The 10th-anniversary Megalashow begins in a shark-sweat fog
The live Los Angeles anniversary opens with sweaty, tummy-aching hosts and dancing sharks so overheated that they head directly to the showers.
THE UNOFFICIALFOOTBALLERSFAN ARCHIVE↗Transcript links use the exact YouTube video’s clock. Machine transcripts can contain errors.
The live Los Angeles anniversary opens with sweaty, tummy-aching hosts and dancing sharks so overheated that they head directly to the showers.
A pre-show misfire drains one of two tanks entirely into the giveaway gun, prompting the hosts to imagine the shot going through the roof or killing someone.
The hosts define two live-show requirements—the communal opening 'ah' and audience mailbag—and the later mailbag call is praised as an all-time, harmonized performance.
Mike spends a golden ticket saved for the live show; an unsuspecting Andy says he has no choice, reads a scripted take-swap declaration that Kyle Pitts is Parks and Recreation, and tears up the ticket afterward.
When challenged for invoking 66 games over six seasons, Mike declares that Mark of the Beast references are his thing and asks what other podcast even has one.
Mike presents Rico Dowdle as a suave running-back savior, the hosts advise listeners to find someone who loves them as Mike loves Rico, and the dispute becomes a Zeke-versus-Rico water bet.
Jason identifies a continuing line of show villains—Adam Gase, Jeff Fisher, Arthur Smith, then Dennis Allen—and later promises to shave his head on air if the Saints win ten games.
Andy and Jason concede to each other at the first bad play and sometimes send a pre-congratulations card with money; Jason escalated by buying Brooks pizza and gifts before their championship, received nothing back, and won.
Office My Guy candidates live on a whiteboard, firm convictions receive lock symbols, and one host makes his choice literally permanent with CVS nail polish, ruining the board.
One thrown hat hides a golden star that identifies the grand-prize winner; the finale thanks the Fantasy Cares bidders and toasts the Foot Clan after approximately 2,000 shows across ten years.
The Los Angeles live show opens with dancing sharks, a dangerously overcharged T-shirt cannon, and two audience duties: supply the communal intro 'ah' and harmonize the mailbag drop. Mike identifies himself as the podcast's Mark of the Beast guy, then spends a golden ticket he has saved to compel Andy into a scripted take-swap love letter predicting Kyle Pitts will become an all-time great. Mike later presents Rico Dowdle as a suave running-back savior and accepts a water bet. Jason delivers an extended on-show grudge against Dennis Allen and promises to shave his head on air if the Saints win ten games. In the audience mailbag, Andy and Jason explain their pre-congratulation superstition; Jason has even mailed cash and bought Brooks pizza and gifts before beating him in a championship. The My Guys office whiteboard uses lock symbols for convictions, but nail polish made one choice permanent and ruined the board. The show ends with a golden-star hat giveaway, Fantasy Cares support, and a toast marking roughly 2,000 shows in ten years.
You're drafting that way. I presume you think it is worse for him fantasy wise if he changes, right? To go to the Steelers? If he goes to the Steelers. I do. Okay, so right now he is going on Sleeper at the 302. He's going, he's going, like I love, I love Brandon Ayyuk. I legitimately in my heart watching him play, I think that he is a, you're a believer. A top tier player who deserves the contract that is, that I think he will sign. And if he goes to somewhere like Pittsburgh, over time, he will become a true elite fantasy football player. But at this point, if you're switching right now, that's rough. Like, it's brutal for this season. So, and I thought he was being overdrafted as a 49er. I think he will be a top 20 guy easy and he'll give you spike weeks. But I think like he's being drafted above.
Debo. He is. He is wide receiver 13. Debo is wide receiver 14. And as much as I believe in Brennan Ayuk, I wouldn't do that. Right. I wouldn't either. The entire round other than Stefan Diggs in the third, I would not draft any of those guys over Brandon Ayuk as of today, which is Mike Evans, Nico Collins, Jalen Waddell. Like I would rather have those guys over Brandon Ayuk with the unknown of we don't know where he's playing football. Does the situation change how you view kiddo? So it is a little bit of the flip, right? Debo Samuel, I think, is right now being drafted at a good spot if Brandon Ayuk shows up. Kittle is being drafted at a good spot if Ayuk is on the roster. If he leaves, there is built in value that is already there. So I'm in love with those two picks right now in fantasy because if Brandon Ayuk resigns and he's there week one, I don't think I made a mistake. And if he gets traded, I've got incredible value.
All right. And then one more piece of information here, the preseason week three, there have been some games played. Oh, yeah. Normally we wouldn't report on this player. Oh, Jason, can you? That was a full spit take. Were you remembering? I literally spit on my laptop. I just remembered what happened today. So it was awesome. It was awesome. It was awesome. Trey Lance. Trey Lance. Trey Lance Hyde played a full game. Yeah, he did. Do you got some numbers for me? I do. Okay, let's see how we did. Trey Lance, 323 yards, a passing touchdown. 11 for 90 on the ground with a 46-yard rushing touchdown. This is exactly what the Trey Lance Hive has signed up.
Four. Those are elite. Those are incredible. Well, wait a second. I do have one more. Five interceptions. Five interceptions. And two fumbles in one game. Well, in the preseason against preseason like the whole game, meaning against backups. How do you throw five interceptions against backups? Those guys are spicy, man. They're playing for a job. What happened, man? 11 for 90 on the ground. What happened is, uh, It's over. It's over, everybody. He's not good. All right. That was today's news and notes presented by USAA Insurance. Learn more at USAA.com slash insurance. Are you guys ready for some bold predictions? Let's do it. Ridiculously bold predictions. All right. I'm scanning the audience here because I wanted to make sure that this guy's, no one's wearing his jersey in the first few rows because I'm not sure you're going to like what I'm going to say here, but, um,
Brace yourselves. No, he loves Kyle Pitts. I know. Clearly, I love Kyle Pitts. Yeah. He's the best. I'm surprised you didn't get me a jersey to wear the rest of the show. I should have. Here's bold prediction number one for me. And I'm not excited to say this. I just, I just believe it. Anthony Richardson is not going to be a top team quarterback in 2024. I think it's mixed. I think it's mixed out there. And I am, I'm sorry, but this is not happening. this year and he is being he he is unproven inaccurate and overdrafted and in fantasy this might work out at some point in time i think it probably will like i'm not three lance any day baby yeah this has a lot of tray lance vibes but but here's the problem is that last year he was a rookie in indianapolis and he was the hundred and eighth player off the board in fantasy 10th round this year
after two games played, which they lost. Two full games, two injuries and two losses in the full games that he played, by the way. He's now the 50-second player off the board. So two games, five rounds. Yeah, we like what we saw. For Anthony Richardson. People, yeah, I mean, that is true. People are, they're excited about the potential. But here's what blew my mind. He has started 17 total games since high school. 17. No. That's 17. That is not true. Double check your work. Double check your work. It's beep poop. Confirmed. Whoa. That was quick. AI's good. No, do not check AI for fantasy dates. That's true. Factually wrong nonstop. 477 total passes he's thrown since 2019 as a quarterback. So when you talk about inexperienced.
Like, Trey Lance could teach him a thing or two is what I'm saying. And then, and then I'm telling you, he's also historically inaccurate. Like, in college, he was a 54% passer. That's bad. You take away. That's over half, man. You take away the screen game. This blew my mind. You take away just screen passes. He's under 50%. Oh, that's under half, Mike. Crap. Yeah. I have no rebuttals. Last year, there wasn't a top 10 fantasy quarterback under 64%. Okay? And over the last like five years, the lowest was 60%. Now it was Jalen Hertz, and you're hoping for that season out of him. But their schedule is rough. They're favored in four of their first 13 games. So Rusty Anthony Richardson, who didn't get to play.
who's basically like a rookie with, you know, an asterisk there, a sophomore with an asterisk. Who's also looked like trash in preseason. You take it easy. He's looked really, really bad. And now you have to spend a fifth round pick for him. So Tankdale, goodbye. You don't get Tankdale. Yes, I do. George Kittl, I'll see you. Goodbye. T. Higgins? Nope, not on my team because I took Anthony Richardson. And so he has to take that big leap forward. And I think the ride is going to be, there's going to be games when you're like, oh, my gosh. Like he has everything. He's going to run and he's going to get into the end zone just like he did in a couple of those games last year. But I think you're seeing it with where Michael Pittman is being drafted. I think there are doubts about the accuracy. So, you know, you know how many games that? So he has 17 games played since high school. How many games Jaden Daniels has? 18. 55. We don't make it up, people. 55 games played. He is.
Five rounds later, he is a prolific runner. He has the same opportunity, I think, as Richardson, because they're both basically rookies. To me, this is the most overdrafted player in fantasy. I'm sorry, but that's my bold prediction. I actually like it. I'm saying no. I hate that I like. Things are going great for me this year. My bold prediction was all booze last year. It was, yeah. Two Ruth out. I'm done. I'm leaving. All right. I'll do your second one. Yeah. All right, Mike. It is like it. Does it give you pause? It's unfortunately statistically compelling. But I mean, as you learned on the show the other week, I don't care about stats. Right. Very high team. But he runs enough. Maybe you'll be in. Yeah. Fire in your gut. All right.
I have a savior for your running back room, everybody. Oh, do you now? I've been talking about him all off season. My faith has not trembled one bit. No, Joe Mixed. The gases are coming. No, no, no, no, no, no. This man is being drafted as the RB 45. Whoa. He is suave. He will save your teams. Mr. Rico! It's quite, quite the introduction. Rico Dowdle. I don't think they like it. Rico Suave. I don't care. You know what hurts the most, Jason? The truth. Rico Dowdle finishes this season as a top 20 running back despite being drafted in the double digit rounds. And here's here is why he has a massive opportunity coming up for the Dallas backfield. He's only 26. He has the size. The frame 511 to 13.
I like it. Look, I wish it was 2.15, but I'll accept it. Just eat a burger. That's what I'm saying. Right before game day? Yeah, just drink a gallon of water. Hydrate up. Look, he can handle the workload. In college, he was a true three-down guy. Last year, he was explosive. Doubtle. Last year, per player profiler, ninth among running backs in yards created per touch. Last year, despite the lack of snaps, Dowdell. had four games of double-digit fantasy points. That's the same as Hage Spears, who people seem infatuated with on a crappy offense. Like, hey, Tajay Spears, look. That is their voice. Last year, that's the Tennessee voice. That's the accent. I think I nailed it. Yeah. Last year, 50% of the Dallas drives resulted in a score. They were averaging 30 points per game.
Tony Pollard is vacating 16 carries inside the five. And despite the wisdom of Jerry Jones saying, hey, we're all in. I mean, those are words. Those are not actions. He meant the grave. Those are not actions of Jerry Jones. His big action of all in was I'm going to bring in 29 year old Ezekiel Elliott, who may as well be 39 years old at this point. Because he's carried the ball over 2,000 times. His yards per carry. 2,000? His yards per carry the last three years, 4.2, 3.8, 3.5. Do you see where this is going? It's going in a negative direction. Look, it is an ambiguous backfield. In preseason, Rico Dowdle was the guy. You know, first six snaps with the starters, and then he was put on ice because they believe in Rico Dowdell.
All reports out of Dallas training camp, Dowdwell is the player who has the most juice at the running back position, the athletic. He has to be the favorite to lead the team in rushing. I shared the stat in the 10 tips and tricks of over the last five years, eight and a half teams per year. They don't have a top 24 running back drafted. And yet, on average, we see five running backs from those teams break into the top 24. And I think that is Rico Dowdell, who will lead the Dallas Cowboys in rushing. And Ezekiel Elliott, it's done, man. It is absolutely over. I don't care how much power his name carries when they start playing football and they can't move the ball, just like last year. Eventually, they're like, this isn't working. Go to DAC, go to CD. And it will work with Rico Dowdell, who will finish as a top 20 guy and he will save your running back row. Oh, goodness gracious. But, but, but.
But Mike? Voice of public opinion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How come last year they went away from Pollard and he finished as the running back 50? Doubtled did. That was last year. Your voice is struggling. I don't know. I over screamed in the intro. Look, over the last five years, a top 20 running back, they averaged 900 yards and nine rushing touchdowns. Zeke, just a couple years ago when he was still not great and he was 27. He was still a top 20 back when he was averaging 3.8 yards per carry. You give Rico Dowdell more work, more work inside the five, which I think that they will do. Fookland. Find somebody that loves you like Mike loves. Rico Dowdell. Oh, man. Excuse me. We're here to help you. Excuse me. Rico Suave, put some respect on his name. All right. That's fair. We could call him Rico Suave.
But I think, I think what I think you're, you know, you talk about. You're correct. The statistics making sense for Andy. And I think the statistics do actually make sense for Ezekiel Elliott here to finish as a top 20 back. Oh, no. Go ahead. Go ahead. Waste your picks on Zeke. I dare you. I think we've got to have a Zeke v. Rico Suave water bet. We got to do it. Waterbet. Easy money. All right. All right, Jason. All right, all right. Let's have. You guys want to hear from Jason. My first bold prediction that I think the entire world is behind. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Foot Clan. Prepare yourself. Dennis Allen, the head coach of the New Orleans Saints, will be fired after week five. The biggest cheer of the night. Freedom! You don't like that guy. This dude sucks.
Okay, look, it's fun in fantasy. We've had a long lineage of head coaching villains, right? Oh, yeah. We used to love dunking on. Oh, yeah. Adam Gase, number two, Jeff Fisher. Yeah. Last year was Arthur Smith. This year it's Dennis Allen, the short-term head coach of the New Orleans Saints. He is maybe the worst coach I've ever seen. But also Dennis Allen is so unlikable. I can't believe it. This dude sucks. His persona is that he's high and mighty and that he is the brightest shining star. And instead he is the biggest whining excuse maker I've ever seen at head coach. This dude sucks. Hold on. I feel like, I feel like 75% of your argument so far as this dude sucks. It should be 90%. Mike, I will work on that.
We joked about a month ago that on the footcast, I think it was, that Dennis Allen is clearly, he's driving a vet. He's got a corvette, right? Yeah. He's one of those guys driving around his vet. I looked into it. We were wrong. He drives a bus, and he drives it over his players, and he drives it over his coaching staff. Okay, every single time he is at the podium, all he does is blame everyone else. Beep, beep. Beep, beep. You suck. Beat, beat, my teammate, my, my player, you suck. Unless you're Tayson Hill. I said, no, he loves. In love with Tayson Hill. Oh, my gosh. But like, if you look at the offensive coordinator from last, oh, wait, no, you got fired. But the defensive coordinator also got fired. Not Dennis Allen's fault. Not is the coordinators. You, uh, okay, so here it is. Look, I'm saying he gets fired after five weeks. Here's why. I've got a three tiered process. Tier one.
His coaching sucks. Tier two, his personality sucks. Okay, all right. We're up to tier three, his schedule sucks. All right. Okay, let's talk about tier one. He's not a good football coach. He was, you might not remember this, and he will be so grateful if you don't. He was the Raiders head coach for three years back in 2012. He went four and 12 year one. Oh, that did. Okay, we're building. We're building. Yeah, we're building. Yeah, we're building. He didn't get fired. Despite going forward, 12, didn't get fired. Came back another year. He went four and 12. Okay, we're building. Consid he did. And obviously got, no, he didn't get fired. Instead, he went 0 and 4 to start the next year, finally got fired. You know who his quarterback was then? This is wild. Derek Carr, his current quarterback.
He locked into getting the Saints head coaching job. He didn't like win the gig. Sean Peyton left this franchise in a Tissy and like, he was like, hey, he's the head coach. Okay, so now what is he done? He's been sub 500 with a great defense and good talent. He has the lowest winning percentage of all 32 head coaches in the NFL. He's won 34% of his games as a head coach. After going nine and eight last year, which is his greatest accomplishment of all time. Also, he did have the league's easiest strength of schedule. Saints fans were literally raising money online to put up fire Dennis Allen billboards in New Orleans Saints. He's that likable? He's that likable. They tied for the second best turnover margin at 11, and yet he had just one win against the playoff team. He's just a bad coach. That's tier one. Yeah, that's tier one.
uh this guy nobody has a dude i can't stand this guy if it's not clear i can't stand this guy because i think it's clear i i watch how he talks about like i would hate being i would hate being a player for a coach like that you look at how players james got out yeah james got out yeah we'll talk about that in a second okay number two his personality sucks every interview he looks like a stressed and disappointed uncle Not a dad, an uncle. He's like, you have no respect here. Why are you talking? Here's what he said about Kendrae Miller this off season. It's hard to make the team when you're in the training room all the time. Also, quite frankly, since we drafted him, there hasn't been a whole lot of new information other than what I saw on college tape because he hasn't been available. You whiny baby! The guy's been hurt! I don't know if he could pick up the system because I haven't seen him out there. You whiny baby! Look, Harbaugh has...
Justin Herbert go down and Ladd McConkey go down. You don't see him up at the podium being like, I don't even know if Ladd can do it. He's been injured. Jay, Jay. The man has Quentin Johnston on his team, and I don't hear. No. And he's defending Quentin Johnson. Yes, because he's trying to build up his team. Um, yeah. I don't know. That player sucks. AT Perry. Here's what he said about another young player, AT Perry. He's been fine. Doing fine in anything is not going to end up cutting it. He has to do some things to catch our eye and impress us. And so I'm still waiting for that from him. That was when he was doing good things. This dude sucks. All right, tier three. Oh, no. His schedule sucks. So if you are a Saints fan, please root with me for them to lose against the Panthers in week one. This is for the good of your franchise. Yeah, it could be week one.
Because you should win. You should beat the Panthers. So your four point favorites. Okay. But if you lose, it'll be so good for the future of your franchise, week two, on the road in Dallas, week three against the Philadelphia Eagles, week four against the division winning Atlanta Falcons this season. Week five. Did you just reference the future in your argument? Yeah, he did. I did. Okay, just making sure. Bold prediction, one point five. And then week five on the road against Kansas City. If he doesn't get fired by then when he is 1 in 4 or 0 and 5, we're in luck because two weeks later, Sean Peyton comes back to the bayou. That will be fun. And I promise he will send him home with a pink slip. You want to know why Sean Peyton personally installed this guy, Dennis Allen, as the future head coach, because he knew he was coming back to coach and he's like,
Dude, I would love one team to be coached by that guy. That's an easy dub. That's an easy dub. I mean, last year, I don't know if you guys know the details of this story. But, you know, against Atlanta last year, this year's future champion of the division, they were up. It was like 41 to 17. And the whole team wanted to get Jamal Williams a touchdown. And it came to Dennis Allen. And Dennis Allen said, no, victory formation. And so the team goes, no, victory formation. And so the team goes out there, James Winston was behind center. And he, the whole team decides at the huddle, we want to get him the touchdown. So they disobey the coach, which first of all, huge sign of respect. Yeah, big time. Clearly, clearly the coach has respect and just loves working with his team and his team loves working with him.
And then afterwards, when they got the touchdown for Jamal Williams, and the whole team was happy, did a sound came out after the major victory, one of his few, and said, I can't, like, he threw James Winston under the bus, threw the team under the bus, apologized profusely, said that was, you know, wrong of them. He just doesn't care about his, he doesn't care about his teammates and his players and his coaching staff the way that he should, and that will result in him getting fired, I think, after week five. Wow. And I think all Saints fans want that. What do we think?
I've been I love it they love it tell us tell us what you really think yeah it's emotional for me yeah no I I pick up on that week five is intense I just think like I watch all these press conferences it's my job I watched 32 coaches talk and there's only one that I'm like this dude sucks I mean just like I would not want yeah that's tough Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't want to be his friend. Is that too far? No, no, I think you crossed the line so long ago. Okay, all right. So long ago, like 15 minutes. He doesn't want to be. I don't think he's going to want to be your friend. No, I think this, we got to not get that out there. All right, bullet prediction number two. You ready? Oh, my goodness. You thought you liked me. Yeah. The Rams are back. They win the NFC West.
Puka and Cup, they're both top 10 wide receivers in 2024. Now I'm not going to pretend. They love it. They love it. I'm not going to pretend it doesn't hurt as a Cardinals fan to have this near me because it does. But is it sweaty wearing a Rams jersey under your shirt over there? The Rams are back. The Rams are back. Okay. Tell me why. And people can't see it. But the Rams are back this year and it means that. Both of those wide receivers that you're trying to decide between, they're both finishing in the top 10 this year. When Kyran returned from IR from week 12 on, the Rams averaged 31 points a game in this offense. That's a lot. Sean McVeigh came out and said, he literally said, I can't believe I ever considered retiring. He loves this team. He loves these players. He says Cooper Cup is the reason that he coaches. They went out and found Pukunakou, who broke every record, both guys healthy, both on the field.
The defense, everyone wants to pay attention to the fact that Aaron Donald is gone, and that is huge. That's a big deal. But this was a defense that was coming along already. They made great draft picks. They put Jaredverse into that defense, and they are making great strides. And here, unlike the Saints, they are favored in every single game from weeks 5 through 13 this season. Every single game in that stretch. What about the first four? I am selective in my bold prediction, Mike. But this idea of them being both top 10 receivers, this is not as uncommon as you think it would be. Antonio Brandon Juju did it in 2018. Evans and Godwin did it in 2019. Adam Thielen did it twice. What? What? That's right. When? Once with Diggs. Once with Jefferson. I don't remember. Yeah. Well, it happened. Tyreek and Waddle did it in 2022. A.J. Brown, Devante Smith did it in 2022. Wait, who was Jalen? Jalen Waddle?
Dailin Wattle did it. Oh, that guy's good. Yeah. No one did it last year. I think both of these guys do it this year. And how does it happen? Consolidation of targets. These are the two best weapons in the offense. When they played together, they both were on pace for over 140 targets each. That'll get it done. They are a dominant pair. What was this? Just the one clap. The one clap. Okay. All right. Oh, no. Now you're happy. It was one person. Fantasy players trying to decide who is going to be the one. They're both going to be wide receiver ones this year. And even though it goes against everything that I believe and want to believe as a Cardinal fan, I have to acknowledge, the Rams are back and they're winning the division. They're winning the division. All right, pander bear. It doesn't feel like pandering.
The Harbaugh fans out there don't like it. A new pander bear emerges from the shadows. How does Los Angeles butt taste? Tastes delicious. It does. I've been there. All right, Mike. What do you got? All right. Well, speaking of Los Angeles quarterbacks. Okay. Once upon a time. Jared Gerve, top five quarterback, and he's going to win the MVP of the NFL this season. Oh, my goodness. Motor City MVP. That's right. I appreciate. Jared Garf? Jared, I appreciate that the crowd, look, you can see beyond the stripes of your own team. That was your guy once upon a time, and seeing him have success. It's great. Look, Jared Gough, the lions have gone from, man. Right?
No, I think they went from, yeah. Oh, yeah, okay. Well, I didn't go. My sound effects were not all the way back, backdated. Oh, okay. Look, exciting upstart. NFC North champs. MVP should have won the NFC championship. And they're putting it all together. Jared Goff, he finally does it, a magical season for both the Lions and fantasy football. When Jared Goff is, when he's got the suds after the game, because he's shirtless. You know what's tattooed across that chest? Home and Dome games, baby. Home and Dome. Because that's what he needs. Look, he's played 17 games at Ford Field the last two years. Do you know what his full? That's a full season of games. 17. Yeah, you got it. What he has put up over 4,700 passing yards and 43 passing touchdowns. He should play only home games. What is he doing going on the road? When we say Jared Gough dominates.