Hue Jackson, greatest coach, scares the desk
A prerecorded Hue Jackson introduction identifies him as head coach and 'the greatest coach of all time.' The live welcome immediately admits the forgotten clip scared someone.
Main show · October 27, 2022
Starts of the Week + Week 8 Breakdown, Kadarius Toney Traded! - Fantasy Football Podcast for 10/27
Original source
Starts of the Week + Week 8 Breakdown, Kadarius Toney Traded! | Fantasy Football 2022 - Ep. 1318
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Episode notes & curated moments 13 records
Optimism floods the Brawny-only kitchen
Choosing optimism about Thursday football overfills the half-full glass until water covers a messy kitchen. The spill is so large that only Brawny, not cheap off-brand paper towels, can handle it, though the brand is repeatedly declared not a sponsor.
The all-black Deucers find slimming camouflage
The opening says all three hosts and the Deucers are in the building, then notices that the unusually large number of black shirts is slimming. The transcript never enumerates which crew members are physically included in that collective.
PHOMA makes trades contagious
Recent dynasty deals give Brooksie and Papa Josh trade FOMO that mutates into 'phoma' and 'foam.' The hosts prescribe starting a stagnant league with one deliberately bad trade—taking one for the league—because two more will follow, and a new deal makes everyone crack their knuckles as trades go 'afloan.'
Never Not Working straps on cake forks
Never Not Working calls favorable remaining schedules the 'cakeiest walk forward.' The desk literalizes the phrase into trudging through icing and unstable sponge, then invents cake shoes that are simply forks attached to the feet.
The Gus Bus issues a majestic pass and 22 drops
Mike is asked whether he is hopping on the Gus Bus and whether he has his pass; the object is described as a majestic piece. The prior night's Spotify Live Room reportedly fired 22 Gus Bus drops. A nearby credit rendered as 'Matthew, Florida' is not securely attributable to Matthew Betz.
Al Borland steals Brooksie's thirty-second Ravens Watch
Brooksie is assigned Ravens updates and Kareem Hunt Watch, but the Mark Andrews and Rashod Bateman update is explicitly credited to Al Borland instead. Ravens Watch closes almost immediately because the information is only about thirty seconds old. Later, Matthew Betz contributes a clinical explanation of Ezekiel Elliott's knee pain.
Folgers with high-knee Napoleon Dynamite
The London kickoff becomes a Folgers commercial whose best part of waking up is watching Russell Wilson, followed by 'Dangerous.' The hosts then dwell on Wilson doing high knees on the team plane, happily recounting it to reporters, failing to perceive teammates' reactions, and resembling Napoleon Dynamite.
Olave, Michael Thomas, Greggie, and Rahim enter the wordplay mill
The player discussion repeatedly mutates names and identities: Chris Olave becomes an Ole chant, Michael Thomas becomes a verb for sabotaging a situation, Greg Dulcich becomes Greg D and Greggie inside 'sending in the D,' and Raheem Mostert receives the health-qualified rhyme Rahim the Dream.
Kadarius Toney breaks the buttons and opens the waivers
The Chiefs' Kadarius Toney trade breaks live and sends the desk searching for the breaking-news button. An unnamed dynasty roster sings in the streets, the first tweet briefly appears missing, and the hosts cross-check Underdog NFL, The Score, PFN/Fabiano, Jordan Schultz, and other reporting while asking for a transaction alert to calm Mike. Toney's 37 hamstring injuries are invoked before listeners receive a theatrical pause to check waivers. The League of Record check associates him with Gabe, and a family league's open waivers produce an immediate grab and 'What a turd.' The intervening 'Thanks, Jay' is unresolved and not evidence of Jay Griz.
DJ Moore requires steel underpants
An unnamed host calls starting DJ Moore a 'steel underpants play,' reusing the show's physical protection scale for a recommendation that requires extra confidence.
Boom Boom rhymes Hardy with Hardy before the Wheel
Jason's ironclad, locked-and-loaded, 100% guaranteed Boom Boom Kicker of the Week names Bills kicker Tyler Bass through a verse that pairs body 'hardy' with actor Tom Hardy. Mike is addressed as the desk objects that Hardy was rhymed with Hardy; Jason insists the words differ, and the Harty dispute survives to the final goodbye. The desk also previews the next day's Wheel of Shame, while an unlabeled host says he will not get shamed.
Episode notes
A prerecorded Hue Jackson introduction calls him the greatest coach of all time and startles the live desk. Thursday-night optimism then overflows its glass, floods a messy kitchen, and supposedly requires Brawny because cheap paper towels cannot absorb it. All three hosts and the Deucers are in the building, where the black-shirt count is called slimming. Dynasty trades give Brooksie and Papa Josh FOMO that mutates into 'phoma' and 'foam'; the hosts advise sacrificing one bad trade for the league, after which one host cracks his knuckles because trades are afloat. Never Not Working turns a favorable schedule into a cake walk so literal that forks must be strapped to the hosts' feet as cake shoes. The Gus Bus has a physical pass described as a majestic piece, and the preceding Spotify Live Room used 22 Gus Bus drops. Brooksie is assigned Ravens and Kareem Hunt watches, answers that he is watching, but Al Borland supplies a Mark Andrews and Rashod Bateman update roughly thirty seconds after it exists. Matthew Betz later supplies Ezekiel Elliott injury context. Russell Wilson's London game becomes a Folgers wake-up parody before his airplane high knees and happy retelling of the stunt make the hosts compare him to Napoleon Dynamite. Player language mutates throughout the show: Chris Olave gets an Ole chant, Michael Thomas becomes a verb, Greg Dulcich becomes Greg D and Greggie, and Raheem Mostert becomes Rahim the Dream. The central live event is the Chiefs' Kadarius Toney trade: a dynasty roster sings in the streets, the desk briefly fears the tweet vanished, checks several reporting sources, asks listeners to pause for waivers, finds Toney associated with Gabe in the League of Record, and triggers an open-waiver grab in a family league. That last exchange contains an isolated 'Thanks, Jay,' but the unlabeled transcript cannot distinguish a short form of Jason from Jay Griz or another referent, so it is not counted as Jay Griz evidence. DJ Moore is a steel-underpants start, reinforcing the confidence-underpants bit. Jason closes with his ironclad Boom Boom Kicker verse for Tyler Bass, then argues that 'hardy' and 'Hardy' are different rhymes while the next day's Wheel of Shame is previewed.
Inside the episode
66 passagesHe's been one of those players. You're playing the matchup every week. This is a put them in. And I've got Devin Singletary against the Green Bay Packers. Oh, I hope you're right. Over the last month, Green Bay is 25th in schedule adjusted points to the running back position. The last time we saw Singletary, it was a 22 opportunity game. Three of the last four games, he has seen at least five targets. Singletary is getting worked into B, you know, Belcowie, as Jason would say. All right. Wide receiver, Crystal Lave, start of the week against a very vulnerable defense, and he's just that good. Over his last four starts on pace for 170 targets, 100 receptions, 1,500 receiving yards, eight touchdowns, has not finished outside the top 16 in any of those games, despite one of them being knocked out with a concussion. He is a great. He's not good, but great player. It's great. And the Raiders live.
Their defensive lies for one purpose, which is giving up points to the opposing team. They do it so well. At wide receiver, I'm going with T. Higgins. Higgins should be back to full health now. He dealt with that ankle injury. He's due for a big game. He is due for a big game because Joe Burrow is airing it out, having monstrous performances. The Cleveland matchup is great. The last two weeks, even while T. Higgins might not have been fully healthy, 17 targets. So yeah, it's due. I think the big week is this one. And I'm going, it's a little bit of a steel underpants play. I understand that, but it's DJ Moore against the Atlanta Falcons. Last week against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, he turned in a 48% target share because there's no one else to throw the ball to for PJ Walker. Atlanta is the best wide receiver matchup currently, and those targets will be afloat. How dare you?
How dare I? How dare you besmirch Terrace Marshall Jr's name? Oh, he did that. Don't blame me. Shout out to Wondale Robinson. Sure. After this Tony trade as well. The backup winner? Yeah, I mean, he was already getting involved and we're not waiting for Tony to come back. Yeah, he's definitely a winner in this scenario. And Galaday doesn't come back. So they've got what they have at wide receiver. Yeah. And Wondale's leading the way. So my tight end, if he plays, which he should play, because he hasn't been practicing, but he's been playing. T.J. Hawkinson against Miami, great opportunity at home to get back on the right path for the offense. Hawkinson, you brought off Khalif Raymond's name because of the injuries and the problems they have at pass catcher positions in Detroit. Hawkinson will have that opportunity.
I'm going with Irv Smith, Jr., my favorite start this week. I always start the tight ends against Arizona and Seattle right now. Arizona's 31st against tight ends. If you adjust for schedule, they're 31st against tight ends. They just stink. Players who've had big games against them, Kelsey, obviously, Waller, Higby, Goddard, Joanne Johnson. Yeah, baby. Even Tommy Trimble had his most targets, receptions, and yards of the season against Arizona. Irv Smith has worked into some game plans more so than others. They're going to work them in this week. And I'm going to Mike Gassicki against the Detroit Lions. This is the third best matchup for the tight end position. We laid out there is a high chance of a shootout here with a 51.5 over under. And he has seen his targets per route run increased in three straight weeks. They are starting to get him more involved. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. Jason Moore's Ironclad, locked and loaded, 100% guaranteed boom, boom, kicker of the week.
Fully formed from the sun. I began to run, and I don't want to sound too crass, but my body was hardy, looking like Tom Hardy while playing the Bills Tyler Bass. Yes, Mike. Okay. It was, it was a Hardy, Hardy. You rhymed Hardy with Hardy. Hartee with Hardy. Those are two different words, young man. Yeah, but Mike and I both had the same thought. You can say him the same. Yeah. Yeah, they sound the same. Yeah, that's welcome to. No, it's in like exactly the same. Yeah. Well, you're welcome. No, thank you. Thank you, Jason. That was awesome. Tomorrow, guess what? I don't get shamed. We have the wheel of shame on tomorrow's episode. More matchups. I think we'll have stopped reacting to the Catarius Tony News by then. And a reminder, rankings, start sit tool, all of the foot clan tools, all of the resources.
This is go time for your fantasy season. So avail yourself, the fantasy footballers.com is the website. Join thefoot.com for the fantasy football community. And, well, that is it for today's show. Thank you for joining us. Harty. That's not even a word. Harty is a word. Yeah, it is. Yeah, yeah. Well, I'll see you tomorrow, everybody. Goodbye. You for listening to another episode of the Fantasy Footballers podcast. Join our fantasy football community on join thefoot.com and follow us on Twitter at theFF ballers.