THE UNOFFICIALFOOTBALLERSFAN ARCHIVE↗Transcript links use the exact YouTube video’s clock. Machine transcripts can contain errors.
The hosts announce a full staff-and-writer mock and call the UDK's 130,000 words human-written, then immediately qualify the word 'human' when naming Kyle, Betz, and the rest of the crew.
Mike's double-championship history creates stated loyalty to Zay Flowers, and when Christian Watson is drafted away from him he calls Watson his sweet, sweet, precious Mr. Watson.
After the others persuade Mike with four consecutive thousand-yard seasons, he reluctantly takes Tony Pollard, calls the pick gross, and later says he hates it so much that it derailed a draft he had loved.
Al queues a Snake Man visual for Mai Lemon in the wrong scene; the hosts explain the coming accidental trigger, it fails to appear, and when it finally plays they roast the rocking football and seconds-level workmanship.
Al calls attention to an expected error that does not occur, admits the setup belonged in a private channel, and later leaves the production computer audible despite telling everyone to mute before every show.
The final picks trigger an old sound-library exchange: 'How does this impact Marlon Mack?' followed shortly by the harsher archived response, 'You are an idiot.'
Betz takes Omar Cooper in a way that prompts an immediate ban joke, and the hosts close the episode by scheduling a discussion about whether he may ever participate again because he 'went crazy.'
The full staff joins a twelve-team mock, prompting a joke that the UDK's 130,000 human-written words count as human only if Kyle, Betz, and the crew do. Mike's personal roster history drives the comedy: he feels championship loyalty to Zay Flowers, calls Christian Watson his sweet precious Mr. Watson, gets talked into Tony Pollard, and immediately hates the pick. In Deucer's Alley, Al queues a Snake Man video in the wrong scene, cannot trigger it after the hosts explain the gag, reveals a visually questionable rocking football, and later calls out a mistake that never happened. The production computer is also accidentally left unmuted despite Al's ritual pre-show warnings. Betz drafts so aggressively that the hosts end by discussing whether he should ever be allowed back in a mock.
>> I drafted him in the sixth round. No, there's there's plenty of people. >> Even if he starts off slow, I just don't believe I think if they're on the field in week one, they will be themselves for week one. Both of those guys. >> Yeah. I mean, statistically speaking, like performance off of ACL's, there's a timeline where they're on the field and they're not at preacl injury performance. just statistically for that's not to say every human being is the same and obviously this is a dog but that that is a normal >> go ask AP about it >> sure yes generational you know hall of
famer >> yeah I just I from from the timeline and how long uh >> yeah we'll see Thomas goes next you're uh Jason you're back on the clock after the Josh Allen pick >> I'm gonna continue to stand for a player that we don't like at And by we, I mean us and the entire world at this point. >> Wait, we don't like them and you're going to stand for a player because I definitely think that >> are you are you in the group that you're talking about that doesn't like him? >> No, it's me against the world. I think
Marvin Harrison Jr. is the clear number one wide receiver target for the Cardinals. I don't I mean that's just how I believe the the future will play out. So I'm going to take him here as my third wide receiver. >> Okay, that means he's start that means he's starting for you. There's the quarterbacks. >> Lamar Jackson, Joe Burrow, and Jaden Daniels all go in sequential order here. >> Makes sense. >> Panic in the streets. Parker Washington, Raandre Stevenson. >> I don't think that's panic. I think that's full just taking the value. >> Um, yeah, just not confident they'll roll back through to the next pick here
at >> No, they would not. >> Raandre, Warren, and Hubard reveal the running back tier we are now in. Yeah, the the running backs are thin. >> That's why I took the I grabbed Montgomery when I did because it went from Montgomery to Dobbins. >> Yeah, for sure. Um I I still am pretty happy with my Jacobs and Scataboo as my one, two, and then it's it's going to be thin. I want more wide receivers for depth, for flex in a three wide receiver. Um >> you still need a wide receiver. Three, two. >> No, I've got three wide receivers. So,
>> no, you need a third. >> Ah, the Marv joke. Well, I will go ahead and put in I'm going to >> Yes, it was. >> I'm going to grab a player a little ahead of ADP, but someone who's just being drafted so ridiculously low for a great offense, guaranteed on the field, has been pretty good in his career. High draft capital coming in. Quinton Johnston is man, >> Quinton Johnson is going to be, you know, I think he's a top 24 wide receiver this year. him and lad to me are not that diff like I don't look at their outcome and their
outlook this year as as that drastically different but if you look at where they're drafted it's it's like >> it's like a wide receiver one and a wide receiver four on the same team whereas we know that Quinton Johnson in two wide receiver sets is going to be on the field and we're not even sure if lad is >> Jaylen Herz sixth wide or sixth quarterback off the board at 706 between your two picks Quinton Johnson and Marvin Harrison. What a combo. >> Thank you. >> I know when when you're in the round sentiment perspective incredible. Uh Mike, you're on the
clock. You just took craft. You have two running backs, three wide, >> one onesie. This is where I run into some difficulty of like my highest ranked players for my personal projections are like we have we're we're starting to really get into the ADP discrepancy where you know I would be reaching much lower into the ADP of players who they could make it back. Uh so I only have the two running backs players available on the board. Many is the top ADP. I don't want Swift and Manung guy. Pard what? What are we even doing, dude? Tony Pard's just like
>> the worst offensive line in football. >> He's just there, man. The worst. It was the worst last year. And didn't he have a thousand rushing yards? >> He got it going at the end of the year if I remember correctly. >> There was nothing we really found redeemable from that season. >> Sure. But I mean it is funny the starter for an offense that could get better year two on a >> and like I yeah it's the same conversation for like >> just ran for,82 along with 33 receptions, you know, he was the running back 23 last year and
we're and it's like we're talking about backups to the backups right now and then there's just pard sitting there. Four seasons in a row he's had a thousand rushing yards. >> Oh man. Dad talking. >> I mean, you're saying really good things. >> Wait, four years in a row? >> Four years in a row, he's had a thousand rushing yards. >> What? >> Yeah. I think Yeah. No. >> 1007 105 1790 182. >> WHAT? >> Thank you. >> Nine touchdown 6 5 Yeah. >> Um the attempts dropped from 260 to 242 last year, >> but he still had over a thousand yards.
So that means his yards per carry went up. Really? >> Okay, sure. We'll go. Did he just take Tony Per? >> I did. I did. Look, honestly, it was down between him and Rico Dael, who I don't I'm not 100% sure Rico's the starter or not. Tony Pard will be. Oh, that's a gross one. All right, Betsy gets to try to continue and assemble his wide receiver room. He goes Adams, Tyson, and now Addison. So there you go. Um I'm going to go ahead and pull the trigger here on I wanted Carnell Tate maybe in the fifth. It didn't drop to me. I do kind of
regret the Lovelin pick seeing the landscape. Like I would be fine with Fannon and Pitts here or even KD in the seventh three rounds later. So I kind of regret that. But I will take a I'll take another rookie. Mai Lemon in the seventh round. >> Sure. >> We'll see what happens there. >> Harold Fannon and Jonathan Brooks go next. Jonathan Brooks, congratulations. >> Um, >> you've been drafted. I have seen him going in I mean like the value of him in a dynasty league is above Hubard now. >> Yes. It's he has skyrocketed this off season and reddraft is still a bit lower
but it's he's he's a wild card man I it could really really pay off. Oh Matthew. So he ends up going by the way Hubard and 703 John the Brooks 801 which is wild. I took a shot on my second pick here with Jackson Dart in the eighth round. I think he was the last of well not the last of the group but some upside potential there. Maybe I'll pair him with somebody else later but Godwin Aaron Jones and Jacobe Myers. Mike has Tony Pard. >> Yeah. And I I >> that's just the end of my sentence. >> I shouted. Yeah. No, it there's so many
regrets here everybody because uh Matthew Betts took Chris Godwin and I was recently talking to Kyle Oh, sorry. I'm I'm really enjoying the playbyplayer here in production channel. >> What did we get? >> I want people to understand what's about to happen. >> Please tell me what's going on. >> Um, well, we have reattached the uh I got a snake man drop to Mai Lemon. Yes. >> Because he is kind of like a snake. >> He's he's serpentine, >> but um but when we're doing a mock draft, um apparently he tried to hit that drop when I drafted Limit because he's a good
producer. >> Mhm. I'm talking about Al Borland, but he did it in like the wrong scene. So, it's just waiting to trigger. >> Oh, so as soon as we >> So, when he changes the scene, you're just going to get a random >> just get it out of the way. >> Didn't happen. >> Oh, and so you set all that up. >> I was wrong. >> Did it now? >> Now I can't find it. >> You were just complimenting. >> A snake, man. >> Amazing moment. >> I'm really glad we aired that. >> Hold on. Hold on. >> Yeah, I'm glad I brought it up.
>> Play that again. So the Why is the ball moving? Play. >> I got a snake, man. >> That's That's not your best workout. >> WHY IS THE BALL ROCKING back and forth? >> That's cuz the whole player is >> That looked like a hot swap situation. >> Yeah. >> Um is that the third Snake player, Blake Bortles? >> He spent >> Spencer Rattler and now Mai Lemon. >> Seconds working on that. >> Yeah, that was seconds worth of >> Oh goodness, Brian. Anyways, uh talking to Kyle about Chris Godwin. so disappointed. >> And it feels bad. It feels gross.
>> Oh, what a gross combo. >> Chris Godwin >> Pard and Godwin. >> Well, I can't take Godwin now. >> Oh, he went. >> No, my point is >> good for you >> is people are going to be mad how productive Chris Godwin is. Like the the gap between Chris Godwin and Ibuka in ADP. >> Not appropriate. >> I don't think >> 312 and 803. It's appropriate because it should make sense that former first round pick now thrust into what we perceive to be the number one option. But Chris Godwin is just here to to ruin that party. >> When he returned last year, Godwin had
this is his receptions 2, three, 54, 57, and one. >> How did I do in that time? >> We don't talk about we don't talk about second half. >> That's the point is another year. >> It was worse than that. But I it that whole situation is going to be very interesting. I think I takes a step forward. I do. I think Godwin is more productive than we think he'll be. Yes. And I think that the other guys McMillan and Uton and Hurst and you know TZ Johnson are going to just the ball's going to get spread around a little bit
there and we'll be surprised week to week. Yeah. I mean Betts is pointing out Godwin wasn't healthy at all last year. >> Correct. Which >> that has been I mean that's pretty normal for him. >> Yeah. I was say that's a pretty regular concern for Godwin. I mean, he didn't miss he missed the entirety uh the back half of 2024. Came back for two games and then got hurt again last year. I mean, we haven't had a in 2022 he missed two games. He played a full 2023. So, we're going. It's been a while. Mike, you're back on the clock. Pard and
we got five picks left. So, we got to get >> All right. Well, we'll get moving. Uh this is the time of the draft where I need to take a Washington running back. I'll just take Bill. >> Can I hit the drop? Is that okay? We don't know. >> All right. >> That's not just going to like happen again later. >> No, audio ones are fine. It's the video ones that get screwed up. >> He called himself out on a mistake that didn't even happen. >> Yeah, it was going to be great. >> Yeah. Keep those under wraps, brother. >> I was excited for a
>> private channel. >> It's funny cuz I think my whole thought process, I'm doing you a favor setting this up to be a funny moment >> and I didn't. >> I let you down. You didn't screw up enough. >> I mean, that's uh Jason, you're on the clock. Marvin Harrison, Quinton Johnson were your last two picks. >> Yeah, Bill and Dowel were on the board, but I would have taken this player over both of them. I'm going to take Kenny Gainwell. >> Okay. >> Um, you know, I I think he's involved and playable from week one, but obviously if something
>> involved and playable is the highlight of his career. >> Yeah. But if something happens to, you know, the the smaller undersized leader of the time share who's already been dealing with injuries in Bucky, then I think Kenny Gainwell has a really great season. >> Well, um, Al was too busy fixing stuff to make his pick there. Blake Corm finally goes off the board. >> Oh, darn it, Kyle. >> And then Courtland Sutton and Josh DS go off the board. Downs two rounds after dang >> Alec Pearson this drive. George KD, a great pick at 812. >> Great pick there
>> by Julia. I love that pick. >> Um, and then we've got Rashad White, who I was just staring at, then disappeared off the board with the first pick of the ninth round. So, Al, you were waiting on >> I was trying to decide between Cororum and Downs which one would get back to me and I chose wrong. Apparently, >> Pitman and Pierce all go next. And uh Al is got to settle on somebody else before Jason is on the clock. Jason, your four white outs, JSN, Nico, Harrison, and Quinton Johnston, your three running backs, Jacobs, Scataboo, and Gainwell with Josh Ellen. A steal in the fifth.
He is still deciding. >> Yeah, I'm going to wait till I know who >> is panicking here. >> I was trying to find somebody, but I swear he wasn't draft. Oh, he >> Bucky Irving was already taken. I'm sorry. Yeah, I was looking for Michael Pitman. I didn't see him go just >> uh two picks ago. >> Well, then uh >> so this would have been one of those fun situations. >> This is where he's going to clearly just take my guy. He has no idea who's going to say I'll just take this guy. >> I don't think so. >> Wale was the guy I wanted.
>> Oh, perfect. >> You took Wale Robinson. Jason, did you really? >> Yeah. Yeah. I I figured with the way that my team is laid out with Marv and Quinton Johnston being I believe in them, but they are question marks and so I wanted a little bit more solid just possession type receiver. I think he would have fit well. But since Landelle is gone, I'm going to say let me just keep going for upside and I will take Matthew Golden. You know, hopefully at this point in time you you you expect him to be on the field in those two wide
receiver sets if he could just be good. Oh, the volume. The volume was really intense right there. >> It's very golden. >> Um Mike, you're back on the clock. Pard and Jakari Krosky merit. Your last two picks. You have Swift and Han with them. Flowers, Rice, and Lamb. Haven't taken a wide receiver in Yeah. >> a bunch of rounds. >> I cannot express how much I hate that Tony Per pick that I >> I think it was a good pick. >> No, I hate it. I hate it so much. It really >> like I I was vibing and feeling great
about every pick and now we're just we're derailed. >> I'm glad I talked you into it. >> Yeah. >> Uh so I need a wide receiver. >> I'm going to take the guy who got he got a bag of money. He's got Drake May. I'm going Romeo Dobs. >> Of course. >> As you say, nobody nobody deserves Dobs more than you do. Um so you pick one up after the lamb rice flowers situation to start your draft. Okay. So, this this round, all I wanted was one of Matthew Golden and Jaden Reed. >> Mhm. >> They're both now gone. Uh oh, and then
R.J. Harvey was next up on the list, and he has gone to bets. >> This RJ Harvey in the ninth is >> this is upside down for what your uh drafts of home will look like. >> Insane. >> This is everybody being afraid of >> I know he's still drafted way too early. >> Mike's wrath. >> I thought I'd take R.J. Harvey at 9. >> R.J. Harvey in the ninth is perfectly fine. I'm going to take Zack Charbanet at 911. Okay. So, you know, the team has every plan for him to still be heavily involved. Price will get off to a good
start. We'll see what Charbanet second half will looks like. >> Jaden Higgins and Travis Hunter go next. >> Interesting. >> Yeah. I mean, we are we are really getting thin here at the power positions. I'm staring down more wide receivers to add to a three wide receiver roster and I'm not liking what I'm seeing. I mean, Khil Shakir is an option. Jaylen Coker just got paid. >> Jaylen Coker's good. >> Digs could get put on a roster and matter at running back. It's there's just not a lot of big names. Jordan Mason sitting there. That's sort of interesting, but I just
took a running back. I've already got my onesies figured out. So, I think I'm going to actually take a shot on Antonio Williams. >> Take another. >> Oh, that was gummy. >> He would not have made it past me. >> All right. He is the last one out there. That was I was trying to get you to take Jaylen Coker just so that I could get Antonio Williams. >> Doing the mock draft together where you share all of your thoughts is very funny. >> Um, >> well, it makes me happy that two people groaned after the pick. So, Antonio Williams is the selection. That's the
rookie wide receiver for the Commanders who as of right now without with Brandon Iay going crazy and not having a team kind of. Uh you expect Antonio Williams to be the wide receiver too? >> Yeah, we'll see what he can do. Herbert Worthy, Jonah Coleman, Mike back on the clock again. I want to remind you, Mike, you did draft Tony Pard in the seventh round. If you didn't point that out, I still >> hate it. I still hate it. Uh man. Wanting to find some some upside here because it's like Shakir. >> Are you thinking quarterback at all? Are there is there one or two names that you