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Main show · October 31, 2019

The Halloween Show! + Starts of the Week, Week 9 Breakdown

RSSOct 31, 2019 · transcript indexed
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The Halloween Show! + Starts of the Week, Week 9 Breakdown

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0:00 ↗

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0:26 ↗

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0:53 ↗

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1:28 ↗

Coming to you from pristineauction.com studios with your host, Andy Holloway, Jason Moore, and Mike Wright. Welcome in. Oh, it's not an ordinary Thursday, is it, fellas? No. No, it's not. Welcome in to the fantasy footballers. Happy Halloween. It's October 31st.

2:04 ↗

For those of you just listening, I'm going to describe what I am witnessing. Straight across from me is... I'm here, everybody. Go-goo-co-ca-joo. A full-on walrus. Ah, that's Darren. I am the walrus to you. Darren. Oh, go-go-co-ca-choo! We've got a full Darren Waller in studio. Thanks for joining us, Darren. Where...

2:30 ↗

He can't see. He can't use his hands because they're just flippers. Oh, this is a mess. This is awful. And in case you're curious, Jason is dressed up as Chris Goblin himself. Now he can't see. I have no glasses on. He can't talk.

2:52 ↗

without personifying some sort of bridge troll. It's really hard for me to use my normal voice while I'm wearing this mask. And legend has it of they talked about, you know, Jim Carrey. I don't know who I'm talking to. I'm talking to no one. So Jim Carrey, when he played the Grinch because his contacts were so insane and they hurt so bad, he was, they brought in like Navy SEALs.

3:17 ↗

to help him train for torture training? Oh, come on. That's not real. Check the legends. Check the logs. But Jason has knives going into his eyes. It sucks, man. We should have brought him in. This, I can't see anything like you, Mike. And yet neither one of us actually have something in our eye. Whereas the lizard king. Oh, Sammy Watkins over here.

3:45 ↗

Look, the lizard party is starting to break through. I am, I'll say something right now. I'm pretty afraid that the real Sammy Watkins will watch this and begin to believe he is right about the world around him. She told you. Called it. Oh, nice. Welcome in. We have a.

4:05 ↗

a fantasy football podcast to do i figured out how i can see everyone i just have to give you this side eye oh no you look great mike you see the funny part was is i thought i was going to be doing the heavy lifting today i had to get some prosthetics put on i've got a contact in and here i am with two my two blind compadres i can't see i can see jack squads we do we do this all for you foot clan

4:29 ↗

We've even got a Halloween segment today. We've got the fantasy forecast. We've got our starts of the week. I'm watching Mike try to drink a mug. Oh, you got to go to the YouTube. Nailed it. Yes. I encourage you. We'll post some pictures on the Instagram, Instagram.com slash fantasy footballers on Twitter at the FF Ballers. I know your wife is very happy. You didn't shave your face today, Jason. Oh, yeah. Last year I became a human thumb after Halloween. That's never a good thing.

4:59 ↗

Also, I don't know how I could drink either. Trying to drink a glut. This is, uh, this is quite the experience. Let's get into our Halloween segment. So spooky. Oh, man. So scary. So, uh, pretty sure I heard some toilet water in there. It might have been. All right. Today we're doing what we did last year. Compare a player to a Halloween candy. Jason, why don't you kick it off? Yeah, I'm going to say that Devonta Freeman is like,

5:41 ↗

milk duds because there are people out there that like davont to freeman and there are people out there that like milk duds they think milk duds are good and they go oh this is nice until you eat on and it wants to take your tooth out because it's the stickiest unchewablest

6:04 ↗

awful piece of candy out there. Fake chocolatey caramel. It's terrible. Wow. That used to be my go-to. Putting milk duds on blast. I am putting milk duds on blast, but not just milk duds. Devanta Freeman. Look, I have had a hard time getting over what you did to me last year. You're talking to Devanta. Yes, I'm talking to Devanta Freeman. Not milk duds. One and the same, my man. I mean, they're both trash now.

6:30 ↗

Oh, come on. Other players, other candy has come along and said, yeah, when was Milk Duds invented? Like the 20s? It had to be. It was actually the first candy. Exactly. And now we've improved. We've gotten better. And look, you served your time. You were great once upon a time, I'm sure. But it's time to move on. And that's DeVant Freeman to me. All right. Judge Giamati, I can't get over Jason's voice. Can you handle this?

6:56 ↗

I think I can't. I feel like I need to pay him a troll, a toll. You got to pay the troll toll. Yeah. All right. Do you want me to go next? I sound different. No, no, no. No, no. You sound great, man. Never sounded better. Super normal. Sweet. I'm going to say that Sammy Watkins, I'm going to give a little, uh, comparison to myself, the lizard king himself. Sammy Watkins is taffy. Okay. I like when do you, when do you ever see?

7:25 ↗

Regular old taffy. You only see it one time a year. And listen, I went back and looked. There were, out of Sammy Watkins' last 37 games played, there were 10 of them in double digits for fantasy points. That's 27% of the time. Well, I figure I like Taffy about 27% of the time that I put it into my mouth. Sometimes. It can be a delicious treat. Oh, yeah, 27% of the time.

7:52 ↗

The rest of the time it's a really crappy flavor or it's too hard or too chewy or gooey. You don't know what flavor it is. So that's what Sammy Watkins is to me. He's a 27% hit rate just like taffy. I got you. Well, with all this negativity, I'm bringing it back to positive. Oh, really? Because I'm also referring to myself. Oh, I should have done Chris Goplin. You should. Well, it's too late now. Yeah. But Darren, I am the walrus. I.

8:20 ↗

am a full-sized candy bar. Because when you're trick-or-treating and you walk up to a house, you know what? You don't deserve. You do not deserve a full-sized candy bar. You deserve that handful of mostly crap. Taffy and milk duds. But sometimes the night is just right, the stars of a line, you walk up to a house, and there it is for free.

8:47 ↗

They hand you a full-size candy bar. It's like robin a bank. Of your choice. And that's what Darren Waller was. He was off of your waiver wire or your last pick in the draft. And he has been nothing but sensational. He's also huge. He's like, oh my gosh, look how big this is. That guy. I saw one. So we have our sleeper league where we are what, seven and one now? Seven of one. Oh, that's spectacular. We beat juju.

9:16 ↗

But Ninja, I saw Ninja posted. He's that house this year. The full-sized candy bar. He better be. Let's be honest. If he's going to Costco to get like the, and he's like picking the cheap bag out, come on. Mix, mixer won't have that. Yeah. But we're holding it. You know, that, that league's got some money on the line for St. Jude. That's right. You know, if we, if we can bring it home. So a reminder tomorrow on the show, we've got in or out, the injury updates.

9:46 ↗

We'll get you caught up on the latest. You know, today Adam Schaefter tweeted, David Johnson is not expected to be out there. What? So it'll be a mixture of Kenyon Drake. And Alfred, I'm just trying it out because I figure it's more likely than Grand Canyon. I didn't understand that you were saying yawn at first. Oh, no, no. I just thought it was like you were emphasizing.

10:11 ↗

the second syllable a lot. No. Yon Drake. Yon. Okay. So Y-A-W-N. That's correct. That's what you're going to get tonight. And then you've got Alfred Morris and Zach Zinner. So three players that two weeks ago weren't on the Cardinals trying to overcome the 49er defense tonight. David Johnson's not likely to be there. A reminder on Sunday morning, a full half hour of Mike bringing you that. It's me. Special tilt edition of

10:41 ↗

Start set. And this week in particular will be so tilty. But I guarantee. I mean, Jason, I can't turn to my right. I can't see Jason. I'm going to have a nightmare tonight. Yeah. How much money would it take for you to wear that the whole day? All of the money. Because this sucks. Fantasy forecast. Again, I'm going to look into my camera right here. And I'm going to tell Sammy that this is this is pretend.

11:16 ↗

Okay. I am not a real lizard person emerging from the darkness. Because there aren't real lizard people. Okay. PSA for you. All right. Fantasy forecast time. Other than David Johnson, by the way, Matt Breda, Rahim Mostert, both questionable. You could gaze an eye at Jeff Wilson Jr. tonight if Matt Breda and Mostert are both out. I agree. So would you play Jeff Wilson or...

11:44 ↗

you know, in that situation, or Adrian Peterson against Buffalo. I actually love Adrian Peterson. He was almost my start of the week this week. So while Jeff Wilson, I think as a player you can play, I would definitely, I'm.

11:59 ↗

I like Adrian Peterson. I think Buffalo's defense is great against wide receivers, and we'll get into it in the matchup, but they're not that good against running back so far. All right, we've got another London game. Now, Mike, we've done you a small favorite. It's called daylight savings time. Yeah. And so you can get up an hour later. By daylight savings time, you mean everyone else is doing it. Arizona does not. So our time schedule actually shifts, which, hey, if you're listening to this.

12:23 ↗

You're going to get the podcast an hour earlier starting next week. That's true. Walruses, Arizona, only two species and states that don't recognize daylight savings. And Hawaii. That's true, too. All right. So there is a London morning game, the Texans. Take on the Jags. Texans are five and three. Jacksonville is a respectable four and four. Texans are only one and a half point favorites in this game. Savage Garden. Yes. Gardner Minchu.

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versus Deshaun Watson. I'm super excited about this game. I mean, would you have been, who expected Jacksonville to have the leading receiver in the AFC, DJ chart currently leading the AFC and receiving yardage? Do, do, do, do. And the leading rusher. Leonard Fournette currently leading the AFC and doing all of this with a backup quarterback, a rookie quarterback. A six rounder. And.

13:24 ↗

You know, this team is, it's, it's right there. And so, and the Texans, you just lost JJ Watt. I'm excited for this game. The over under is 46 and a half. I would take the over. Goodness gracious. That's a stupid line. Well, I mean, it's not a bad line. It's not a low. I think you have to impact the London part of it. I would take the over as well. A little whimbly field.

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