THE UNOFFICIALFOOTBALLERSFAN ARCHIVE↗Transcript links use the exact YouTube video’s clock. Machine transcripts can contain errors.
Jason appears in glasses with built-in cameras. He says the recording light is off, while the desk invokes a hack that disables the indicator and jokes that the man is watching everything anyway.
The hosts define a twelve-team full-PPR mock using the entire writing staff and studio team, promise that no AI will make any decisions, and clarify that any stupid Jake pick belongs to the real Jake rather than a robot.
Mike calls Kenneth Walker his guy but considers Hampton. The desk says that choice would mean he does not know himself; Mike finally takes Walker, after which the narration credits Jason with setting up the decision and mocks the result anyway.
With Mike explicitly on the clock, he calls Christian Watson an upside pick and selects him. The narration says Producer Borland cries into the heavens after the snipe; the final recap reveals that all three hosts independently took a Packers receiver and predicts all three will be disappointed.
Jacory Croskey-Merritt's selection is declared the first Bill of the season. The desk immediately calls him Bill Krosky and assigns Croskey-Merritt to Mike at pick 7.08; 'married to Mike' is an ASR merge, not a wedding joke.
An unlabeled host announces that he will build the city and selects Michael Pittman. The desk asks whether the drop still exists, repeatedly orders production to hit it, reacts with multiple cries of pain, and immediately asks to be taken out of the city.
When Mike must choose between Kenneth Walker and Hampton, Jason says he solved the problem by keeping both in the League of Record. The desk calls it a keeper flex, then reasons that acquiring both means Jason must have had a terrible prior season.
Kyle selects Keenan Allen in the eleventh round, and the hosts twice answer the result with 'of course,' treating his long-running attachment as automatic behavior.
A late pick of Chris Rodriguez triggers the compact player name Crod three times in quick succession, and the recap keeps Crod as the roster label.
Brooks has a host relay a timely reminder that two UDK player breakdowns were updated, then takes the 1.06 staff-mock slot; Kyle is separately ordered to verify the old A.J. Brown trade compensation while also drafting in the room.
Jason opens in camera-equipped glasses that make the desk wonder whether the entire show and its private habits are being recorded; he denies recording while the hosts joke about a hidden-light hack and the man watching everything. The episode then becomes a twelve-team full-PPR mock with the entire writing staff and studio team in the studio, an explicit promise that no AI will make choices, and Jake—not a robot—owning any stupid picks. Brooks has a host relay a reminder that two UDK breakdowns were updated and drafts from 1.06; Kyle is asked to research an old trade; Producer Borland, Papa Josh, Matthew Betz, the Falcon, K-Borg, and Julia all receive slots. Jason tells Mike that considering Hampton over Kenneth Walker means he does not know himself; Mike takes Ken Bone Walker. Jason then flexes that he already has both Walker and Hampton as League of Record keepers, prompting the conclusion that he must have had a terrible year. Later Mike selects Christian Watson, causing Producer Borland to cry into the heavens, and all three hosts independently bet on a Packers receiver they expect will disappoint. Jacory Croskey-Merritt creates the first Bill of the season: the hosts call him Bill Krosky and assign him to Mike at 7.08; the transcript's 'married to Mike' is an ASR merge of 'Merritt to Mike,' not a wedding joke. Near the end, Kyle 'of course' drafts longtime favorite Keenan Allen, and Chris Rodriguez is repeatedly reduced to Crod. A Michael Pittman selection becomes Pittman City, with repeated demands to hit a missing sound cue and pained reactions once the buttons arrive.
R.J. Harvey. Dude, the coach – Papa Josh has R.J. Harvey as his running back two. Would you feel comfortable with R.J. Harvey as your running back two? No. Would you feel comfortable with R.J. Harvey as your running back four? Four, yeah. Okay. If you were going to go to three, I was going to say no. No, I would not. Mike, you're back on the clock. Yeah. Really wanted to go Flowers and get Tootin on the way back. The running backs are – right now, ADP-wise, Montgomery, Jalen Warren, Ramondre, Manungay, Tony Pollard, Rico, Chuba. I mean, so it's like some interesting players are there, but I think the – you know, that true upside guy who can break into the top 12, that was Tootin.
So I only have one running back, but we're going to keep going. Are you? Yeah. To me, there's a couple of like guaranteed – Running back guys? Production names. Yeah. But we're trying to win a championship here, and Christian Watson is one of my – I hate you. League – I thought for sure you'd go running back there, and I was locked into Watson on this pick. No, he – Watson is one of my – I thought you had to have a bear. My upside pick. Yeah, exactly. Well, Watson goes to Mike. You do believe in him, but it is a – it's a gamble when, you know, Ken Walker has had some injury issues.
Oh, yeah. And you're still waiting. But we know how you play. Producer Borland cries into the heavens and then ends up with a quarterback instead. Drake May goes at 6-0-6. My dude, Alec Pierce at 6-0-7. Jalen Warren and David Montgomery fly off the board. I have my eyes on – well, I'm going to get the guy. I want because you two both already drafted tight ends. But I'm – Oh, right. I'm looking to get Harold Fannin with my seventh-round pick. But, Jason, you're on the clock, B. Oh, man. I know. Super exposure to the Cleveland Browns. I knew, I knew, I knew.
What could go wrong? B. John, Kyron, McBride, neighbors, and Odunze for Jason. I feel like when you go into your platform and you try and put in Judkins and Fannin, it would be like your roster is illegal. So, we're going to stop you right here. There's a chance I take two wide receivers. Friends don't let friends start multiple Browns. It's possible. But let's see what Jason goes with. I am going to – look, I'm playing risky here, and I'm also going away from ADP and going with what I genuinely believe. You guys just talked about the report in the news section today.
I'm going to do it again. I'm going to take a third-year wide receiver over the teammate who is being drafted higher. It's a little disgusting, but I'm taking Marvin Harrison Jr. Oh. Yeah. I don't believe that he is bad. I just don't. He was injured like crazy last year. You're going to draft Jacoby, too? I am not drafting Jacoby Myers, no. I mean, you got McBride and Harrison. Oh, man. Maybe I'll target him. How about Carson Beck? I think he meant Jacoby Brissett, not Jacoby Myers. Oh, yeah, I did. That's my bad. Well, wait. I've got my pick. We'll see if I go with Fannin.
Double Browns will take you down. Jason went double Cardinals, though, and it's on the way to success. All right. We'll take a break, and I'll make my sixth-round pick. Well, I am going to pull the trigger on another wide receiver for sure with one of my two picks here at the turn, and I had a name set aside for a while. It's kind of perfect. When you have Puka, I'm going to take a shot on two opportunities for rookies. I have Carnell Tate, and then I have Makai Lemon. So I'm going to take both of those guys. That's fun. And I hope that it shakes out for both and maybe at least one of them to step into the lineup.
Now I'm looking at a couple onesie options. I could run the stack. I could take Jalen Hurts here. I think a seventh-round Jalen Hurts is pretty awesome. Or I could go Fannin, or I could just try to stack up another wide receiver. But seeing Hurts there, you know, in the seventh round, I'm going to pull the trigger. That's pretty wild. I'm going to take Jalen Hurts there. I mean, where was he last year? Not there. My goodness. Probably fourth round. Yeah. All right. Goosh. By the way, Jaden Daniels did go between Harrison and Lemon, so he was off the board.
So Hurts, kind of a tear break for me at quarterback between the rest of the group and where Jalen Hurts was. Kyle went with Josh Downs at 7.02. Jason, you're back on the clock. Jacoby Brissett is available. Michael Wilson's available. So there are options on the roster. I am pretty tempted. Ooh, Kendrick Bourne? Kendrick Bourne's there. So I'm going to look at running back right now. Connor, James Conner's there. What we've learned this offseason is when running backs kind of empty out, they are gone. And I think the reason that that's happening this year when we've done our mocks is because usually the back half of drafts is where you take these rookie running backs.
There just aren't rookie running backs. All the rookie running backs this year are day three picks that weren't elite prospects. You look at last year, and it was so many of these guys that you're taking shots on, and they just don't exist this year. So I'm going to take a guy that I think is an extreme value. I would rather have him than R.J. Harvey. I'm going to take J.K. Dobbins. Oh, you snake. Yeah, I know. You are in agreement that he is probably the best value on the team as just the veteran first man up on a good offense.
Oh, no. Timu Nakua went next. Michael Wilson at 7.04. And then Harold Fannin does go at 7.05. I'd like to believe he was going to pick him if I didn't say anything, but it's Jake. Yeah, it's probably not. So Chuba Hubbard goes at 7.06. And DK Metcalf, oh, you have fallen. You have fallen far. 7.07 for Metcalf. Oh, man. That's a good pick right there. Sniped. Mike is so disappointed. Oh, no. I really hoped that Chuba or Dobbins. And I think that if I were not in a draft with all of y'all, J.K. Dobbins would have made it to it.
He is a stabilizer at the running back position. There's more beat reporters again. There's like, Dobbins is the starter. We're telling everyone, J.K. Dobbins is starting. And R.J. Harvey is kind of doing the same stuff he did last year. But he's boring, Mike. He's just boring. All right. The thing is, he's not boring. He just gets hurt all the time. I mean, he's on the field. He is awesome. This round is like the last three running backs off the board. Maybe you could say four with Jalen Warren. But they are the like, just try it and true. Get the job done.
Not flashy. David Montgomery, J.K. Dobbins, and Chuba, three in a row. I don't know if you saw the comments from Jonathan Brooks at the podium. But they were asking him something about his speed and his 40 time. And he's just like, it's faster than Chuba. I know that. I mean, and they were all laughing. What? No, it was good. It was lighthearted. It was wonderful. They were asking how his speed is coming off. Like, what's your top speed? He's like, I'm not sure. Faster than Chuba. I know I'm faster than Chuba. Dad is. That's cold-blooded. It was funny. That was great.
Metcalf, though, goes to Al Borland, who I think, you know, if you get him in the seventh round, I know Mike is just, he can withdraw from this comment. But I think that's a steal. So, Mike, you're back on the clock. You got four wideouts. You got a tight end. You got one running back. Yeah, I'm going to go running back here. You got somebody you like-ish? I got someone who I'm going to draft. I bet I know who it is. Oh. Do you want me to take a guess? I mean. Because it's not near the top of the ADP.
He's not at the top of the ADP. Yeah, I know. I think I know who it is. I've got my guess as well. Let's see. You want me to write it down on this board? Yeah, we'll write it down. Write it down. And then you'll reveal it, and we'll hold it up and see if we were right. All right? A little game. All right. It's not great for audio. But go ahead. I can see Jason. His is wrong, so you can put yours down. Okay, what was yours, Jason? Aaron Jones. Oh, that was mine, too. Okay. Oh, Aaron Jones is actually a, that is a good guess.
We both guessed Aaron Jones, yeah. Honestly, he would be second behind this player. I'm going to take the chance. Really? Yep. That's the first Bill of the season. Isn't it funny? He's just blending into the. Yes, he is. We haven't talked about him at all. Is it Corey Krosky? I feel like the addition of Rashad White. Bill Krosky. I'm not sure that Bill Krosky is a great bet right now. Just read, you know, there were coaches talking about him again. Kind of like, yeah, he's really got to work on, you know, his pass catching. Yeah. And you're like. Which is what Rashad White can do.
So, I think it's risky business, but there is a world where Bill is like the grinder and he's the guy at the goal line as well. And just at least historically speaking, when you have a quarterback that, you know, Daniels was hurt last year. Yep. But when you have a quarterback that can run the ball, that can run the option, that has generally been a good thing. Like, don't forget, RG3 ran the option and Alfred Morris benefited from the option long ago. Yeah, that's right. Ja'Corey Krosky married to Mike at 708. Didn't see that coming. Ramondre goes next. I know Mike wouldn't have taken Ramondre.
Godwin. Dowdle. Could have seen that. Tony Pollard. Herbert in the eighth round. Tucker Craft to Julia. And then Wandale and Parker Washington. Lots of Parker Washington talk. Not just in regards to how he's performing in OTAs, but the team expects him to take a big step up. I was going to say. And contract could be around the corner. The sifting through all of the comments coming out of Jacksonville is hard. Because I saw the Brian Thomas stuff. Yep. And then there was even a comment of Brian Thomas saying something to the extent of like, well, it doesn't hurt right now.
Of like, which, you know. When he runs. Yes, when he runs. And that was, you know, one of the theories of the beginning of last year. Because you had a wrist gate. Where Coach Cohen made an off. Just like a comment about Brian Thomas' wrist hurting. And then, like, tried to backtrack. And then it was never heard from again. It was really strange. So it was, oh, well, maybe Brian Thomas was hurt. So he's getting all this news. But then Parker was. So I don't really know how to handle that. And thankfully, the guy that you guys wrote down, he came back to me.
It's not the most inspiring of picks. But Aaron Jones. I will take Aaron Jones here. When you, Aaron Jones is, like, I don't know how other people are feeling about the Vikings. But I still believe in the O'Connell offense. That it will give us a top half, like a top 15 scoring offense. If that happens, you want to take shots on those running backs in there. And it sounds like Aaron Jones is going to be the starter. Oh, no. You guys, did you get cued? I got cued. So Mike took Aaron Jones and then Coram Laporta, Gainwell, and then right before Jason, I guess you had your eyes on Quentin Johnston.
I did. Which is something that people didn't used to want to admit. No, I think Quentin Johnston is such a good value in this year's draft to where he's going. I mean, this is the back of the eighth round. And honestly, from ADP-wise, this was, you know, ahead of where he goes on average. So I thought for sure I'd be getting cued here, which I would love for my team. I still need more wide receiver help. But if I didn't have to make those two running back picks, Quentin Johnston would have probably been one of them. It is funny how, so Cortland Sutton's top of ADP.
This is very late for a guy who has been, what, like back-to-back wide receiver. Well, my point is I don't even look at him. Like, I don't want Cortland Sutton at all. And I'm pretty sure he was a wide receiver one last year. But I'm going to take a shot on... So you're still not looking at him? Correct. That summary was that you do not want the 120-plus targets he's guaranteed to receive. I don't know that he's guaranteed that with Waddle now. I think he is. I don't know if you know what guaranteed means. I think Sutton's going to be solid.
Well, he was at 135 and then 124. So, I mean, he could obviously come down. But he's probably... In the eighth round, you can deal with his ups and downs. This is the... Are you guys trying to talk me into Corlin Sutton? No, I don't care. I'm trying to talk to the audience. I'll probably take him if you don't. But all I'm saying is that the psychological effect of Sutton wasn't as good as we wanted him to be. And they add another name to the offense. That combination generally drives a guy down. I don't know if that talked you into it.
Yeah, you didn't. I'm going to build the city. I'm going to take a guy that I like. What? Does that drop even exist anymore? Yeah, it's there somewhere. I don't have it. Hit it. Ow. Hit it. I'm going to take Michael Pittman. Ow. Hit it. I think he's going to be the number one target over DK Metcalf this season. Yeah, man, I couldn't not like the Pittman. I like Pittman. Yeah! Take me out of that city. I don't want to be in that city. You got to have something without me in it. No, I don't want the number two, potentially number two target for, I can say potentially, right?
At a minimum, you can't. Yes. He could be the number two. To boldly declare he is the number two, I think would be a misstep. But I'm on the clock and Sutton did not go. So, I'm so thankful to Kyle, by the way, because I was going to be right back. Oh, my God. Was that just all the rookies? Well, I was going to be right back and then maybe I grab a second Brown again with Casey Concepcioni. He had been sitting on my queue. Here's the picks I'm looking at. I'm going to pull the trigger on a guy I don't want to draft.
I'm just going to, and symbolically, I'm going to make it be my second pick. So, it's a ninth round pick and not an eighth. So, I feel better about it. My first pick is going to be Matthew Golden. He's going to be on the field all the time in Green Bay. He is two and a half rounds behind Christian Watson. I'm going to take my shot at it. Yeah, I don't mind it. The second name is going to be, I mean, frankly, in a PPR league, better than he would be anywhere else because they need to throw the ball to somebody else.
I'm going to do it. I'm going to take Kyle Pitts. I'm going to take Kyle Pitts in the ninth round. Oh, man. I just feel like that's a steal at tight end. I don't need to watch Atlanta, but Drake London, dot, dot, dot. There's nobody else. Wow. When Drake London was there, there was literally no one else. Why? And he was the number three tight end, Mike. Because when Drake London was gone. Number two, I thought. No, he was. He was tight end, too. So, he had the crazy game, right? But just throw that out and just look. 120 targets, 88 receptions.
I'm in a full PPR league. I'm going to take him here in the ninth and get a value in. You have to have a tight end. Before the drop changes. Yeah. You're back on the clock and you can take Cortland Sutton now. I knew who I was going to take because both the teams, you and Kyle, at the turn already had quarterbacks. So, I didn't take the player I would have taken over Pittman last round because I didn't need to. I'm going to take Jackson Dart to pair with my Malik neighbors, hoping that at the end of the year we can catch fire, win a championship.
I love the mobile rushing upside, obviously. And, you know, coming into year two, maybe special things in store. All right. Well, Jason took Jackson Dart, Omar Cooper Jr., Sutton, Dak, Addison. We're getting towards the end here, Mike. You're back on the clock. You will need a QB in the next three rounds. Yeah. I'm not worried about that. The quarterbacks available are Caleb Williams, Trevor Lawrence, Patrick Mahomes, Brock Purdy, Stafford, Goff, Malik Willis, Shuck. Was it Harditz that put that out? Somebody tweeted quarterbacks with the most, like, long touchdown passes in the last four years, and they listed them top to the bottom.
Like, Jalen Hurts was number one, right? He was like 37 or 27, something like that. The last place player with eight of the entire list of 30-plus quarterbacks, do you know who it was? Mahomes? Patrick Mahomes. Oh. Eight long touchdowns. So, on one hand, you could be like, he still managed to be relevant without doing that. Like, not good, but relevant. I think when you have long touchdowns, that is every bit as much of what wide receiver do you have? You know, it's not Jalen Hurts, it's A.J. Brown. It wasn't Patrick Mahomes, it was Tyreek Hill. You know, it's like, when you've got the guy that can get behind the entire defense and
catch the bomb, it's very helpful. Which, that is a Drake May statement. All right, Mike, pull the trigger. Speaking of a Drake May statement. Romeo Dobbs. I will take Romeo Dobbs. It actually fills up two draft spots because of the helmet. I assume... Which, you don't get a tenth now. I assume that if, look, if Drake May does what he should do, which is be a north of 4,000-yard passer with, you know, close to 30, maybe more passing touchdowns, there should be at least two players in that passing offense you want. So I'm going to bet on the guy who they are betting on.