THE UNOFFICIALFOOTBALLERSFAN ARCHIVE↗Transcript links use the exact YouTube video’s clock. Machine transcripts can contain errors.
Andy and Jason introduce a bear as the third panel presence while explicitly saying Mike is absent; direct video shows the full-size cardboard Jay at Mike's microphone throughout. The next paragraph names Jay Griz, briefly considers him for Monday-best-friend status, and says the Bears' performance has distracted him.
At the close, the hosts say the bear will say goodbye, but the soundboard operator nearly hits the walrus because the two icons look alike and then argues that the studio should acquire an actual walrus.
Will Levis is Banana Rama because he ate a banana with the peel still on; the hosts rule that a defensive lineman may do that, but a quarterback must have his head on straight.
The recurring name ritual moves from Chris Godson and Terry McScoran to negative labels including Calvin Didley, Jackson Smith-Then-Gigbad, Kyler Worried, Yak Prescott, and Zach Lost.
An unlabeled present host wins the League of Record by three after Chris Olave fumbles and exits, Jerome Ford exits, DK Metcalf fails to score, and a Pat Freiermuth touchdown is called back; the hosts call it one of the stankiest wins.
The Ready to Roll transition stops because Andy spills his drink all over himself and is congratulated for forgetting the basic act of drinking.
Producer Al Borland admits that his twelve-point lead against James Cook and the Jets defense makes him want Cook surprisingly inactive; he rejects actual injury but settles on a little sniff that keeps Cook out.
The hosts say naming Laser Mayfield gave Baker more power and may have healed him; later a LASER button repeatedly answers the spoken word while they dispute whether the extra response belongs to the drop.
Three unnamed Deucers fail to notice the hosts addressing them, stare like students praying not to be called on, and are accused of playing World of Warcraft; the glossy-eye joke returns when a later research question goes unanswered.
Jason asks for six months to reach peak athletic condition before an AI-generated NFL appearance, refuses a simple fullback plunge, promises a juke and Big Shimmy shake, and then accepts that he will be laid out while looking motionless on camera.
Spencer Rattler triggers a new 'I got a snake, man' video drop. The hosts celebrate the snake's return, sarcastically praise the advanced CGI, call it bad, and recognize that its quick production consumed one or two nights.
Andy and Jason open with 'a bear' while explicitly saying Mike is absent. Direct video shows the full-size cardboard Jay Griz stationed at Mike's host microphone for the entire episode. Jason is relieved that his temporary Monday-best-friend assignment does not go to Jay, whom the hosts say is distracted by the Bears' big weekend. The goodbye control almost becomes the walrus because its soundboard icon looks too similar; the transcript supports a bear-associated cue, but not the exact 'I'm Jay Griz' theme. Elsewhere Will Levis remains Banana Rama because he once ate a banana with the peel on, a behavior declared acceptable for a defensive lineman but disqualifying for a quarterback. Monday Punday returns with listener-style mutations including Chris Godson, Calvin Didley, Jackson Smith-Then-Gigbad, Kyler Worried, and Yak Prescott. An unidentified host records one of the League of Record's 'stankiest' three-point wins after his opponent loses Chris Olave and Jerome Ford early and has a Freiermuth touchdown called back. Andy then forgets how to drink and spills on himself. Producer Al Borland openly asks for James Cook to be a surprise inactive because he leads by twelve against Cook and the Jets defense; he rejects injury but approves a small cold or 'sniff.' Baker Mayfield's Laser identity returns, and the hosts credit themselves with healing him; an on-desk Laser button appears to answer every time the word is pressed. Three Deucers are later caught staring with glossy eyes instead of researching, compared to inattentive students, and accused of holding a World of Warcraft LAN party. Jason asks AI to simulate him as an NFL runner, requests six months of training, invokes his Big Shimmy identity, promises a juke and shimmy shake, and predicts he will be laid out. A new Spencer Rattler snake video/drop receives delighted praise for its deliberately bad CGI and fast production. Jay remains silent throughout and does not receive a real speaking part.
That is the second behind AJ Brown this week. But that's just nonsense. It's what you talked about. If you go and watch Andy's tweet of the eight targets of Calvin Ridley, there's air yards that are attributed to him because you have to give the target to someone. But when the ball lands eight yards away on the ground, it's just headed your direction. That's an irrelevant play. So, yeah, I mean. Would you, would you cut him down? I think I would be willing to cut him, and here's why. Because he's going to have big games, and you're never going to know. It's impossible to know when, how, or where. So you have to choose to start him. Now, I will say this. In my situation, I've talked about this. Like, I've been ravaged with injuries. You know, I'm starting guys. And more injuries this week. Yes, I'm starting guys off the waivers every single week as like spot starts. So if Calvin Ridley were out there, I would absolutely pick him up and play him.
because he has the ability to go out and catch an 80-yard touchdown to get 12 targets in a game that are maybe more catchable. So I don't think he is an unstartable asset. But if your roster is good and you have to make a decision between him and someone that has a higher baseline, I'm always going to be making the other decision right now. So I don't know, maybe you just look to trade him off of his name, package trade him. You know, you take Calvin Ridley and another running back. and you trade them for just a slight upgrade at the running back. DJ more of the disappointing game. Almost got into the end zone. Roma Dunesay did nothing. It was a Colquemette in Kenan Allen week. Brian Thomas Jr., we saw this coming. You don't throw on Chicago. My original parley part... Tell that to Gabe Davis. Right. My original parley partay was Brian Thomas. It was going to be Brian Thomas under 65 yards. He went three for 27. I ended up just taking the under on Trevor Lawrence, which also barely worked.
thankfully. Christian Kirkoddud as well. Metcalf, we talked about that game already. We also talked about Iyuk. Rashid Shaheed was, he did score a touchdown in special teams. But otherwise, you know, he was a big part of Sunday live that I said, I would binge Shahid for everybody. Because he's got a special rapport with Derek Carr in particular. He got seven targets. He only caught one for 11 yards. Yeah, I would agree. Ratler was interesting with his legs, but he's concerning from a... I got a snake, man. We got a new snake. Oh, of course. He's a rattler. I missed that. Oh, my gosh. The snake is back. I'm so happy about that. We got that little present for you. Oh, that's awesome. And I mean, of course. Yeah. Yeah. Shout out to the biggest loser getting us that video drop quickly. The CGI is so advanced on this. Look at this.
I got a snake, man. That's so bad. That is. That is. That is a night or two. That, yeah, that was, that was a long time. Well, I, Amari Cooper, six targets four for 42. And what, what are you? I need to know from an unbiased source. I have Amari Cooper in two leagues. Amari Cooper's target numbers tell me he's one of the best. Mm-hmm. Amari Cooper through six weeks is D wide receiver 42 on 53 targets. Well, he's catching 45% of them. He's on pace for 150 targets, which makes, he puts me, this is like a, like there's just, like I can't do it. Like if a guy's on pace for 150 targets, the targets are like my favorite number. And so I can't put those players on my bench. I just like, so talk to me. Yeah. Counsel me. Put me on the couch. Tell me what I'm supposed to be doing with a player on pace for 150 targets. You're supposed to be starting those players, which.
You are and you have been and you're going to continue to do. And what you're really doing is you're just waiting for the 70th sack of a game to be the final sack for Baltimore. And then James Winston comes in and I promise you. Like this is, this is Michael Pittman. This is Josh Downs. Right. If James Winston comes into this game, Amari Cooper is going to have an absolutely great fantasy production because. Cooper looks good. We're waiting for the trade too. Oh, sure. Yeah. We could trade Cooper elsewhere. If he becomes a chief, that will be great. I mean, Cooper's, Cooper is not bad. Deshawn Watson is bad. Let me read you a staff from Field Yates. He put this out there on Twitter. The Browns have now become the first team in 10 years to score under 20 points in each of the first six games of the season. The Cleveland Browns have now scored once in the last how many drives. Take a guess.
Drives? One time in the last, you want me to just tell you? Yeah. 29. I was going to guess 30. I wish I didn't have you tell me. Do you want to guess again? 30. Nope, 29. Ah, darn it. So they are inept, and Cooper's getting targets. And they keep coming out after every game and saying, answering the immediate question that everyone wants to know is Deshawn Watson still your starter, and they are adamant. Deshawn Watson is our starting quarter. Would you rather have Will Levis or Deshawn Watson as the quarterback of your team for next week? Oh my gosh. Deshaun Watson. He's won games. But I don't want it. If it's my franchise, I wouldn't have Deshaun Watson there. Nick Chubb. Yes, Nick Chubb, quarterback. I think I'd put myself in. Would you? I think you have to. Well, there was a third and two where Marry Cooper was running a drag across the front, right behind the line of scrimmage. And there wasn't a defender within.
10 yards of him in any direction. And if Watson hits him, two, two yard pass. If Watson hits him, he picks up the first down, he probably runs for 20, 25 yards. And he puts it like somewhere where a, you know, back hip, impossible to catch ball. Did you want to pull your hair out? Darnal Mooney, after the big week last week, just five targets, three for 38. It was a disappointing performance in a game where you thought he'd get more targets. Jake Ferguson, we talked about it, a dud. The buy week's coming up, and so you can do what you want there if you think the offense is going to get fixed. If not, go get Cole Komet, although that's going into the buy, but Kemet could be a pivot option. David Njoku, pay attention to Njoku. He's large, and he's close to the line of scrimmage, and those are two potential benefits for Deshaun Watson. Tucker Kraft, this one let people down.
Yeah, I mean, Tucker Kraft looked like the, you know, the fix, the salve for your tight-in position after being the tight-in two and the tight-in one. We thought we had some. I still think you do have something there. I mean, this game, it was seven to nothing, which is a close game. That's a single-score game. That's beginning of the game. And while it was seven to nothing, you were in Slack tweeting how. how manhandled we were getting as speaking of the Cardinals. Like it wasn't what the score said. It was a lopsided affair from Snap 1 when it was zero to zero. Yeah, but you want him to be part of the lopside. But you can't always be. So like, like for instance, Mooney, you know, or Kirk Cousins. Kirk Cousins had a down game, but he didn't at all. Their offense churned.
Not everyone can get a piece of the pie always when Bijon scores two touchdowns and Tyler Alger scores a touchdown. I get that, but we're at the stage with Tucker Craft where we're trying to develop some sort of confidence level week to week. And so, you know, if you get a down week, it's easy to start thinking, well, you know, they didn't have Dobbs. They didn't have Watson. We're at the stage with tight ends that you can go, well, I don't have anyone else. So. Okay. Friar Muth, two for 16. Touchdown call back. And that'll do it. All right, waivers tomorrow, Jason, waivers, streamers, Mike back in the building. The bear will say goodbye. I almost hit the walrus again. That walrus is the same. We've got to get a walrus in here. The same, the icon looks too similar for me. I'm having trouble. Waivers, streamers, tomorrow, Mike back in the building. We'll talk about it. Get you ready for week seven. Monday night, football the night. Yeah.
If you want to root for Al Borland, you know, it's a down game for James Cook. Is that what you need? Yes, sir. Goodbye, everybody. Thank you for listening to another episode of the Fantasy Footballers podcast. Join our fantasy football community on join thefoot.com. And follow us on Twitter at the FF ballers.