THE UNOFFICIALFOOTBALLERSFAN ARCHIVE↗RSS timestamps belong to our exact archived audio capture. The publisher’s current playback may have different ads and timing. Machine transcripts can contain errors.
Jason appears in glasses with built-in cameras. He says the recording light is off, while the desk invokes a hack that disables the indicator and jokes that the man is watching everything anyway.
The hosts define a twelve-team full-PPR mock using the entire writing staff and studio team, promise that no AI will make any decisions, and clarify that any stupid Jake pick belongs to the real Jake rather than a robot.
Mike calls Kenneth Walker his guy but considers Hampton. The desk says that choice would mean he does not know himself; Mike finally takes Walker, after which the narration credits Jason with setting up the decision and mocks the result anyway.
With Mike explicitly on the clock, he calls Christian Watson an upside pick and selects him. The narration says Producer Borland cries into the heavens after the snipe; the final recap reveals that all three hosts independently took a Packers receiver and predicts all three will be disappointed.
Jacory Croskey-Merritt's selection is declared the first Bill of the season. The desk immediately calls him Bill Krosky and assigns Croskey-Merritt to Mike at pick 7.08; 'married to Mike' is an ASR merge, not a wedding joke.
An unlabeled host announces that he will build the city and selects Michael Pittman. The desk asks whether the drop still exists, repeatedly orders production to hit it, reacts with multiple cries of pain, and immediately asks to be taken out of the city.
When Mike must choose between Kenneth Walker and Hampton, Jason says he solved the problem by keeping both in the League of Record. The desk calls it a keeper flex, then reasons that acquiring both means Jason must have had a terrible prior season.
Kyle selects Keenan Allen in the eleventh round, and the hosts twice answer the result with 'of course,' treating his long-running attachment as automatic behavior.
A late pick of Chris Rodriguez triggers the compact player name Crod three times in quick succession, and the recap keeps Crod as the roster label.
Brooks has a host relay a timely reminder that two UDK player breakdowns were updated, then takes the 1.06 staff-mock slot; Kyle is separately ordered to verify the old A.J. Brown trade compensation while also drafting in the room.
Jason opens in camera-equipped glasses that make the desk wonder whether the entire show and its private habits are being recorded; he denies recording while the hosts joke about a hidden-light hack and the man watching everything. The episode then becomes a twelve-team full-PPR mock with the entire writing staff and studio team in the studio, an explicit promise that no AI will make choices, and Jake—not a robot—owning any stupid picks. Brooks has a host relay a reminder that two UDK breakdowns were updated and drafts from 1.06; Kyle is asked to research an old trade; Producer Borland, Papa Josh, Matthew Betz, the Falcon, K-Borg, and Julia all receive slots. Jason tells Mike that considering Hampton over Kenneth Walker means he does not know himself; Mike takes Ken Bone Walker. Jason then flexes that he already has both Walker and Hampton as League of Record keepers, prompting the conclusion that he must have had a terrible year. Later Mike selects Christian Watson, causing Producer Borland to cry into the heavens, and all three hosts independently bet on a Packers receiver they expect will disappoint. Jacory Croskey-Merritt creates the first Bill of the season: the hosts call him Bill Krosky and assign him to Mike at 7.08; the transcript's 'married to Mike' is an ASR merge of 'Merritt to Mike,' not a wedding joke. Near the end, Kyle 'of course' drafts longtime favorite Keenan Allen, and Chris Rodriguez is repeatedly reduced to Crod. A Michael Pittman selection becomes Pittman City, with repeated demands to hit a missing sound cue and pained reactions once the buttons arrive.
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