Bold Predictions & Player Analogies - LIVE in Phoenix

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Hey all, before we start today's show, we want to get real with you with a message from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. Drafts are here. You're going to have time with your friends. You're going to have fun with your friends. But let's remember to be smart this season. Remember that your reaction time slow way down when driving drunk or driving high. Don't kid yourself. If you feel different, you drive different. Learn more at nhtsa.gov. And remember.

Drive high, get a DUI.com studios with your host, Andy Holloway, Jason Moore, and Mike Wright. Welcome in to the Fantasy Footballers podcast live in Phoenix. Give it up. The final stop of our fantasy for the people tour presented by draft. We've been around the country. We bring it back home here.

The NFL season is almost here. I saved it. I didn't want to tell the other cities. But we knew that Phoenix was going to be the best stuff on the tour. Which means we got a live mailbag on the show today, which means a live mailbag drop, which means you have to bring it. You got to bring it for the live mailbag. It's not Mike's responsibility tonight. It's yours. It's yours. We got a great show for you today. Bold.

predictions. Ridiculously bold. So bold. These takes will melt your face. Well, hot takes that will give you the hot snakes. You don't want the hot snakes, people. And you do not want the hot snakes. So if you're not... Take a thumbs? If you're not prepared with the Pepto-Bismol or the emotium, I suggest you leave the building. You can follow us on Twitter at the FF Ballers. They know that right here. But if you're listening at home, follow us. Stay tuned.

We have, look, this show over the course of the last three years, we've chosen to bring up a few analogies. Maybe you remember the dirty cake. Maybe. You remember Jeremy Macklin? I mean, some of you might. Some of you might not. It was a delicious cake on a bad team. It was like eating cake off the floor, which, I've done it before I'd do it again. No shame.

I don't know if you remember, Sean Drone was... Oh, that's going back. He was a big salad, and we compared him to the fantasy vegetables that you got to eat. Not everybody's sexy. Sometimes you're the lettuce in the salad. And you don't want to eat it, but you know it's good for your team. It's not a salad without lettuce. And then recently we got the pink moose, Antonio Brown, the pink moose.

Logical. Made a lot of sense. Made so much sense. When you compared him to a pink moose. The literal worst analogy of all time, the pink moose. That's okay. That's all right. You win some, you lose some. So we'll go with this as a quick question here in Phoenix tonight. What's the best player analogy you have for 2018? The season's almost here, Mike. What's you got? All right, I'll start us off, and I want to talk about a running back from the Houston Texans. His name is Lamar Miller. And the honest truth is...

Lamar Miller is... The audience that sucks. The audience has already weighed in. And this is what I want to say about Lamar Miller, is he is the song, never going to give you up. Because, number one, not only have a Rick rolled this entire audience, but we have all fallen for that trick. How many times? How many times did you personally fall in for a Rick roll?

on the internet. I'm in the double digits. But here's the thing about that song. I like that song. It's kind of a good song. So while the joke's on them, the joke is actually not on me because that song is catchy and it sinks into your bones and it gets in your soul and you get a smile on your face just like breaking news today when head coach O'Brien says,

Lamar Miller is a three-down back. And on top of that, you got rig roll, Mike. On top of that, his main competition, Deonté Foreman, he's headed for the pub. That's six weeks without Deontay Foreman that Lamar Miller gets to be a three-down back. So you're playing that song every week is what you're saying. So what I'm saying is... He's getting Rick-rolled. I might be... I might be...

I might be clicking on an unauthorized hyperlink. Yes, okay. All right, we got it. Jason, but I like it. But I like it. Yeah, I'm going to give an analogy that I don't like, but I think it's the best one we could come up with this year. LaShawn McCoy is the equivalent of one day expired milk. Okay, we've all been there. Yeah, we've been there. We've all been there. It's like...

I've been there, but that milk is out. Right. I mean, different people, right? Different people are like, oh, dude, I don't do that. One day expired, that's garbage milk. Some people are like, one day expired, that's two weeks early. I'll still drink it. And those people have equal life. But here's what I am. Here's what I am. I'm the guy that, in those first two rounds, I already poured the cereal. I already poured the cereal. It's in the bowl.

And I need a running back, and I'm looking, and I go, and I open that thing, and I'm like, I'm giving it a good width. And I still can't tell. I smell it. I go, I hope it's okay. And look, here's a deal. But do you do? I'm not, I'm going to pour it in. I'm going to take the value. I'm not going to be happy about it. But it will get the job done. And the reality is, LaShawn McCoy, I've said it this whole offseason. He has so many.

problem. So many red flags. So many reasons why he's going to suck. But he's probably going to touch the ball 300 times. And if you do that, you're going to get the job done. So yes, he's stinky expired milk. And yes, I'm going to put him in my third round on my team. And I'll be just fine. Hopefully I don't get the hot snakes. But do you do the friend test when you're sniffing the milk? Because you can ask your friends like,

What is this? It smells fine to me. In my house, I go to the wife. You got to smell this. You got to sniff this. Confirmation? Did you ask your friends? No, I'm going to go ahead and put that on my own shoulder. He already poured the cereal. He doesn't need to ask anybody. I'm starving, Mike. That's pretty good, though. I'm not sure McCoy would enjoy the analogy, but I can see what you're saying. It might be deserved. Get bodied. Here's. You already brought it out. Yeah.

Here's what I'm going to go with. I'm going to compare Sam Bradford. Sammy Biscuits, right? Sammy Biscuits. We call him that for some reason. I'm going to compare Sam Bradford to Jason Moore. Oh, all right. So you're telling me he's awesome. Underrated. Okay, so far so good. Hyper-accurate, if you saw his rankings from last year. This is sounding great. Number three. Number three.

questionable fashion decisions with the sleeves from Sammy Biscuits and you've, yeah, that's nice. Jason is unbuttoning. This is a problem for everyone. And then lastly, more importantly, surprisingly athletic given the body type. This is the nicest you have ever been to me on this show. You took that as a full compliment? That was a full compliment. Okay, so, and you like biscuits. Oh, dude, I can eat biscuits all day.

Jay Biscuits? Jay Biscuits with a side of expired milk, my friend. Oh, goodness. All right. Well, I mean, it's time. Let's do it. Ridiculously bold predictions for 2018. Oh, it just keeps going. It's super. The live rumble. Some might say, it's great. I've heard from the front row, they said it's, they've proclaimed that it's great.

Well done, as always. All right, ridiculously bold predictions. We're going to kick it off with Mike. That's probably a good place to start. Yeah. We're in Arizona. I am shamelessly a Cardinals fan. But here's something that I got to tell everyone in the entire fantasy community when I'm talking about bold takes. The Cardinals offense are going to shock, stun,

And surprise many people when they finish the season with a player in the top 12 of their position at all four major starting positions for fantasy football. I don't even know if the Arizona crowd is on your side yet. They're like, are you sure? I mean, this is not something that happens very often. No, it certainly does not. In 2017, there were only two teams with a quarterback running back.

wide receiver and a tight in in the top 12. That was Kansas City and the Chargers. The zoo needs to hold it. I haven't gone there yet. He's here. Call him the zoo animals. He's taking it in. Let's start where it's easy. David Johnson. Sure. His 2016 overall running back.

One performance. That was the most points at the position since Chris Johnson in 2010. It was dominant. We all remember how Todd Gurley crushed it last year. David Johnson, two years ago, had more points. Let's move it over. It's still kind of easy. Larry Fitzgerald, a wide receiver one. Why is he a wide receiver one? Because that's what he is. First Ballot Hall of Fame, and he's been there the past three years.

Wide receiver 9, wide receiver 12, wide receiver 5. This is what Larry Fitzgerald does. 100 yards, 100 receptions, 1,000 yards. Book it. Here's where it gets a little more difficult. Ricky Seals Jones. Who is that, Jason? When he finally got his opportunity, the converted into a tight end. And when I like fantasy tight ends, I like when they've been changed.

from pass catchers, from wide receivers, and do tight ends. Last year, four straight games of 18 plus yards per reception. That is insanity. That's gronkeon. As we say in the biz. In the biz. Starting now. Yes. Sam Bradford's tight ends over the past two seasons where he played essentially a full year. 2015, Zach Kurtz, 112 targets. Kyle Rudolph.

2016, 132 targets. That was the Titan 9 and the Titan 2 finish on the year. Now we've gotten to San Bradford. This one's a little bit harder. And I could tell you that he had the second most accurate season in the history of the NFL. That's all you got? That's really all I have to go off of. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, there's no time for the public opinion when my takes of this hot. But Mike? Yes. Sam Bradford.

He's played in the league a long time, and he's literally never once been a quarterback one. And I argue that rebuttal with, come on. Hey, I mean, come on. Hey.

It only takes once, right? It only takes once. Hard-hitting analysis from Mike the fantasy handman. But here's the deal. If David Johnson does what we think he's going to do, and that's 1,000 and 1, if Larry Fitzgerald is a wide receiver 1, and Ricky Seals Jones is a tight-in-one, then it is not a stretch at all to just tiptoe women there? How does he stay healthy? How does he stay healthy? I mean, how does that happen? Hyperbaric chamber.