THE UNOFFICIALFOOTBALLERSFAN ARCHIVE↗Transcript links use the exact YouTube video’s clock. Machine transcripts can contain errors.
The hosts announce a full staff-and-writer mock and call the UDK's 130,000 words human-written, then immediately qualify the word 'human' when naming Kyle, Betz, and the rest of the crew.
Mike's double-championship history creates stated loyalty to Zay Flowers, and when Christian Watson is drafted away from him he calls Watson his sweet, sweet, precious Mr. Watson.
After the others persuade Mike with four consecutive thousand-yard seasons, he reluctantly takes Tony Pollard, calls the pick gross, and later says he hates it so much that it derailed a draft he had loved.
Al queues a Snake Man visual for Mai Lemon in the wrong scene; the hosts explain the coming accidental trigger, it fails to appear, and when it finally plays they roast the rocking football and seconds-level workmanship.
Al calls attention to an expected error that does not occur, admits the setup belonged in a private channel, and later leaves the production computer audible despite telling everyone to mute before every show.
The final picks trigger an old sound-library exchange: 'How does this impact Marlon Mack?' followed shortly by the harsher archived response, 'You are an idiot.'
Betz takes Omar Cooper in a way that prompts an immediate ban joke, and the hosts close the episode by scheduling a discussion about whether he may ever participate again because he 'went crazy.'
The full staff joins a twelve-team mock, prompting a joke that the UDK's 130,000 human-written words count as human only if Kyle, Betz, and the crew do. Mike's personal roster history drives the comedy: he feels championship loyalty to Zay Flowers, calls Christian Watson his sweet precious Mr. Watson, gets talked into Tony Pollard, and immediately hates the pick. In Deucer's Alley, Al queues a Snake Man video in the wrong scene, cannot trigger it after the hosts explain the gag, reveals a visually questionable rocking football, and later calls out a mistake that never happened. The production computer is also accidentally left unmuted despite Al's ritual pre-show warnings. Betz drafts so aggressively that the hosts end by discussing whether he should ever be allowed back in a mock.
Collins. So, I'm gonna actually take Nico and we'll start this without a running back in the first two rounds. Something I don't usually enjoy doing, but in a three wide receiver league, we'll see how that we'll see how that pans out at the end. >> All right, so Jason goes with Nico with JSN putting Al Borland back on the clock where Pickkins finally goes. Mike can shed a tear. >> Yeah, that's all right. >> But um here in the second round >> Oh, Kyle >> Kyle went Ken Walker >> high tea. >> Yeah, >> three wide receivers. >> Three teams went two running backs. I
mean, I don't I don't mind that at all. I I running backs. >> Oh, like the the the numbers we brought up the other day can be discussed in various ways to me. you get 30, you know, you have, I think we were saying, you know, 96 wide receivers on the field for the majority of the time. You get 32 running backs on the field. To me, it's like it is much much much easier to find wide receivers that give you value. It's much much harder to find running backs that give you value. Later in the draft, so I don't mind loading up on that.
Pickings goes, then Bowowers, Ken Walker, and Derrick Henry. I thought Jason was going to take Derrick Henry, honestly, that's what I thought was going to happen. So, through two rounds, I've got Aman Ross, same Brown and James Cook, Mike with CD Lamin, Jason with Jason and Nico. Third round starts with T McMillan at the 301. T. Higgins, Jeremiah Love, and Chris Lave go next. Putting Jason back on the clock. Um, this is a pretty easy situation for me now that I started. Wide receiver, wide receiver, have two studs there. I feel like there's two running backs that I really love that are on the board. So,
it's just a matter of >> I know their names. >> It's Josh Jacobs and Kairen Williams. Uh, both of those guys are great. They score a ton of fantasy points. They're goal linebacks. They uh catch the ball. They're on good offenses. I'm going to take Josh Jacobs. There's obviously the question marks about his legal stuff. If that doesn't exist and and from my understand what I've researched, I am not genuinely fearful of it. I don't think there's going to be any suspension coming. If we knew for sure that there was no suspension coming, Josh Jacobs is just I mean he is pretty much guaranteed
to be a top 10 back assuming health and uh to get that in the third round after two stud uh wide receivers. I'll take that gamble. >> All right, Mike, you're on the clock. >> So, Kairen went right after. >> I mean, let's just Hey, let's keep the legal troubles going, guys. >> Good stuff. Uh I'm going to take Rashid Rice. I was before when Han Han messed up the plan. Like I was going to take Rice right there in the second round cuz I think that his situation is also like the NFL is just going to let it go. Let
it keep playing out and it's he look. It's disgusting. >> Oh, come on. Bets. >> You had two running backs. >> CD Lamb Han Rice is a I'm very happy with that. All right. So, here's the playbyplay and I'm gonna write his name down on a list of see if we could take a paycheck away or something. Uh Rashi Rice, Malik Neighbors, Javvante Williams, and then Bats is on the clock before me and he's got Barkley and Hampton. So, to me, it's like >> needs a wide receiver. >> He's just going for wide receiver and I'm I'm watching McBride drop
almost, you know what, almost a full round behind Brock Bowers. I'm thinking that's a great value. You have got the quick turn. >> And he took my bride. >> He took my bride. >> He took my He took my bride. Yes. Um All right. Running back options that I have. Bree Hall sitting there. I do like Bree is just a solidifier for an offense, but I don't The names he's mixed up with. Travis Han in New Orleans. Cam Scataboo. I like at wide receiver. Garrett Wilson still sitting there. Talk about the the targets you're going to get between AJ Brown and Garrett
Wilson. >> There'll be a lot of them >> will be wild. So to me that is kind of like a more guaranteed >> some better than others >> produ production. Yeah. Targets. Yeah. >> Yeah. I'll take Garrett Wilson there at the 311 and see what comes back to me. >> Ibuka goes next to Papa Josh and he goes right back to a dunes. >> Interesting. >> He goes double wide there. Leaves me with Bree Hall. But the problem with Breeze now is I've taken Garrett Wilson and I'm not a classic two >> two jets. >> I'm not a double jet situation.
>> You will be rostering 85% of the offense. >> You know what I'm going to do? This is one of those tough situations where my I I'm at 11. You wait forever. There is zero chance that I get a top tier tight end if I don't make one pick right here. >> That's true. And it's a little sooner than I'd like to take him, but I believe so. Coulson Lovelin is going to be the pick. >> Oh, Mr. Loveland. >> Uh because there's just no way I'm going to get him. And if you believe in somebody, sometimes you have to take him
sooner if you're at the turn. So that's where I'm going to go. >> Betts is just he he Mimosa Morning. I mean, >> Mimosa Morning Zero wide receiver. >> Zero wide receiver. >> The classic strategy of zero. Let's find out in a three wide. >> Yeah, I think he wants air time. Uh, Taquan Barkley, Omari and Hampton, Trey McBride, and Bree Hall for Betsy in a three- wide. I hope your wide receivers are terrible, but they probably won't be. Achan goes next and Lad McConi. Mike, you're back on the clock. Lamb, Rashi Rice, >> and Devon Achan is the roster.
>> Yeah, we uh we got a tough one here because there is >> I feel like that's what you said every time. Well, because I'm I'm getting hit with like players I really like and I'm having to make the choice and I know that the second one will not come back to me. There is the the the heart would like to draft Luther Burton here. I know the risk. Um I do think Jaylen Wadd is underrated. Uh I think he's going to get a a very very healthy dose of targets. And then there's the player who I just will always stand for coming off of 1,200
yards and yet just is hated on this show. I will take Z Flowers. >> I I'm glad you did. >> I don't hate Z Flowers. >> Yes, you do. >> I don't. I just don't think he's the wide receiver seven. >> He is. >> Neither do you. >> He's fine. >> I think he doesn't believe he's the wide receiver seven. >> He put up,200 yards. >> That's fine. I I didn't say he didn't. I didn't say he put up less yards. It's Mike's third wide receiver in the fourth round. And so I I I think that's I think that's >> I don't mind the pick I at all. I think
Mike feels a loyalty to Z Flowers because he was part of the roster that won him a double championship last year. >> I feel a loyalty to number one wide receivers with great quarterbacks who just put up,200 yards. >> It's fair. Jaylen Wadd goes next. Jason on the clock with JSN Nico and Josh Jacobs. Yeah, there's there's two players here that I I really really want. It's tough to make that decision, but I think the way that running backs thin out, while there are still some good running backs on the board, I got to take one. I love Cam Scataboo. Um,
I'm going to take him hard. >> Um, so hey Boo Boo. >> Uh, so yeah, JSN and Nico at wide receiver, Josh Jacobs and Cam Scataboo. I am happy with the start. >> Well, Tyler Warren goes next, so Al takes the shot on him. Top four tight end. Now, Jason, you shook your head. >> Was that dissatisfaction with Warren? >> No. No. I think that's a a great pick in the fourth round to get one of those top four tight ends. >> All right, to round out the fourth, Luther Burton, Mike Evans, Quinn Sean Judkins. We'll jump into the fifth after
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footballers. I'm drafting from the 11 spot. Mike from the seven spot. Jason from the five spot. And we're into round five. Jason has JSN, Nico Collins, Jacobs, and Scataboo. Mike has Lamb, A Chan, Rice, and Flowers. I'm with AJ Brown, James Cook, Garrett Wilson, and Coulson Loveland. And the fifth starts with Jameson Williams, Carnell Tate, who I was targeting for the end of this round. Thank you very much, Kyle. Uh, Trayvon Henderson, and Bucky Irving going next. >> Jason, you are on the clock. >> Of note, no quarterbacks. >> Oh, no. This is this is the spot I the I
blew it up. I I said earlier there were two players I really really wanted and I didn't name the other player because know your league and I thought there was a chance you would come. >> Know your league and know that if you say the name while everyone is listening to you they might draft him. >> But my point is I think that Josh Allen is usually around pick 24. He is at the 23 turn. We're in the fifth round and Josh Allen hasn't been taken. He's been a great pick for about five years in a row. No matter where he is, no matter
how much he costs, you make the playoffs if you've got Josh Allen. Having him in the fifth round is delightful. I will do that. Oh, Britney, if he's ever there in the fifth round, take Josh Allen. >> Jason went with Josh Allen. Christian Watson goes next so Mike doesn't get him. >> My sweet, sweet, precious Mr. Watson. >> I feel like you ended up in great shape with the Nico pick, Jason, because Jacobs and Scataboo are both >> Yep. I mean, obviously Scataboo has to be start worthy from the jump, and I think he will be, but I think it's
worked out really well for you to be able to steal Josh Allen in the fifth, who was certainly any of us in the fifth were going to think about that, but you end up getting him with, you know, like he went three picks after Carnell Tate, >> right? >> Um, it is three wide. Mike, you're on the clock. >> So, Watson would have been >> I think I know your pick. I'm gonna write it down. >> Uh, okay. I'm going to write it down cuz it's it's a pick I think >> Watson was very much going to be in contention here. I not that I I mean I
have my three starting wide receivers. We still have the flex. Uh so I'm actually going to go go look at the running back position. There's two players. >> Do you have them both? And do you know who both of >> I know who both of the players you're considering are. >> I do too. >> But I I wrote down to say them out loud though for our audience. >> Okay. Well, I will just I'm going to take the one of the two. because I can't take both. >> I think you guys are going to have it just slightly backwards. >> We did. I had two.
>> We did. I did, too. >> He wrote fart down on his >> Well, it's a tootin. Um >> It was It was between Bayalt and DeAndre Swift. >> I want you to just realize you just drafted DeAndre Swift. >> Yes. >> Over a player that you think has breakout potential and that you've been pretty bullish on and you took DeAndre Swift. I kind of understand it from the side of >> second running back. >> I know >> guaranteed production >> that Swift is the leader of the time share at least in my belief where I do I firmly believe that Bay Salt Tutin is
the guy >> but we still have training camp and months of summer to really find that out. So I the building the squad on this date in June I'm going to take the the starter for the Chicago Bears. Well, uh, you know, Kyle said, "I thought I knew who Mike was." >> Yeah. No, >> this is a testimony to changing your opinion if you need to. >> Had to. >> Yeah. Um, most of the guys I really wanted to drop in this round have been drafted. Uh, Mike went with Swift, followed by Tuton, who I might have pulled the trigger on, and then McLaren
and Devonte Adams go next. I don't like I mean the running back position has thinned tremendously and there's one guy that I think is going to be good for 300 opportunities and we've talked about him recently. So I'm going to pull the trigger on the running back before a wide receiver here and I'm going to take them opportunity. David Montgomery in the late fifth as a starter of a a playoff team. Uh it's not sexy. >> He was highest on my board. >> But I mean I'm looking at this it's like Javvante Williams went at 309. Okay. Two rounds and two picks later, you get
Devon uh David Montgomery. How How certain are you that Javvante has a better better season than David Montgomery? >> Uh >> not not very certain. You >> you are very certain. >> I think if you look at the Texans offense versus my setup there versus the Cowboys offense, you would expect the Cowboys to have a lot more scoring opportunities. >> You would um David Montgomery JK Dobbins goes at 512. >> I'm just happy that someone took him away from Mike. Yeah, >> I mean that's early. >> Good for you, Josh. >> Early. >> Um, >> and he took Drake May. Drake May goes
>> second quarterback. >> It's fine. >> So, I'm sitting here. >> Yeah, it it is to me. >> Yeah. I mean, he is he's uh >> Okay. >> I know it's not Well, you you have him at like QB14, Jason. We know you don't like >> a return to the beginning of the off season. >> No, no, no. Drake May is like my quarterback four. Uh, he is my quarterback four. Uh, but I still taking him over Lamar and taking him over, you know, >> last year's last year's QB3 is okay to be taken at QB2 in the sixth. >> It's fine.
>> All right, I'm back on the clock. Quick turnaround and then a long wait, which is not my favorite. I'm not going to take another onesie here. So, I'm really staring down the wide receiver position for upside and opportunity. Um, I'm going to take a guy I truly believe will be a certifiable number one here. And there's no way he's coming all the way back to me. I'm taking Alec Pierce in the sixth round. I'm taking him ahead of Brian Thomas, >> taking him ahead of DJ Moore and Metaf. And uh I'm securing a player I think will be a differencemaker. So Jordan
Tyson does go next to Betsy who begins to put together his wide receiver room with Devonte Adams and Jordan Tyson. So I don't know how you feel about that yet, but um >> I it has it still has upside. His average >> the average age of his wide receivers are in their prime. >> That is true. >> You know, if you >> His average age is prime >> is prime. >> Uh Jarian Price and DJ Moore go next. Kurt taking DJ Moore. Mike, you're on the clock. Fresh off of a DeAndre Swift selection. >> Yes. And we will cleanse the pallets
to a player I'd love even if there are the question marks. what I've said. I just I'm throwing those into the wind. I'm taking Tucker Craft. >> Wow. >> I tell you, I have him ranked aggressively. I think he's going to be good to go. Yes, probably better in the second half, but I I I think you're going to be okay for those first few weeks, even while he's getting acclimated. >> Yeah. Am I the only one that doesn't worry about acclamation for either of those guys? >> What do you mean? 0% of me cares about acclamation for Tucker Craft and George KD.