THE UNOFFICIALFOOTBALLERSFAN ARCHIVE↗RSS timestamps belong to our exact archived audio capture. The publisher’s current playback may have different ads and timing. Machine transcripts can contain errors.
A trademark euphemism for the Super Bowl becomes an on-air domain search, exposing the company's collection of unnecessary properties such as ChristmasFootball.com and TuesdayNightFootball.com and its apparent plan to own every weekday before another pandemic moves games around.
Sean Mannion becoming an offensive coordinator makes the hosts revisit an unnamed host's multi-year early-show conviction that Mannion was one of the NFL's best quarterbacks and that Jared Goff should be benched so Mannion could get on the field.
The wide-receiver Truth segment is formally opened by the familiar 'You want answers' and 'You can't handle the truth' courtroom montage before the hosts begin grading finishes and consistency.
The hosts say a Bengals extension for Chase Brown would be detrimental to everyone in the League of Record, while Brooks loves the possibility because Brown sits on his dynasty roster.
After Kyle is asked for an ADP result and the ensuing answer places Michael Wilson ahead of Marvin Harrison Jr., he writes 'spread them' in the company Slack; the channel automatically returns a perfectly timed GIF of a kick in the nards.
Looking back at Egbuka's hot opening and disastrous second half, the hosts remember Papa Josh acquiring him in dynasty at what they call the worst timing imaginable.
When asked whether he still wants J.J. McCarthy in Minnesota, the likely Mike response says McCarthy was supposed to be a helpful scuba tank but was filled with lead instead of air, dragging him deep without oxygen until he decides when to remove it and swim up.
The hosts cannot say the championship game's trademarked name, so they explore buying the Big Game, Bigger Game, and Biggest Game domains before exposing their real portfolio: ChristmasFootball.com and TuesdayNightFootball.com. They joke about more weekday variants before discovering Wednesday Night Football is missing, then realize on air that these were supposed to be company secrets. Sean Mannion's offensive-coordinator job triggers a direct retrospective to an unnamed host's multi-year bit demanding that Jared Goff be benched for Mannion and insisting Mannion was one of the league's best quarterbacks. The recurring Truth segment enters through its familiar courtroom dialogue. Internal league and crew details keep surfacing around the analysis: a Chase Brown extension would hurt everyone in the League of Record but delights Brooks because Brown is on his dynasty team; Kyle types 'spread them' into Slack and automatically receives a perfectly timed kick-in-the-nards GIF; and Papa Josh's high-price Emeka Egbuka acquisition is remembered as having the worst possible timing. Mike's defense of J.J. McCarthy collapses into an image of scuba diving with a tank filled with lead rather than air, forcing him to decide when to abandon it and swim upward.
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