THE UNOFFICIALFOOTBALLERSFAN ARCHIVE↗Transcript links use the exact YouTube video’s clock. Machine transcripts can contain errors.
The episode arrives a day early because the draft workload cannot wait. An unlabeled host says the on-camera IV bag has been removed but a football drip remains attached at all times, inviting catheter jokes before football is declared to be pumping through the veins.
The hosts recall taking a friendly emotional attack position on resident Falcons fan Kyle after Atlanta drafts Michael Penix Jr. at eight. Kyle says his body is present but he is dead, his show-document winners are three crying emojis, and the gag becomes three Penix jerseys: one signed by Kyle for a listener and predicted to arrive tear-covered and salty, one secretly for Kyle, and one for the studio wall.
With the established Falcon said to be sitting in, the hosts ask whether Atlanta's draft disaster requires changing his actual nickname. He refuses, the proposed replacement becomes quail, and the desk condemns quail for walking into traffic with their babies despite being able to fly; Arizona quail hunting is imagined with a camouflaged bowling ball.
Mike's pre-draft devotion to Ben Sinnott pays off when Washington takes him in round two. The desk calls him the Senator, deploys 'I am the Senate,' jokes that Mike's promotion has cost Dynasty-show subscribers, and declares the Washington landing a pick of destiny.
After admitting he forgot Darren Waller news, an unlabeled host immediately withdraws responsibility and blames Kyle, Brooks, Jeremy, the Falcons, and Papa Josh. Production warns that retirement is not official, but the hosts say unofficial status cannot stop the podcast and count the people seated left and right as two sources.
Mike's pre-draft song asks Arizona not to trade out of four or do something dumb. After Marvin Harrison Jr. and Mike's RB1 Trey Benson arrive, the hosts say no pants remain; Mike describes running naked through the streets and needing to be clothed for the YouTube video.
While assessing Blake Corum behind Kyren Williams, the hosts invoke a rule from the prior season's lessons: the Tank Bigsby Clause. Kenneth Walker and Travis Etienne survived similar rookie-back fears, so a proven good player should not automatically be demoted when day-two competition arrives.
A Penix pronunciation sounds dangerous enough that the hosts repeatedly tell listeners to rewind fifteen seconds and inspect the tape. An unlabeled host says the fear of saying the name has already been shared in company Slack, and the desk dissects whether the ending sounded like one syllable or another before giving up.
The draft-week UDK giveaway is extended for another couple of days and explicitly includes a Listener League spot, signed Etienne and Jefferson jerseys, and the Kyle-signed Penix jersey—predicted to arrive covered in tears and salt—announced moments earlier.
The show arrives a day early because the draft workload is so intense that an unlabeled host describes a permanent football IV, complete with catheter banter and football pumping through the veins. Atlanta's Michael Penix Jr. selection creates the episode's dominant crew story: the hosts describe their emotional attack on resident Falcons fan Kyle, Kyle says his body is present but he is dead, and the giveaway expands into three Penix jerseys—one signed by Kyle for a listener, one secretly intended for Kyle, and one destined for the studio wall. The extended UDK giveaway also explicitly includes a Listener League spot and signed Etienne and Jefferson jerseys. When established producer alias the Falcon refuses to abandon his bird identity, the desk spirals into a complaint that Arizona quail waste their gift of flight, travel into traffic with their babies, and can be hunted with camouflaged bowling balls. Mike's pre-draft Ben Sinnott attachment receives its defining language: the Senator, an 'I am the Senate' cue, Washington as a pick of destiny, and a third-round rookie-draft recommendation. The hosts then blame Kyle, Brooks, Jeremy, Papa Josh, and eventually the Falcons for missing Darren Waller news, enlarge the unofficial item in the show document, and call two neighboring hosts sufficient sources for journalistic excellence. Arizona's Harrison-and-Benson draft becomes another Mike spectacle: his earlier song begged the Cardinals not to do something dumb, and the successful picks leave him metaphorically without pants and running naked through the streets. The episode also names the Tank Bigsby Clause—the reminder not to demote a proven incumbent merely because a team drafts a day-two running back. Finally, the desk repeatedly rewinds an unfortunate Penix pronunciation, while an unlabeled host admits posting in company Slack about being terrified every time the name must be said.
It's Christian McCaffrey, but I'm on Jason's side of, I think that this guy will end up the backup that you want to have on your roster. The Carolina Panthers, they spent a first round draft pick, the last pick in the first round trading up for Xavier Leggett, who is going to be utilized all sorts of ways by Dave Canales and Carolina. I have a feeling because Carolina feels like a bit of a condemnation in this draft. I've called it Siberia. Yeah, that's the word. Yep. I think Xavier Leggett and their second round pick, Jonathan Brooks, are both going to be potentially undervalued in specific rookie drafts. And I like both of those guys to contribute. I will say from what I have seen in my few rookie drafts, Brooks is not being undervalued, but Leggett is falling further than.
than a first round wide receiver normally would. Well, you've still got Adam Thiel in there. Obviously, he's 33 years old. He's not the future. But they did trade for Deonté Johnson. So you would imagine DeA Johnson's going to be first in targets. It was interesting. I saw this on Twitter. I don't remember who it was. Forgive me for the shoutout. But talking about, so they traded up one spot. They went from the 33 to the 32 to go from the second round to the first round. And the theory is since it took. Xavier will get five years to break out in college. They need that fifth year option for his NFL breakouts. Yeah, it'll be interesting to see how he's utilized. He's a super athlete. And, you know, Dave Canales, I have a lot of confidence in turning things around. Jonathan Brooks, first running back off the board. Much higher than people thought, people were assuming. Third round. That the 56 where the cowboys were picking would be the first running back taken.
Which it would have been had Jerry Jones not come out and talked about his adoration. So Jonathan Brooks arrives with, I think, a very clear path to the job. I mean, Chuba Hubbard, Chuba Hubbard was thrust into being the starter and performed pretty well considering. But this was not the default state that Carolina Panthers wanted to be in. It was going to be Miles Sanders who did nothing. Chuba Hubbard, he profiles as what he was with Christian McCaffrey, a backup to me. and Jonathan Brooks profiles as a in every down runner. Listening to Canales talk about the archetype that he's looking for. He even talked about how they used Rashad White. This is so good for fantasy football in the sense that they want a back that will leak out and has great hands. Jonathan Brooks is a great pass catcher. I don't worry at all that he can't do what Rashad White did and just take a million dumpoffs. I love it. They want him to...
be on the field all the time. They want a three-down back who can mask whether it's a run or a pass, and they want to commit to the run. I actually love this landing spot for Jonathan Brooks, how early it was, the draft capital, the talent. The only big fear from a redraft perspective to me is simply what is his timeline coming back from the ACL? You know, it's like, oh, he's supposed to be ready for training camp. Great. If he's at training camp and he's doing everything. from the get-go, fine. But he did have a late ACL tear. You would imagine they bring him along slower. This is not a team that needs to come out hot out of the gates. No, that makes sense. You know, so I think at the beginning of the year, you'll see a lot of Miles Sanders. Camp will tell us a lot. Yes, yes. We'll learn. But there, Miles Sanders has paid a lot of money.
We're going to talk about the Falcons again. I'm laughing because Kyle put his own thoughts on the fantasy winners and losers for the Falcons. The winners, he put three tier emojis. And the losers, he put the city of Atlanta, Kurt Cousins, and anybody who has faith and reason and logic. Michael Pennix Jr. goes eighth overall. Michael Pennix Jr. goes eighth overall. Congratulations, Michael. I mean, that just stinks so much for him. It does. It's like, and now he's, now he's this, now he's our joke, you know? And it's like, it's not your fault. All you did was play great football. You did everything you were supposed to do. Can you like drafted in the top 10? No one would ever draft up in the top 10 in the 20s. Sure. Aaron, Rogers, Jordan, love, we'll do that. I want panics to go demand a trade. I want him to just, you know, the truth is. The truth is he's probably playing in two years.
three no two or less you're saying he starts next season or you're saying after two after two oh that's what i meant by three yeah yeah i think in three years i'm just saying the worst case scenario i think for michael pinnicks is that he's playing after two years i said pinnicks i said pinnick i don't know who's laughing pinnicks it's a little sly yeah sure i mean look the tape the tape is recorded so Anyone can hit that back 15 seconds to find out. I don't know. Listen, the best thing that happened to this show, leave a comment and you too. Let me know what he said. I don't know. This was a blessing to the show because we might not have to say that name again for two years. Yeah. Yeah, it was a problem. I'm telling you this. This is not a joke.
I've shared this in our company Slack. Every time I go to say his name, I am terrified. I am like, oh, man, I got to do this again. Why is that? It's just because. Rewind, you'll find, you'll know why. Hit that back 15 a couple times. Look, there's no. There is no. No, I did not. Oh, man, it sounded very ussy. Sounded like an ass, not next? I can't wait to hear it. Yeah, well, you're going to. We'll hear it all right. We're done. Talk about the Falcons. Defensive linemen, edge, D-line, linebacker. Genuinely. Sixth round running back. Genuinely, a huge winner of this draft, I think, is Drake London. Yeah. Drake London had the chance. And Darnell Mooney. Sure, and Darnell Mooney for sure, because O'Donzee was right there. Because they should have taken Roma Dunzee. Yeah, I mean, that's why he's a winner. Yeah, or Turner if they want a defense, you know.
I don't know, something to help the team. But obviously Drake London now, and Kyle Pitts, those two guys, I think stay with great target market shares in an offense that's going to throw the ball a lot more and a lot better with Kirk Cousins. And so those are huge winners from this draft because it should have and could have gone differently. The Saints spent a fifth round pick on Spencer Rattler. He fell in the draft. We thought that they would add maybe a wide receiver. They did not have high draft capital. opportunities. They had a first and second round pick. They spent on defense and an offensive tackle. And they had massive tackle needs. So their hands were tied. Yeah. And they got a great one at pick 14. But so Rashid Shaheed does come away a winner in this draft. Michael Thomas is gone. Shaheed is very talented and clearly has a rapport with Derek Carr. And which, look, not everybody wants that, but he has it. So there you go. And two of the best names in the draft.
They got Kool-Aid. Yeah. Kool-Aid McKinstree. That's, that's awesome. And then Bub. Bub. Bub means. Business. Yeah, Mike. I feel like Spencer Rattler is a pretty cool name as well. Yeah. It's not bad. Yeah. Good job, Saints. Yeah. Focus on what's important. Look, that's, I mean, when I'm at the, when I'm playing the ponies, I pick the name I like the best. That's how you're supposed to do it. So you're, you're taking Kool-Aid. Yeah, yeah, in round two. His name is Kool-Aid. It's awesome. All right, Tampa. Third round pick on a whiteout, Jalen McMillan. This, I, this one feels like. Is this a replacement for Chris Godwin? For Chris Godwin, that feels like the clock is ticking. Yeah. And then Bucky Irving in the fourth, which I'm going to remind Jason what he said at the top. Don't overreact.
And we did it with Tampa already in the past, by the way. He said don't overreact when a player is really good. Which Rashad White is, Mike. How dare you? But Bucky a ring is a pass catching running back they took in the fourth round. Jason, is Rashad White really good. Rashad White is very serviceable. He's so good that Dave Canales references him as something to replace on his new team. That's how good he is. He is an exceptional. pass catcher. He is very, very, that's the scary part. But that's not scary because Rashad White's that good at that position. I'd have been much more scared with a first and second down back that jacks up Rashad White's first and second down opportunity. Sure. And obviously with Canales being gone, we don't know the system and how they're going to deploy these running backs differently. Sean Vaughn, everybody. Don't do it. Don't do it again. Bucky Irvin is a talented back catching the ball, very explosive in short areas, not a long.
Pinix Jr. Not a long-speed guy, but yeah, I'm not going to overreact to this. Rashad White's still the dude, but they can have someone else come in and catch the ball out of the backfield now. They couldn't last year. They did re-sign Chase Edmonds. They see? Yep, proved it. All right, AFC draft recap on Thursday. And a reminder, I'm extending, I'm arbitrarily extending our deadline because I want to give a sign Kyle Borgononi, Michael Pennix, Jr., Jersey out. So UltimateDraftKid.com. We'll do that giveaway on Tuesday. And there you go. Hopefully you enjoyed the early episode, the Dynasty Pass, getting all the updates at UltimateDraftKid.com. People are going to be going back in the show and listening to that. That's the first thing I'm doing. We're going to find out. Let's wrap this up. We've got to get there recording out. All right. Goodbye. Goodbye. Thank you for listening to another episode of the Fantasy Footballers podcast.
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