THE UNOFFICIALFOOTBALLERSFAN ARCHIVE↗Transcript links use the exact YouTube video’s clock. Machine transcripts can contain errors.
The hosts revive the show's blue-medical-tent Halloween costume as appropriate for another mass-injury weekend. Sunday feels like tumbling through a dryer, every player ending in '-uka' receives an apology, and Egbuka's injury takes an unnamed host's last lung and newly purchased cards. This transcript does not label the host recalling the costume.
Mike and Papa Josh own the League of Record's 9–1, first- and second-highest-scoring keeper superteams, called the presumed 1A and 1B. A normal win is about 135 points, but at recording time Mike sits at 72 and Josh at 62 as their stars fail. Josh is then mocked for already trading every draft pick despite the need for depth; the figures are an in-progress snapshot, not final scores.
Jason admits he did not help prepare Monday Punday before the hosts run through a dense set of good and bad player mutations: Scatter-boom, Jackpot Smith-Njigba, Rico Belcowdle, Kendrick Bourne Supremacy, Emeka Egg Big Boo, Quin-Shart Judkins, Toilet Tagovailoa, Kenneth Walker the Turd, Stefon Diggs My Grave, Troy Stanklin, and Puke Nacua.
The hosts instruct listeners who had a good fantasy week to absorb it as the product of skill, while a loss is always caused by bad luck.
Baker Mayfield is called Laser Mayfield and the current MVP. Every lost Tampa weapon is expected to be too much, but the hosts answer 'dog don't care,' say he keeps powering up, and an unnamed host declares love for him.
De'Von Achane is described as a shining golden nugget inside Miami's toilet. The hosts decide someone has gone number two there and identify Mike McDaniel as the little tiny turd, while insisting the gold is still worth retrieving and washing one's hands afterward.
Cade Otton's weekly habit of taking huge hits escalates into a body slam, which the hosts still distinguish from legal lifting. They invent a rule permitting defenders to lift players over 250 pounds because the feat shows strength and bigger players can take the fall. Otton measures 247 without pads, then his equipment is counted to move him above the proposed lift threshold; Achane may be thrown only if caught.
After three worsening fantasy weeks and extensive commentary, the hosts repeatedly ask Kenneth Walker 'What are you?' He alternates between looking like football's best player and not mattering, while Seattle cuts him to 35 percent of snaps and uses Zach Charbonnet heavily.
An unnamed host says he will finally spin the Wheel of Shame on Friday and deserves every bit of it because he predicted 43 rushing yards for Rhamondre Stevenson. The transcript does not identify the losing host.
TreVeyon Henderson freezes in a serious three-point pass-protection stance while Drake Maye moves away. He shuffles in place, ready to block nobody, and the desk first calls it a stuck-controller moment before upgrading the diagnosis to an unplugged controller; the follow-up explicitly says he may be overthinking after coaching criticism and contrasts that treatment with Guns Mahoney correcting players before building them back up.
An unlabeled host declares 'I love Rico,' is answered with 'Yeah, you do,' and receives permission for a deserved victory lap. Minutes later Mike is directly invited to compare Rico Dowdle's rushing total with Saquon Barkley's and immediately answers Rico, corroborating that the celebration belongs to Mike.
While contrasting Henderson's coaching treatment with Detroit's approach, the hosts revive the Coach Guns Mahoney name and recount a philosophy of correcting players who take plays off, then building them back up and returning them to the field.
The injury-heavy opening revives the show's blue-medical-tent Halloween costume as seasonally appropriate, compares the weekend to tumbling through a dryer, apologizes to every injured player whose name ends in '-uka,' and turns Emeka Egbuka's injury into the loss of an unnamed host's last remaining lung after a weekend of buying his cards. League of Record provides the episode's strongest personal consequence: Mike and Papa Josh own the two 9–1, first- and second-highest-scoring keeper superteams, yet at recording time Mike sits at 72 points and Josh at 62 as their stars fail; Josh is also teased for already trading every available draft pick. Monday Punday returns with Jason admitting he did not help and a full board of mutations including Rico Belcowdle, Kendrick Bourne Supremacy, Emeka Egg Big Boo, Toilet Tagovailoa, Kenneth Walker the Turd, Stefon Diggs My Grave, Troy Stanklin, and Puke Nacua. The desk then states the universal fantasy doctrine that wins come from skill and losses from bad luck. Mike receives permission for a Rico Dowdle victory lap after declaring his love, then immediately answers Rico when directly asked to compare his rushing total with Saquon Barkley's. Baker Mayfield becomes Laser Mayfield, the MVP, and a dog who keeps powering up as Tampa loses weapons. De'Von Achane is a golden nugget in Miami's toilet, where Mike McDaniel is imagined as the tiny turd. Cade Otton's habit of taking huge hits becomes an invented rule allowing defenders to lift—but not slam—a pass catcher above a 250-pound threshold; Achane may be thrown but must be caught. A general Kenneth Walker discussion reaches an identity crisis as the hosts repeatedly ask 'What are you?' while Seattle gives Zach Charbonnet the goal-line work. An unnamed host accepts an upcoming Wheel of Shame spin after predicting 43 Rhamondre Stevenson rushing yards. TreVeyon Henderson then freezes in an empty pass-protection stance like a disconnected controller, ready to block nobody while overthinking coaching criticism; the diagnosis is contrasted with Coach Guns Mahoney's correct-and-build-them-back-up approach.
No, dude, I'm not going to get a head injury for you. Yeah. I mean, like, there was... Calvin Ridley got hurt, too. Judy had one where it was... He's running a post right into the safety. And Gabriel's like, Sure, here you go. And Judy's like... Yeah, go catch this. And Judy's like, No, I'm not doing that. Yeah. And I don't blame him. Like, you can't... You cannot throw those. That was News and Notes sponsored by Progressive Insurance. Quote today at Progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company affiliates and third-party insurers. Not available in all states or situations. Coverage subject to policy terms, limits, and conditions.
We'll take a break. We'll get into the studs. This episode is supported by PrizePix. You make decisions every day, but on PrizePix, being right can get you paid. Don't miss any of the excitement this football season on PrizePix, where it's good to be right. PrizePix is the only app that offers stacks, meaning you can pick the same player up to three times in the same lineup. I've been doing that to great success with Justin Herbert. You want to pick more of a quarterback's passing yards and rushing yards and touchdowns? Now you can do them all in the same lineup, only on PrizePix.
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And when life throws an audible like that fumble in the driveway or a hailstorm at home, Progressive is there with 24-7 support. Don't get caught without a great backup. Visit Progressive.com to quote today. Progressive casualty insurance company affiliates and third-party issuers. Not available in all states or situations. Coverage subject to term policy limits and conditions. Well, we did have some impressive performances this week. Let's talk about them. This week's Fantasy Stud Muffins. Presented by Lowe's. Well, the number one passer and running back for the Kansas City Chiefs, Patrick Muffin. Mahomes came in at number one. Goodness gracious. He is the number one quarterback on the season.
Do you guys realize that? I did not. But it makes sense after. Number one in points per game? That would be. Just on the course of the season, total points. I don't know if it's per game or not. Okay. I'll look it up. He's played so well. Yeah. And held that team together. With Rice back. Man. Yeah, I mean, they're going to be great. The faithful that stayed true to Mahomes. I do not count myself as one. I was like, I'm done with this. He is number one in points per game. Lamar Jackson, number two. Josh Allen, number three. So after that performance, he's at 31.3 points per game.
Wow. Drake May was number two on the week. 18 for 26 for 261 and 3. Two of those went to Kayshawn Booty. Yep. Which is pretty cool. I don't know if you saw his interview either. But just talking about how he had to, like he was a completely different person three, four years ago. Had to change everything about his life. Good for him. And now he's turning it around, becoming a really valuable player. If you don't know the story of Booty, he was a highly recruited player. He was like going to be at LSU. He was going to be like our next big thing.
And then things just kind of fell apart for him. Was a really late draft pick. And so it's cool to see. Jackson Dart, 23.6 fantasy points. Daniel Jones is number four. Dak was number five. Dak staying in the top five. They did lose against Carolina because they don't have a defense. Man, it is my favorite part of football this year is Dallas's defense. It's delightful. Yeah. Any team they play can score 30. It's just great. That was Bryce Young on the other side. Well, you can't stop Carolina with Rico. Yeah. Oh, it's so great. Like Chuba's in trouble. Oh, that was big trouble.
It's a real issue because you can't just bench Rico. But also Chuba was doing great and is paid to be their main starter. So it's like, will this turn into a 50-50 split? If Chuba's lucky. You think? I do. Yeah. As long as the production is what it is right now. I mean, he is running like a bat out of hell. I mean, he is – his tail's on fire. He had – I love Rico. So this is just – Yeah, you do. And this is – you can victory lap all you want. Yeah, you have to do this. You deserve it.
It feels so much fun and so good watching it happen. But – No, let me help you for a second. Oh, please. Okay. These are two games where he had – I made the joke he won't get to 200 yards. Which he didn't. I said he'll only get to 180 on the show, and that's what he got to. Yeah. 180 and 200 is insane. But if you look at all his starts, if you accumulate his starts between Dallas and now, and you – I think it's the last eight or ten of them, and you run him towards the season, he's on pace for 2,000 yards rushing.
Yeah, I have the lines here from his last nine starts. This was a tweet from Brett Whitefield. 19 for 86. 22 for 112. 18 for 131. 25 for 149. 13 for 23. Bad game. 23 for 104. 22 for 72. 23 for 206. And 20 for 183. He's just – he's dominating. The – the Javante being back. Great story. Feels good. But the fact that, like, no one saw what Rico did at the end of last season, talking to the NFL. Like, Dallas – I don't know what the negotiations were, but clearly they didn't want him back enough.
He had to go to Carolina on, like, a one-year – I don't know. He's making nothing there. It was – Well, number one on the – Man, Rico's got to feel 10 feet tall right now. Number one on the week for the second consecutive week. Cam Scadaboo at number two. Josh Jacobs at number three. Yeah, my man. Jason's trade-four candidate. Yeah, my man. Devon A. Chan at number four. And Jonathan Taylor at number five. Jacobs had two rushing touchdowns, five for 57 through the air. We had talked about Cincinnati, right? And you knew Jacobs was set up. Jonathan Taylor did his thing per usual.
And Devon A. Chan. Just a shining star in a really negative – In a toilet. It's like a golden nugget in a toilet. It's like, do you want – Would you go in and get it? I think you need to go get it. It's gold. Did somebody just go number two in there, though? Yeah, you can wash your hands. Of course they did. That's what they do in toilets. Was it Mike Big Daniel that went number two in that toilet? Yeah, so it's a little tiny turd. Hey. That team is in so much trouble. Because it's too much fun. Who has more rushing yards on the year?
You can do whatever you want, Mike. Rico Dowdle. Oh, my gosh. Or Saquon Barkley. It has to be Rico. Yeah. Because Saquon is not on pace for 1,000 yards right now. Yeah, Saquon is at 325 yards in six full starts. Rico has started twice. He has 472 rushing yards. Kamani Vidal, 18 for 124. And looked good. Yeah. Which is what he looked the week before. That's why I liked Vidal. I thought what I saw in the field. You said you liked him better than Haskins, despite the fact that he wasn't starting before the injury happened to Amari and Hampton. I mean, you had reports going into the morning.
Yeah, Sunday morning. That said big beat writers out there. Well, first they said Bam Knight was the starter. And then they said... Which Bam Knight did play more, I think. He played more. He played over Demarcato. Yeah, but it wasn't like over Michael Carter. Well, I'll look that up. But I think he had more touches and stuff. I don't think so. But you can look at that. But Kamani Vidal, right before the game, it's like, Hassan Haskins will be the lead back, the feature back. No, it was Vidal. Yeah, they got us good. Christian McCaffrey got his first rushing touchdown.
Still just 17 for 54 on the ground. They cannot run block right now. No, they cannot. Okay, so Michael Carter, nine carries, five targets. Bam Knight, 11 carries, two targets. Okay, he got hurt though. Carter? No, no, no. Bam Knight got hurt. Yeah, I think that report actually ended up being correct. He did score the touchdown. But it didn't really... Oh, man, he's running back 12 right now? Well, and Carter was literally the first drive he was out there. So it was a little confusing. Yes. Kyron got back into the end zone like he always does. Ashton Gentry... Your trade for Canada.
Yeah, so much work. I mean, 23 for 75 and one. They managed to beat the Titans. I mean, the Titans are... Abysmal. Awful. Abysmal. They are... Oh, man. Do the Titans play the Jets this year? Does that game exist? Because... I do... We got to look at the schedule. But... Reeves... Rich Rebar tweeted this out. Pointed it out to us. Next week, as of right now, the New York Jets and the Cleveland Browns are favored. What? To win. To win their game. Their actual... So one of them plays the Titans. What's the schedule for those two teams? The schedule. Carolina.
The Jets play Carolina. At home, then. At home. Of course. And the Browns play the Dolphins. Oh, neither of those teams is winning. No, just... I'm just telling you what it opened at. That's... I mean, that's... Those teams... If they played each other... You know how they have a mute button on a remote? They need one that also turns the screen off. Oh, they've got... They do. It's a power button. No, no, no. I want the power on. But I want it blacked out and muted. So... Symbolically... Just blotching nothing. Versus that game. All right. Top five wide receivers of the week.
George Pickens continues his absolute money-making scheme. I mean, he is... He is going to get $100 million. Nine for... The injury... For 168 and a touchdown. Yeah. On only 11 targets. And still doing what he always does with drawing deep pass interference yardage as well. That doesn't show up here. That is the most... Like, George Pickens can thank CeeDee Lamb's ankle. Yes. For $100 million. Yes. Well, I mean, the fact that he has balled out. He had to go do it. But the... But the way Dak's playing and being the only target, it's awesome. The timing has worked out. He'll still be good when CeeDee returns.
It's just... You won't be... We won't be talking about him as number one every week. JSN. Oh, boy. He's good. Do we believe now? I mean, I think we've believed for a while. Yeah. But he is a true alpha. And I just love how he can do it in all parts of the field. You know, he gets his deep shots, too. He reminds me a lot of CeeDee Lamb in the sense that they move him around. They'll play him in the slot. They'll play him outside. He does short area stuff. And then he goes across the field deep down. You know, he's doing everything.
And also, Sam Darnold is, I think, playing good football. Yes. He's not going away. This is... Darnold is young enough and has a good contract here. So there's stability for the Seahawks here. You realize JSN was 54% of the targets? Oh, delightful. Yeah. I mean, he's just... There was a point... Was that the game? Yeah. There was a point in that game, I think, that Darnold had 117 passing yards. And JSN had 117 receiving yards. That makes sense. Like, it was... They were completely the only receptions of the game. Why go to other people if it works? You know, I've...
We've said this forever, but, like... Yeah. If you have a CeeDee Lamb or if you've got a Justin Jefferson, like... The best teams... Just throw it to him. It works every play. Just keep doing it. That's what they did with Cooper Cup in Los Angeles. Matthew Stafford knows that lesson better than anybody. Oh, for sure. Calvin, Cooper Cup, Puka. Yeah. We'll see how long that injury is. Devontae Adams is going to get a lot of work. Kayshawn, booty. Two touchdowns. Five for 93. Three. That's a confusing receiving room. Because Demario Douglas caught a long touchdown pass in this game. Diggs disappeared.
Douglas had another one that got called back, right? Yeah. He did. Diggs. Diggs disappeared. Disappeared. Diggs disappeared. I don't know. And then Booty's back. Maybe. Hunter Henry didn't get involved. Like... Drake May is playing great football. We've seen it on film. This is what... You know, talking about him as the start of the week this last week was... He played so good in Buffalo despite having not a great fantasy output. The fantasy output should come. And it did this week. But the issue is he's... You know, to start the year, it's like, oh, okay. So it looks like Booty is the guy.
Is the leading, you know, target. You know, he's going to have the target share. But then it was Douglas. And then it was Diggs. And maybe it's Hunter Henry. I think what it is is it's whoever's going to be open. Yeah. It's the Buffalo Bills. He's going to spread the ball. Exactly. The Buffalo Bills. Like, Josh Allen could be great. Josh Allen could throw for a ton. And you're not sure that you want to start anybody. Because if Coleman doesn't get a touchdown, it's like, it's bad. And I think that's what we're going to have here in New England. Which is you can start them and you can get big games.
But there's absolutely no predictability to who the number one guy is. Jamar Chase, 12 targets, 10 for 94 and a touchdown. That touchdown was redonkulous. It was. It was... Hey, I mean, that is... You got to have hope and optimism. Joe Flacco, I thought, played pretty well. I mean, they... That touchdown was very... Yes. Yes, it was. It was Jamar Chase said, give me that. Yeah, there were two defenders. One that was pretty much just wrestling him mid-reception. And with one arm, his left arm, not even his hand, kind of his arm, that was facing towards the ball, just squeezed it and caught it.
Give me that. I mean... He's so good. One week, but I would be... It's nice to have at least some hope after what we've been experiencing with Jake Browning. So, Ladd McConkie with no huge was very good. Seven for 101. The big play, if you watch the very end of the game. Stopped on a dime. Passed his defender. Did you watch Hassan Haskins on that play by chance? No. It was... If you go back and watch that play... Well, he was in the... He was pass blocking. And then he stayed with the play and started sprinting. The whole field ends up out in front of Ladd McConkie for...
Oh. Or just behind him to cut off the guy. It was just an impressive play and effort for them. And with that, we're going to have to have a Keenan Allen conversation. Yeah, Keenan was... That's three weeks in a row. It was real bad. Did he do the old man thing? Maybe. Where... Maybe. You get off really to a hot start because you're a great football player. And then you run out of steam? It's not too much different in terms of total... Well, I mean, two bad yardage games in there. But he caught a touchdown in the first three weeks.
And then he's been 5 for 37, 5 for 58, 4 for 27. Like, damaging your starting roster. There were a few sigh of relief players. Oh, yeah. Two of them in particular. Maybe three. Brian Thomas Jr., 8 for 90 in a touchdown. There it was. Had one taken off the board. I've been telling people, please just trade for him. He's too good. So this was nice. The other one, Jameson Williams. Yeah. 6 for 66 in a touchdown. It was nice to see that happen. Oh, my God, that beast. Thank you, Jason. You're welcome. Also, Metcalf, 4 for 95 and another touchdown.
And should have had a bomb. I didn't see that play. Oh, dude. He torches his guy. Two of them. He's behind the defense. Bad pass? I mean, five, six, seven yards under thrown. And it was to him. It was like, Rodgers saw it. He only caught four passes on nine targets. You love the nine targets. He scored in four straight. He's been top 10 two straight weeks. Yeah. It's working. Maybe we're turning a corner. He gets the Bengals. That's going to be a great start. I was going to start the week that. Oh, where are you? Yeah. Dibs. But yeah, it was.
I mean, it's right. Two years. Rodgers, two years ago, hits that pass. No problem. It was. It felt real bad. Well, it was kind of a weird week. It was cool that Ted McMillan scored, but he only caught three passes for 29 yards in a game that they won with 30 points. Rico. Yeah. I mean, we don't need to throw. It was. Yeah, you're right. So five targets, three for 29 and two. It was inevitable. Right. And then Dallas got it was the number one tight end. Trey McBride, Tyler Warren, Sam Laporta, Michael Mayer. This this felt like a better week for tight ends because the the top of this list are the