THE UNOFFICIALFOOTBALLERSFAN ARCHIVE↗RSS timestamps belong to our exact archived audio capture. The publisher’s current playback may have different ads and timing. Machine transcripts can contain errors.
Jason enters by threatening to throw a chair, says the threat keeps Phoenix on its toes, and explains that his path around the stage hit a dead end. The desk then spots the Waffle King, answers with the King of Waffles, and hands the formal introduction to Al.
The hosts remember Andrew Luck retiring moments before their last Phoenix show and say predictions made on this exact stage have come true or sent a condemned team to a Super Bowl. The audience then reveals its Megalabowl players, including a self-declared shark.
The celebrity-comparison slide equates Julio Jones with the Queen of England as past-prime reminders of another era. Jason later answers a player question in a sustained Queen voice that nobody can understand, asks for closed captions, and praises what 'the queen' said.
The hosts recall that the old hype-train sound was frightening to listeners in cars. Complaint emails arrived, and the team's lawyers advised them to stop using it even though the studio itself could not be hit by a train.
An asthma tangent recruits a player to 'Team Asba,' demands the blue inhaler, calls the red version garbage despite claims of equivalence, and identifies the single Illinois audience member who understands.
Mike is willing to go to space if he can bring Dramamine, expects to vomit everywhere, and decides that once the vomit floats away in zero gravity it is no longer his problem.
The desk remembers Jason predicting the beginning of Tom Brady's end on this same stage in 2019, immediately before Brady's team won a Super Bowl. A GOAT cue then sounds like a llama and finally a sheep before the hosts identify it.
Mike calls Michael Thomas's issue 'a little you-hoo.' When told he may want to retain the word hamstring, Mike says it is no longer necessary because the replacement has now been branded.
After a long anti-Cowboys presentation, Mike asks how much is motivated by his Ezekiel Elliott draft. Jason answers 100 percent and says he did the work that morning to make Mike feel bad. The feud becomes a water bet around RB18 versus RB19, and the hosts briefly reverse which side wins.
The hosts admit Pitts's handsomeness factors into analysis, combine his speed and wingspan into part cheetah and part pterodactyl, then name the creature a cheetahactyl. Jason's Queen character supplies a pterodactyl sound and the desk admits it has lost control.
The next bold prediction cannot begin cleanly because the board cycles Jahan Dotson through Johan Dotnet, Dotting, Totten, John Dodson, and Dodson. When the hosts ask who placed it there, they identify Owl.
After being reminded that he was early, heavy, and hot on Antonio Gibson, Mike admits trading him the previous night. Mike calls himself a coward, loser, and traitor; although Garrett Wilson is judged a good return, Mike says he no longer knows what he is doing and has lost complete control.
While the live microphone is readied, the hosts instruct the audience to cheer for Brooks. A full Brooks chant starts, Brooks appears, and he delivers what the desk requested as the best mailbag drop of the year.
Jared travels from Ohio to 105-degree Phoenix after missing tickets for Detroit. Asked how far that is, Jason offers more than 100 miles, correctly locates Detroit in Michigan, and can place Ohio only somewhere near it.
The hosts define too many leagues as four hours of unwanted Tuesday waiver homework and eventually owning every player, which makes everything good, terrible, and meaningless. Kyle the Borgogon has a household solution: his wife does not let him join a league unless he leaves one, although the desk hopes his initial balance was 50.
Eduardo lists Mahomes, Hurts, Jefferson, and Jonathan Taylor before the desk asks whether he has an actual question. The question is reframed as 'I can't stop winning,' 'do you need a co-manager?' and 'why am I so good?' before Eduardo credits the show.
The recorded episode ends, but the hosts announce they will return within minutes for a text-in AMA with travelers from Phoenix, Ohio, San Francisco, and New Mexico. They explicitly ask the crowd to give it up for Brooks and Al before thanking their home city.
The live Phoenix opening begins before the formal intro: Jason threatens to throw a chair to keep the crowd on its toes, describes taking a dead-end route around the stage, spots the Waffle King, and answers with the King of Waffles. Al cues the produced introduction, and the crowd is called ferocious, sweaty, and smellable. The hosts remember that Andrew Luck retired moments before their previous Phoenix show and that frightening predictions on this exact stage have sometimes come true—or sent the targeted team to a Super Bowl. A visible group of Megalabowl players identifies itself, and one host calls himself a shark. The celebrity-comparison game turns Julio Jones into the Queen of England because both are past their prime and reminders of a former era. Jason later performs an extended Queen voice so unintelligible that the desk asks whether it paid for closed captioning. Show-production history appears when the hosts remember replacing a frightening hype-train drop: listeners heard the train while driving, emailed complaints, and the team's lawyers advised against it. Mike's asthma knowledge creates Team Asba, a good blue inhaler, red garbage, and one cheering Illinois nerd. A space question gives Mike a Dramamine request and the conclusion that zero-gravity vomit is no longer his problem. Jason's 2019 prediction that Tom Brady had reached the beginning of the end is recalled on the same stage; a GOAT sound effect is first mistaken for a llama and then a sheep. Mike rebrands a hamstring injury as 'a little you-hoo' and insists the body part no longer needs to be named. Jason's anti-Cowboys case is exposed as 100 percent motivated by Mike drafting Ezekiel Elliott; the argument becomes a water bet with an 18-versus-19 points-per-game line. Kyle Pitts is handsome, part cheetah and part pterodactyl—a cheetahactyl—and the Queen later supplies a pterodactyl sound. Al is credited when Jahan Dotson's name on the board mutates through Dotnet, Dotting, Totten, and Dodson. Mike then confesses he traded former favorite Antonio Gibson the night before, calls himself a coward, loser, and traitor, admits Garrett Wilson was a good return, and says he has lost control of his life. The crowd chants Brooks while production prepares a microphone, and Brooks delivers the requested best mailbag drop of the year. A listener who flew from Ohio because the Detroit show sold out exposes Jason's rough geography: Detroit is in Michigan and Ohio is merely near it. League overload becomes Tuesday waiver homework and, once every player is rostered somewhere, makes everything good, terrible, and meaningless. Kyle the Borgogan has a marital one-in-one-out rule: he cannot join a league unless he leaves one, though the hosts hope his original balance was 50. A final listener's stacked dynasty roster becomes 'I can't stop winning,' 'why am I so good,' and a co-manager request. The podcast ends by announcing a separate post-show AMA and thanking Brooks and Al to live applause.
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