing. The Steelers haven't been great at stopping the run. I'm okay going Singletary there. Travis E.T.N. This is the matchup for you. Maybe. He hasn't scored in a while. And so he's had a couple subpart games. Are we, you know, look at this matchup. Are you playing Singletary by himself or ETN? ETN. ETN. ETN. Okay. What is the wide receiver room going to be like this week for Trevor Lawrence and Company? Go ahead and make the most impossible prediction possible. Yeah, I mean, it's really tough. Obviously, this was Zay Jones back. Calvin Ridley had the huge game. Chris Kirk was pretty mild. I'm going to continue to.
believe what we've seen over the course of the season that Christian Kirk is the primary guy that you should start and not just be reactionary to one game back was A Jones. It will be interesting. But I'm still, if I'm ordering it, I'm ordering it, Krisha Kirk, Calvin Ridley's A Jones. I guess I skipped over the non-tank Dell options. I guess Tank Dell's in your lineup. But Nico Collins did have 11 targets with seven for 65. He's in, right? Oh, he's in. Yes. Over Ridley? Yeah, I would start Nico and Tank over Ridley. That'll be a tough call for people. I think that that's important advice because everybody, or I guess a lot of people had Ridley on their bench last week. And they felt burned and like, okay, he's back. What do you do? So as of right now, Noah Brown is questionable. If Noah Brown is back to you, like he was on the exact same.
fire path that Devin Singletary is currently on wide receiver 2 and 7 before his injury do you one of those was no Nico and one was no Robert Woods I believe yes so coming back from injury it's just crazy yeah I mean when you've got the passing leader in yards tank a lot of yards go around tank Nico Brown order yes that's yeah I think that's all do it all right Trevor Lawrence four touchdowns last week Texans to give it up yeah You're hoping for a shootout, so I'm okay with Lawrence. Jason talked about putting him in that streaming category, and this is a week you would stream him. Yeah, exactly. This is a very good matchup for quarterbacks and for tight ends, and they've got a good one in Evan Ingram. So Evan Ingram seems like a top 10 play this week. He's got an NFL high 71 targets without a touchdown. That's crazy. He is due. Yeah, and this is a good matchup for that. If you adjust for schedule,
The Texans are the 32nd best team against tight ends, meaning they're the worst. Yeah, thank you. Cleveland, seven and three against the five and five suddenly streaking and favored in this game, Denver Broncos. Drafking Sportsbook Line, Denver minus one and a half. The other under is 35. Question one, Jason, are you surprised that Denver's favorite in this? I'm shocked that Denver's favorite in this. That's how I reacted. Now, Mike was not surprised. No, I think Denver wins. Wow. I'm on the other side of that. I do not think they would. I think they've done an admirable job. Their defense has totally revamped itself. It went from the stinkiest of doo-doo to one of the better defenses. They're locking people down. But I don't think their offensive woes have been healed. They haven't looked great on offense by any means. And if you've got a mid-level offense, we'll call it, against the Cleveland Brown's defense, I don't think.
Russ is having a fun game. Yeah, fantasy-wise, I would be terrified of everybody on the Broncos side. But I'm, aside from David Najoku on the other side, I would feel the same about all the Cleveland Brown's options. The way I'm seeing this, the game script is the Broncos defense has turned it around. And I haven't, and Dorian Thompson has not shown. I get, he beat the Steelers. He's not beating the, I don't think he's beating the Broncos on the road. Interesting. Yeah, I mean, right now it's projected as a close game with a low over under. What is the over under? 35. Way too high. Okay. Yeah, I could see that for sure. You know, the Browns figured it out last week in 1310 game. I'm comfortable with Ford. I'm fine with that. I don't think a high, a big time performance, but you're talking maybe, you know, double digits. Maybe.
Giovante Williams versus Zach Charbonnet is the number, one of the top questions. Oh, that's a. On our website. That's a toughy. Because the matchup for Giovante is, it's a tough one. I will. And there's, you know, Pyrine, last week was seven targets. Mm-hmm. I'm going, I'll go charb's. I will as well. I'm, it's consensus. It's your charmed. It would have been consensus no matter what. Are you saying it's unanimous? You know what? You're right. Okay. Okay. Good. Just wanted clarity there. Unanimous was the word I was looking for. All right. Consensus is, once it's two of you, it's consensus. Majority rules. But, yeah, I think post- Thanksgiving charbohydrates, is that what you're, you're in on that? Nice. Yeah. Over Giovante? Yeah, that's not busted. Okay. Cortland Sutton, we chase in the infinite touchdown against the Cleveland Browns defense, that secondary. I'm not. I'm not.
excited for it, but he'll get one. I mean, like, at this point, I'm not going to bet against him getting a touchdown. When we played flag football, there would be, we'd get around the goal line and there was one receiver that I just had a play and I just always threw it to the same guy most of the time. And it worked like almost all the time. It really does feel like the dream for fantasy players where you're like, if they're within the 10 and they're not running, you're just like, You know Russ is going to throw it to Cortland Sutton. It's like having Jalen Hertz and being so happy whenever you're on the one yard line. There's no worry about a running back getting the ball. They've got to move and they're going to do it every time. Not a lot every time. If you had bet on Cortland Sutton catching a touchdown every single week, only twice would you have lost? It's amazing. It's the, it's the, um,
Cryptonite of fantasy analysis is you can't, it's really hard to be here and be like, yeah, just play him because you're going to score. Because touchdowns are not supposed to work that way. No. And they don't really work that way for anybody, except for Cortland Sutton this year. I mean, he scored in both Kansas City games. Yeah. It's ridiculous. Yeah. And so, you know, Giovante, we talked about him. I mean, the matchup is really tough. And I was really disappointed last week in the utilization. So I do have, I got a little thrown off. I thought we were heading to a new place with Giovante. Yeah, it really seemed like that. You had 30 opportunities before the bi-week, 25 against Buffalo, and then it plummeted to 13. And he's been 3.1 a carry, 3.8 a carry, 3.4 a carry. He's not the same player yet. No, and they do use three backs. Like Jaliel McLaughlin gets on the field. Yeah. Can you start Amari Cooper? You can.
You can start, you're just not allowed to watch. Would you start Amari Cooper or Cortland Sutton? Sutton. Yeah, me too. Crazy. It's such a shame. In the two DTR starts right now, Amari Cooper has five catches for 50 yards total. That's just... Yeah, you just... Two for 25 is not good. You got to get lucky with Sutton, but you've got to get lucky with Cooper and Sutton's been working out. So, yeah, that's the story. But it's a tough defensive game. You said the 35's too high for you. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you saw it last week against the Steelers. I do think that the Broncos' offense is better than the Steelers' offense, but the Steelers were able to come up with 10 points against this defense. The Brown's defense is the best in the league. The Los Angeles Rams are four and six, and they take on the two and nine Arizona Cardinals in Arizona. The DK Sportsbook line, this one surprised me too, but Arizona had one point favorites. The overrunners 44 and a half.
The lines have been moving back and forth, basically a pickle, but Arizona's favorite right now. They got hammered by the Rams in week six, but that was Dobbs. And Sean McVeigh's 11 and 2 historically against Arizona. I actually do think Arizona might win this game, though. So, you know, when they play pretty well at home, Kyler, you know, his debut is against Atlanta at home. They took care of it. Could be a pretty interesting game. Yeah. You certainly don't have the defensive juggernaut battles that we've been talking about. You have... Very vulnerable defenses, although Arizona's has been slightly better over the last six weeks. They still give up a lot of points, especially to running backs. Yeah, so looking at the weapons for Arizona, Hollywood Brown has been extremely disappointing in the two starts with Kyler Murray. He has caught three passes for, or he's averaging 23 yards a game over those two weeks. I guess you, I don't know, Jason, are you playing Hollywood? He's on your roster.
I currently have Josh Downs in ahead of Hollywood. Right, yeah, and obviously I'll be monitoring the practice reports for Josh Downs, making sure he's healthy or not. I do believe you can start Hollywood Brown. He's been, you know, a yard away in both of those games from a touchdown, hitting him, you know, correctly in the hands as the rust is worn off with Kyler, this could be a fine play. I don't think he is a must bench, but you're certainly super disappointed with what's happened so far. I would love to start Karen Williams. Sure. Kyron or Connor? Let's say you have that decision on your roster. It's an easy, Kyron for me. I mean, the Cardinals are maybe not the worst against running backs in the league, but they are right up there. I like the Conner side there. Really? I do. I'll take a bet on that. I'm sure you would.
You want to? Yeah, baby. Waterbed. I mean, you have strong convictions around Kairn, so strong that you would rather face Alvin Kamara than Kairn. If James Winston is the quarterback, yes. Pay attention to the health of Michael Wilson, because this will be a DFS situation. But if Michael Wilson can't go again, Greg Dorch was six for 76. this past week against Houston. I'm not starting him in my season long, but DFS. He has such a snap goblin at the wide receiver position. If there's one opportunity, he will get in there and he performs. He is, like, you got to feel somewhat bad for Dorch because every time the team calls upon him, he produces, and then the team's like, thank you, thank you. Why don't you go back to the bench? We are not emotionally or financially invested in you, so please, back of the line again.
Trey McBride? Yeah, this is a great matchup for him. I know that we were maybe disappointed last week because it looked like a smash play where you were going to get a lot of, you know, at least double-digit fantasy points, and it didn't come through, but he didn't have a bad game for tight-ins. Seven targets, five receptions. This matchup is another really good one. They're 31st against on the season against tight-ins. Leporta or McBride? I would go McBride this week. McBride. Okay. and yay puka yeah this is this is going to be a real issue if you're facing puka this week he's going to have a pile of targets he catches them that's one of the big problems if you're facing him catches all those targets cooper cup i mean low ankle sprain do we do we have any updates i really would love to hear anything at all about mr cooper cup who kind of just tried to run on the sideline was clearly uncomfortable after the injury never came back out on the field
And yet the injury is not a high ankle sprain. So this is really helpful. I saw there's a chance he could play. Oh, it's a mild surprise. Or a chance he could go on IR. I are. Goodness. It's a possibility. Wow. Wait, what? Or he's just going to play. So we'll TBD. That leads me to believe that he might not play this week. He might play or we might sit him down for four games. That doesn't make sense. Or, I mean, rest of season. If Cooper Cup goes on the IR, he's just done. So those with him on their team, he might play. Those facing him, he might go on IR. That's what they're saying. Also, assuming, let's do the exercise that Cooper Cup is not in this game. If he's not in this game, I think Tutu Atwell is a very good play. Totally agree. In the games without Cup.
He's had eight targets, nine targets, nine targets, nine targets. He was still involved last week, drew some important PIs and has been decent for fantasy when Cup hasn't been there. When Cup's not there, never look to Tyler Higby. His usage will never change. No. It's always going to be like two to stepping up or some of the other options. That's funny. I was going to say over the first four weeks, he was a top 12 option, three of the four that Cooper Cup missed. 49 yards, 71, 64. I don't have the stones. Yeah, I mean, when you say those numbers, not one of those was 10 fantasy points. I mean, he was top 12 fantasy option with 6.4 fantasy points, one of those weeks. He's not helping you win. He hasn't been involved around the end zone. So I'm not really in on Higby. Moving on. Yep. Kansas City, 7 and 3 taking on the 5 and 6 Las Vegas Raiders.