Hue Jackson, greatest coach, scares the desk
A prerecorded Hue Jackson introduction identifies him as head coach and 'the greatest coach of all time.' The live welcome immediately admits the forgotten clip scared someone.
Main show · October 27, 2022
Starts of the Week + Week 8 Breakdown, Kadarius Toney Traded! - Fantasy Football Podcast for 10/27
Original source
Starts of the Week + Week 8 Breakdown, Kadarius Toney Traded! - Fantasy Football Podcast for 10/27
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Episode notes & curated moments 13 records
Optimism floods the Brawny-only kitchen
Choosing optimism about Thursday football overfills the half-full glass until water covers a messy kitchen. The spill is so large that only Brawny, not cheap off-brand paper towels, can handle it, though the brand is repeatedly declared not a sponsor.
The all-black Deucers find slimming camouflage
The opening says all three hosts and the Deucers are in the building, then notices that the unusually large number of black shirts is slimming. The transcript never enumerates which crew members are physically included in that collective.
PHOMA makes trades contagious
Recent dynasty deals give Brooksie and Papa Josh trade FOMO that mutates into 'phoma' and 'foam.' The hosts prescribe starting a stagnant league with one deliberately bad trade—taking one for the league—because two more will follow, and a new deal makes everyone crack their knuckles as trades go 'afloan.'
Never Not Working straps on cake forks
Never Not Working calls favorable remaining schedules the 'cakeiest walk forward.' The desk literalizes the phrase into trudging through icing and unstable sponge, then invents cake shoes that are simply forks attached to the feet.
The Gus Bus issues a majestic pass and 22 drops
Mike is asked whether he is hopping on the Gus Bus and whether he has his pass; the object is described as a majestic piece. The prior night's Spotify Live Room reportedly fired 22 Gus Bus drops. A nearby credit rendered as 'Matthew, Florida' is not securely attributable to Matthew Betz.
Al Borland steals Brooksie's thirty-second Ravens Watch
Brooksie is assigned Ravens updates and Kareem Hunt Watch, but the Mark Andrews and Rashod Bateman update is explicitly credited to Al Borland instead. Ravens Watch closes almost immediately because the information is only about thirty seconds old. Later, Matthew Betz contributes a clinical explanation of Ezekiel Elliott's knee pain.
Folgers with high-knee Napoleon Dynamite
The London kickoff becomes a Folgers commercial whose best part of waking up is watching Russell Wilson, followed by 'Dangerous.' The hosts then dwell on Wilson doing high knees on the team plane, happily recounting it to reporters, failing to perceive teammates' reactions, and resembling Napoleon Dynamite.
Olave, Michael Thomas, Greggie, and Rahim enter the wordplay mill
The player discussion repeatedly mutates names and identities: Chris Olave becomes an Ole chant, Michael Thomas becomes a verb for sabotaging a situation, Greg Dulcich becomes Greg D and Greggie inside 'sending in the D,' and Raheem Mostert receives the health-qualified rhyme Rahim the Dream.
Kadarius Toney breaks the buttons and opens the waivers
The Chiefs' Kadarius Toney trade breaks live and sends the desk searching for the breaking-news button. An unnamed dynasty roster sings in the streets, the first tweet briefly appears missing, and the hosts cross-check Underdog NFL, The Score, PFN/Fabiano, Jordan Schultz, and other reporting while asking for a transaction alert to calm Mike. Toney's 37 hamstring injuries are invoked before listeners receive a theatrical pause to check waivers. The League of Record check associates him with Gabe, and a family league's open waivers produce an immediate grab and 'What a turd.' The intervening 'Thanks, Jay' is unresolved and not evidence of Jay Griz.
DJ Moore requires steel underpants
An unnamed host calls starting DJ Moore a 'steel underpants play,' reusing the show's physical protection scale for a recommendation that requires extra confidence.
Boom Boom rhymes Hardy with Hardy before the Wheel
Jason's ironclad, locked-and-loaded, 100% guaranteed Boom Boom Kicker of the Week names Bills kicker Tyler Bass through a verse that pairs body 'hardy' with actor Tom Hardy. Mike is addressed as the desk objects that Hardy was rhymed with Hardy; Jason insists the words differ, and the Harty dispute survives to the final goodbye. The desk also previews the next day's Wheel of Shame, while an unlabeled host says he will not get shamed.
Episode notes
A prerecorded Hue Jackson introduction calls him the greatest coach of all time and startles the live desk. Thursday-night optimism then overflows its glass, floods a messy kitchen, and supposedly requires Brawny because cheap paper towels cannot absorb it. All three hosts and the Deucers are in the building, where the black-shirt count is called slimming. Dynasty trades give Brooksie and Papa Josh FOMO that mutates into 'phoma' and 'foam'; the hosts advise sacrificing one bad trade for the league, after which one host cracks his knuckles because trades are afloat. Never Not Working turns a favorable schedule into a cake walk so literal that forks must be strapped to the hosts' feet as cake shoes. The Gus Bus has a physical pass described as a majestic piece, and the preceding Spotify Live Room used 22 Gus Bus drops. Brooksie is assigned Ravens and Kareem Hunt watches, answers that he is watching, but Al Borland supplies a Mark Andrews and Rashod Bateman update roughly thirty seconds after it exists. Matthew Betz later supplies Ezekiel Elliott injury context. Russell Wilson's London game becomes a Folgers wake-up parody before his airplane high knees and happy retelling of the stunt make the hosts compare him to Napoleon Dynamite. Player language mutates throughout the show: Chris Olave gets an Ole chant, Michael Thomas becomes a verb, Greg Dulcich becomes Greg D and Greggie, and Raheem Mostert becomes Rahim the Dream. The central live event is the Chiefs' Kadarius Toney trade: a dynasty roster sings in the streets, the desk briefly fears the tweet vanished, checks several reporting sources, asks listeners to pause for waivers, finds Toney associated with Gabe in the League of Record, and triggers an open-waiver grab in a family league. That last exchange contains an isolated 'Thanks, Jay,' but the unlabeled transcript cannot distinguish a short form of Jason from Jay Griz or another referent, so it is not counted as Jay Griz evidence. DJ Moore is a steel-underpants start, reinforcing the confidence-underpants bit. Jason closes with his ironclad Boom Boom Kicker verse for Tyler Bass, then argues that 'hardy' and 'Hardy' are different rhymes while the next day's Wheel of Shame is previewed.
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