THE UNOFFICIALFOOTBALLERSFAN ARCHIVE↗Transcript links use the exact YouTube video’s clock. Machine transcripts can contain errors.
Mike says he spent the weekend at a punk music festival, where spotty service spared him the live Cardinals collapse while messages from the hosts, school friends, and his father exploded his phone.
The hosts sarcastically claim to be above early-season emotion, immediately followed by one wanting to knock down the Chase statue in front of him. Published frames show several desk football figures, but the exact Chase object is identified by dialogue rather than safely resolved visually.
Rather than benching a player and hurting the team, the hosts propose discipline through carrying luggage, taking out garbage, serving as a butler, doing socks, and washing laundry. Direct video confirms no punishment is performed on the show.
The Cardinals collapse sends everyone—including Kyler and Marv—into the sun. A play that no coach or quarterback can change makes the staff qualified to run a whole Chick-fil-A, while the fandom debate says Arizona natives were born on the Titanic: Jason's side must go down with the ship, and Mike is accused of cowardly future bandwagoning before Tampa Bay is selected as a second team.
The sight of Brett Rypien on a depth chart immediately revives Brett Rippin' Farts. Minutes later Jacoby Brissett becomes Jacoby Beef Brisket after the hosts ask where the beef is.
After Cam Skattebo pancakes a lineman, the hosts say something is wrong with him in the best way, call him a crayon eater who found his sport, and add that he definitely ate paint chips as a child.
Papa Josh audibly confirms trading Ja'Marr Chase for Quentin Johnston while the camera stays on the hosts. Later Kyle performs a ten-year day-two-running-back lookup and puts the statistic in the shared show document without a producer cutaway.
Mason Taylor's twelve targets trigger meows and 'disgusting, cowardly kitty cat points.' Because the Jets play in London, the hosts imagine his pet-transport requirements: certificates, rabies proof, Benadryl, quarantine, and the climate-controlled luggage compartment.
The waiver block ends with the recurring Full Stream Ahead cue. Direct video audit confirms animated tracks, the hosts riding a train through smoke, and a Full Stream Ahead monitor graphic when the desk returns.
All three hosts are at the desk. Mike reports missing the Cardinals game while attending a weekend punk festival with unreliable service and an exploding phone. The show's claim to emotional level-headedness immediately collapses when a host wants to knock down the Chase statue in front of him; direct published frames show several football figures on the desk but do not safely isolate which one is Chase, so that identification remains dialogue-based. The hosts reject benching useful players as discipline and instead imagine luggage duty, garbage, butler service, socks, and laundry; direct video shows this is talk at the desk, not an enacted punishment. Arizona's loss sends everyone into the sun, turns the Cardinals staff into a Chick-fil-A crew that cannot change a doomed play, and revives the hosts' fandom as a Titanic: Jason and another loyalist insist they must go down with the ship while Mike is accused of cowardly future bandwagoning and nominates Tampa Bay as a second team. Brett Rippin' Farts returns, Jacoby Brissett becomes Jacoby Beef Brisket, and Cam Skattebo's crayon-eater persona is reinforced. Papa Josh audibly confirms trading Ja'Marr Chase for Quentin Johnston; direct frames remain on the three hosts, so he is an off-camera producer voice. Kyle supplies a day-two-running-back lookup through the show document without a visible cutaway. Mason Taylor becomes a meowing cowardly kitty cat who needs rabies papers, Benadryl, quarantine, and luggage-compartment travel for London. Full Stream Ahead closes under its confirmed published train animation.
Again, spot start category to me. A great Cincinnati Arizona the next two weeks. A lot of bi-week guys get dropped, but let's talk about Ryan Flannoy. Wide receiver for Dallas 114 yard game. Dak is playing as good as any quarterback in football, not named Baker Mayfield. You're freaking MVP. Yeah, I was going to say he would, he would, if, if the season was over today, he would be the MVP. So Jason, you made that, you made that, you made the comment about like, why do you do this to yourself? Why are you a fan of the Cardinals? I will and can not ever abandon my team.
I fundamentally don't believe in that. I think you gotta, I'm with you, Jay. You gotta go, you gotta go down with the ship for the chance that you get pulled out. No, no, no. Cause I want the glory. I want the glory. Even if I'm 70 years old and I'll be like, I was a fan for 50. You think if they, if they're good again, I'm not just jumping right back in? Of course I am. Yeah, but I'll know that you were the coward. Oh no. You'll feel real bad, Mike. You'll feel so bad. You guys have no pride. No, it is pride.
It is the pride in myself. If I was. My money. My time. You guys are on the wrong end of this. My time. Your time is the most valuable thing in the entire world. And they are wasting it. You don't have to watch it. You just can't switch teams. That's all I'm saying. Would you rather be Jack or Rose? Is this a Titanic? This is a Titanic thing. Because one of them went down with the ship. And the other one survived. And she told the stories of how, oh man, I was on that terrible thing. But she was an old lady living.
I don't want to be on the Titanic at all. That's where we were born. We were born in Arizona or close enough. That's where we live. We're on the Titanic. All of this was to say, if I could pick another team, it would be freaking Tampa Bay and Baker Mayfield. For sure. Between him and Ibuka. They are everyone's favorite second place team right now. Ryan Flannoy. Name. Ryan Flannoy is. Not very many of us are familiar with. No. Sixth round pick in 2024. But it was kind of a breakout game for him. It was. Nine targets. It's. We've. We've had enough Jalen Tolbert to know.
That he's not it. Exactly. Right. And then. And then Turpin. Turpin. Turpin got hurt. And he got hurt. But it doesn't even matter. Turpin is very much a. He's a gadgetry. Special teams. Get the ball in his hands. Maybe something happens. I think it matters in terms of snaps. That. Well. Maybe not. Maybe not anymore. Maybe. Yeah. But who was the. I was going to say. We had a Dallas Cowboy. Years ago. Be the. The week one sensation. Oh. I was thinking of LaVisca. In the same. No. Type of situation. Ogletree. Yeah. It was Ogletree. Ogletree. For this team. For the Cowboys.
I think it was three touchdowns in week one. Did nothing else. Like. Is this a. Is this something to be chased. Go after. Is this a product of. That. I don't think it's going to be long. Pickens is seeing. Sauce. And so. The Jets are just not good. Other than that. It's just a player you could tuck away for no. Almost no fab. I. Yeah. I mean. This to me is. I would rather have this be more of a spot start. Because CeeDee Lamb is gone. Turpin is injured. And Jalen Tolbert doesn't have it. So you've got Pickens. And they need someone else.
And so. I think that's. That's where. You know. He shined. And you might get another week out of that. You know. They're playing Carolina. It's a fine matchup. I don't expect CeeDee Lamb this week. But as soon as CeeDee Lamb is back. Like he's not a stash to me. Right. Because when Lamb is back. Lamb and Pickens are going to take the targets. You did see. Three for 90 for Tyquan Thornton. He keeps kind of getting it done for Kansas City. Another spot start. There's not a big like. Add and play every week. Name. Including Bourne. Including Dobbs. I mean.
Dobbs has never been that. So. There isn't a name jumping out to me. Unless you see one. Dobbs might be. I mean. He is probably my number one pick. But honestly. Alec Pierce is maybe a name that should be talked about. Because. He has the potential to have. Like this is the type of player. I am completely with you Jason. It's not. You know. Oh. You've got to have him. But if you've got bye weeks. If you've got injuries. And you're like. I have to start someone off of waivers. I have to actually put them. Not just on my roster.
And that's who I get after fab. But I've got to find someone on waivers. That I'm going to put in my lineup. Like I've got Travis Hunter. I had to play Travis Hunter this week. I would much rather play Alec Pierce over Travis Hunter. Alec Pierce coming off of an injury though. It was a concussion. Concussion. Okay. So he's not. He's not dealing with. You know. You heard it here first. Not considered an injury to these two gentlemen. No. It is. A very serious injury. But it is not a you'll be slow for two weeks. You will be full speed.
Yeah. Honestly I'm just not wildly excited about the wide receivers. Isaiah Bond is getting the snaps and the targets. And he will for a long time. Cedric Tillman's not coming off the buy. Or sorry. Off the injury list for at least. I mean week 10 is the earliest. So Isaiah Bond will have a lot of opportunity. And Jerry Judy's bad at football. So just pay attention there. If he gets 30 targets. I would say the guy who probably. Like I would start over Alec Pierce. Who I just made a case for. Who's still available in the vast majority of leagues.
You talked about it. But Taequann Thornton is. He is. He is involved. They're playing the Lions. This week. Like that's going to be. You know. A lot of points. They've got a 51 point over under right now. And so. Will Patrick Mahomes have a bomb in this game? Probably one. And it'll probably be Thornton. All right. Drop candidates. Matthew Golden. I would not. Don't do that. I wouldn't do it. Jerry Judy. Sure. I would hold on to him one more week. You missed Alec Iomanure. No. I heard it. Oh did you? I heard it. That's good stuff. You can drop him because Titans.
Yeah. Jameson Williams. I still would not. Keon Coleman. Yeah. That's the only. I. I mean given. I mean if he was out on the waiver wire compared to that list I'd pick up Keon Coleman. Exactly. Given the list of wide receivers. Would I drop. What if I told you. Keon Coleman to pick up a Michael Carter. Oh yeah. Sure. But I'm not dropping Keon Coleman for all these wide receivers we're talking about. Three of five matchups of the year. 26 or fewer receiving yards. He is. That team is a roulette. Yeah. If you needed him to catch a bunch of passes like in week one he'll do it.
They needed him to catch passes last week. Well I mean he did it. He caught a touchdown. Yeah. So I mean look. I don't feel like. He caught a touchdown and still ended up with eight points. You betcha. Good lord. Seven targets and a touchdown. Oh yeah. Seven targets. And a touchdown. Eight fantasy points. I mean that. Nice. Was there other than Kincaid? I don't know if you were happy with a Buffalo Bill last week. All right. We'll take a break. We'll talk tight ends. Defenses. Quarterbacks. Foot Clan. The season. Look. It's underway Al. The season is underway. You got those rankings.
Those sleepers. You got the can't miss picks. We've got it all laid out on the line. I don't know if you're ready for that. But the best fantasy team out there. We still need a backup. Because sometimes the starters, they don't show up. We know this. Wouldn't it be great if you could have the same peace of mind everywhere else? With Progressive, you get more than just a policy. You get a playbook full of coverage options that you can count on for your home and for your auto. Want to customize that protection? Not a problem. You can build your coverage just like you build your fantasy team.
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Like, it was sounding great from the reporters, and then Shanahan cold-watered us. Last week, we told you, pick up Mason Taylor this week. 12 targets. Meow. Nine catches, 67 yards. Meow. He was targeted so much. Yeah? So, it's a very good sign with Justin Fields. Two weeks back with Justin Fields, two weeks of Mason Taylor emerging. They don't have other pass catchers. Just take your disgusting, cowardly kitty cat points. Yeah, there you go. He's the cowardly lion. Is that it? Maybe. If I was to have, like... If you had your tight end group, you'd probably want Mason Taylor. Yes, the breakaway, you know, not everyone can be a George Kittle, you know, a Travis
Kelsey in his prime. A dog. Yeah, not everyone can do it. But at that position, a Zach Ertz can get it done, you know what I mean? You guys are so rude to Mason Taylor. This is a young, athletic, talented... Son of a Hall of Famer. He's very talented. I'm trying to speak his praises here. No, you said... You just compared him to Zach Ertz. Does not speak... Zach Ertz is 400 years old. Mason Taylor's in his early 20s. Yeah, Zach Ertz was always... Zach Ertz was always... It's not... No, he wasn't always. He is a brilliant kitty cat. Like, he knows where to go.
Yeah. He is a pro's pro. Zach Ertz has always been. Zach Ertz was... You're putting Mason Taylor in too small a box. That's all I'm saying. You're putting Zach Ertz in too small a box. Zach Ertz was great. No, Zach Ertz was outstanding, but he was much more athletic and more capable of yards after the catch when he was younger. Box size TBD for Mason Taylor. Yeah, TBD. That's fine. You don't need to put it. I'm just saying he's performing and doing the most he can do with what he gets from... Oh, he's doing the most he could possibly do.
His routes that he's catching are sit-down routes. My point is, Zach Ertz... Stop talking about Zach Ertz. No, no. He was great. This is a guy who was like 10 and a half a catch, 10 a catch, 10.4, 9.4. During those numbers I just said. Tight end 9, 6, 3, 2, 5. Like, that's how he profiles to be. He's smart. He knows where to go. He can get the targets. He's going to catch it. He doesn't have to break tackles or have a dog in him. That's all I'm saying. Do you want to play Mason Taylor this week or Jake Tonjes McBasketball, who gets to take
on Tampa Bay, 11 targets, 7 for 41 with the score this past week? I'd probably play Tonjes because he's got a better chance of scoring. And why is that? Because he's got a quarterback. A real quarterback. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Justin Fields sucks. Justin Fields is electric in the fourth quarter. Oh, my gosh. Just, oh, that garbage. I want, it's so tasty. I want George Kittle back so bad. Jake, Jake Tonjes. Oh, the Jets game is in London. Tonjes McBasketball is the tight end. What are the rules about transporting felines to overseas? You probably need certificates and everything. Yeah, you got to have some.
Proof of rabies shot. I think if you just give him Benadryl, he should be able to make the flight. You normally need to have him quarantined for a while. You guys are psychos. He'll be down with the luggage. He'll be fine. Did you know. It's climate controlled. Did you know A.J. Barnard has three top ten weeks in five weeks? I did not realize that. Did you know he had. I know he had the two touchdowns. Seven catches last week on seven targets. That's. He scored in three or four weeks in a row. It's interesting. I was just about to say Tonjes McBasketball is the tight end ten on the season right now.
Barnard, tight end nine. They're getting it done. And I will say that if you want to talk quarterback, I am more confident in Sam Darnold than either of the San Francisco guys right now. Because while they're getting it done, Brock is injured and Mack is a weirdo. So he's played great. Juwan Johnson. People want to know if you can drop him for Mason Taylor. I would drop him for Mason Taylor. If you really need a tight end. But Juwan, again, playing the game. If Juwan were on the waiver wire right now, he would be a priority add for me. Well, he always has been for you, though.
Yeah. I would rather have Juwan than Mason Taylor. Juwan Johnson has not been. He had a couple of bad weeks in a row. Yeah. Not been good. But I believe that everyone we're talking about, including Mason Taylor, they're going to be kind of streaming spot starts. There's very few tight ends in the league that are just. You lock him in. Well, the targets were there for Juwan Johnson in the beginning of the year. Neither one of those guys is getting ten targets every single week. Okay. Yeah. I like Mason Taylor more. Theo Johnson got into the end zone twice. And they need him with Darius Slayton.
But I think he's a scary, terrifying player. He is a scary start. He doesn't put any yards up. No. Not at all. For being the most athletic tight end in history, he really doesn't do a lot with that athleticism. But the opportunity should be there. He still had seven targets. I mean, Slayton. Jackson dart games. Five targets. Seven targets. And. It hasn't turned into production. No neighbors. Well, it did this last week. Two touchdowns. Yeah. I meant yards. You know. I don't know. Theo is. I would throw Theo on my. Yeah. On my back. I'll take Mason Taylor over. Do you want.
And you probably go Theo over Tonjes. No. McBasketball. Just for long term. Oh. If you were looking long term. Yeah. On a flyer. Yeah. I don't look long term at tight end unless it's like two or three names. It's just. Including Jawan Johnson. Like I. I'm just going to play the best player that week. Things are changing so quick. I. I would agree. But if you have. If you're doing the thing where you're playing Jawan Johnson one week. Or Zach Ertz one week. Or Mark Andrews one week. At that point. I do think Mason Taylor and Theo Johnson. Those guys should be picked up as a second tight end.
In hopes. That they can. In you know. Their. Their early career. You know. Rookie and a second year player. Develop into the. Number two target for their franchise. Defenses this week. There's quite a few that have good. Good matchups. The Patriots have the Saints in New Orleans. They're. Stashed them. Playing great. The Colts. Have the Cardinals. At home. The Browns. Actually Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh has the Browns. That's the one that I'm more interested in. Although you can play both sides of it. I like the Pittsburgh side more. It's in Pittsburgh. Their defense has been outrageously good for two consecutive weeks. And they get the face of rookie and Dylan Gabriel.
They didn't move the ball tremendously well. They. They had. What? They scored two times. I was saying it's a thirty seven and a half. I like. I like both sides. But I like. I like Pittsburgh way more. Yeah. I mean. There's so many teams. The Rams had such a bad outing last week. But they go to Baltimore. That is. Snoop. Yeah. Snoop Dogg. You're going to do it again. Pro Bowl. The Las Vegas Raiders play Tennessee by the way. And they're going to put pressure on Cam Ward all day long. Yeah. I'm. I'm perfectly fine with the Raiders. So. That would be another one.
And then just keep an eye on your league for the Packers if they were dropped on the buy. Because they play Cincinnati and they're favored by 175 points. I'll take. I'll. You're going to take it over. Yeah. No. I'll let them cover. Oh. Okay. That was this week's waiver wire presented by Walmart. Who knew you can get what you need in as fast as an hour. Get free delivery on your first express delivery order with the code express. Valid for first express delivery order. $50 minimum subject to availability. Restrictions apply. Full stream ahead. Well this could be me this week.
I don't know. Depending on what Kyler Murray. He probably shouldn't be in my lineup anyways. But what happens with his foot. We'll see. Streaming quarterback options for the week. You need a spot start. There are some good ones out there. I think. For me it's insert 49ers quarterback. I think the matchup against Tampa Bay and the fact that they can't run the football the way that they've been running it in the past. You've seen good fantasy weeks from Mac Jones. Good ones from Brock Purdy. Whoever starts for San Francisco is my stream of the week. Yeah. I'm going to go with Matthew Stafford.
He's leading the entire NFL in passing yards right now. And he gets the Baltimore matchup that we just saw CJ Stroud go ham. Man. They have. I know their injuries. It's just it's sad to see. If Stafford gets to play a college team. Which right now it feels like you're just playing backups. It's pretty easy. You look at what they've given up on the season. They let Patrick Mahomes score three more points on his average. Stroud scored more than his average. Everyone who plays him has basically done well except for the Lions. And Stafford's been pretty on fire. I think the Devontae Adams around the goal line has really helped his fantasy output.