THE UNOFFICIALFOOTBALLERSFAN ARCHIVE↗Transcript links use the exact YouTube video’s clock. Machine transcripts can contain errors.
A tied Fantasy Faceoff has no Sunday or Monday game to break it, so the hosts throw pistachios toward a wall. A wall hit or out-of-bounds toss eliminates a player; Jason says he went out of bounds twice, loses after three rounds, and is sent to shame.
Jason spins the Wheel of Shame after the pistachio loss and gets the seventh-inning stretch. The desk treats the baseball outcome as an excuse to turn the host who mocked baseball into a player: jersey, cap, eye black, Cracker Jack, glove, Rob Lowe comparison, and a claim that he may need to get into baseball. Direct visual review confirms the real green wheel and the full costume-and-prop staging.
When asked about a last-place player refusing a punishment, the hosts say the consequence must have been agreed before the season. If it was, the player either follows through or is out of the league; they explicitly reject forcing a person who voted no into a tattoo punishment.
Papa Josh returns to the office and is immediately accused of bragging about escape-room ability. He says he has never failed an escape room and never taken a clue; the hosts separately say he is actually good at them, a puzzle guy, and connect that ability to building an incredible dynasty team.
Asked which long-lost show drop should return, the hosts name Booty Scoot and Cam Newton and scrumptious Devin, ask Al to find one, and say Kyle's Dynasty Podcast segment drops can unexpectedly reveal old Fantasy Footballers audio that Mike no longer remembers making.
The three hosts begin off-season baseball ignorance with Mike in a Suns hat and D-backs hoodie, then reveal that a tied Fantasy Faceoff was settled by tossing pistachios closest to a wall without touching it; Jason loses after two out-of-bounds throws. A listener asks about a league member refusing last-place punishment, and the desk treats it as a league-ejection issue when the consequence was agreed before the season, while rejecting coercive punishments such as a tattoo for someone who never consented. The show also remembers lost sound drops—Booty Scoot and Cam Newton, scrumptious Devin—and tells Al to search the archive; Kyle's Dynasty Podcast segment drops routinely surprise Mike. Papa Josh claims he has never failed an escape room or taken a clue, and the hosts call him an actual puzzle guy whose incredible dynasty team fits the trait. At the Wheel of Shame, a physical green wheel lands on seventh-inning stretch/baseball: Jason is dressed in a pinstriped jersey and cap, gets eye black, Cracker Jack, and a glove, and is mocked as both Rob Lowe and Smalls while pretending to become a baseball fan. Visual review confirms the real spinning wheel and all of those desk-stage props.
Here's a question. Christian Bjorn writing in, what is the long-lost drop? What is one long-lost drop you'd like to bring back? Nice. I have one. There's a long-lost drop? Like a show drop. One of my favorites, for sure, was Booty Scoot and Cam Newton. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just super. If you have that over there somewhere, Al, maybe you can find it. That's just one of the ones that I loved, and then we had a good animation with it. oh i've got mine for sure he is uh he's not down oh oh david has scrumptious devon that's a good drop all right now my turn scrumptious do we have devon i'm sure um no that's that's great i don't have anything mike if you think oh on let us know mike has a bad memory yeah yeah that's true i would the if you like long lost drops check out our dynasty podcast
Kyle the Borgogan is frequently surprising me with a. Every segment. A segment drop. I'm like, I must have made that at some point because that is a fantasy footballer's drop that I don't recall making. Yeah, we've done this a while. We've done this a while. Um, okay. Maddie wants to know what pets you guys have at home, including names, please. Rocky and Sugar. Some, uh, golden doodles. they're about 10 11 years old and pepper a boy and a girl oh no pooper is i got i got rid of pooper i get punting him off a bridge like baxter right into jeremy grantham's house uh we have one puppy named copper he's not a puppy no he's like five he's a dog yeah i have two burnadoodles i have daisy and then rufus who is we just wait him he was supposed to be the runt
And we were, like, we bought a Bernadoodle that was going to be 50, 60 pounds. He weighs 110 pounds, guys. What are you feeding him, huh? Dog food? And whatever he finds. And whatever else. Yeah, he does like a cloth. Oh, socks. A lot of new towels. Did you have to get this one like, something removed from their stomach? Yeah, he was the one we had to go put him under the knife. We've all been there. I haven't. Really? No. You must not leave things out enough. We do leave things out. I've seen how thin your dog is. You've trained him. We have trained him. That's it. You don't eat. He's taking stuff off the kitchen table before. You got to watch out. I guess technically we didn't have to remove. I'm a complete liar. He didn't eat. He didn't eat socks. But he did get a hold of some like gum with xylataw. And he had to go to take him to the vet and spend that sweet, sweet vet money. Emergency vet money. You could charge.
anything you want yeah oh it'll be two million dollars but we can give you alone thousand pounds of diamonds and we'll save your dog in issue we got to figure out with vets because i'm not taking i get it very expensive tons of time to like to become a actual veteran veteran veteran why can i say that word veterinarian i want you to do it yeah and i get that however you're in the business of saving animals and you're like I'd really like to save your dog. It's going to cost you $2,000. You're like, I don't have that. Like, oh, then I can't save your dog. I mean, that is unfortunate. I've got a bad story, good story. We took our dog Rocky and he ate a skewer. Like, oh, like a BBQ skewer. Yeah, a BBQ skewer. Um, and it came out from the inside, like through the side. Like,
okay like brought out oh no it had a sharp tip and so we bring him into the vet that cleans it up says he's gonna need this surgery it's gonna be it was outrageous it like I wish it was 2,000 it was closer to 10,000 oh and I was like he seems like he's doing okay let me just yank that thing out we took him home he never went back he's totally fine oh man you totally fine wait wait wait did the skewer stay in no we did no the skewer came out before even before we took him in out the side or out the side okay so he had like a perforation in a hole in his intestine they said he was gonna die basically they're like yeah he needs this surgery and it's gonna be very complicated because of x y and z you said i said i said i don't believe you said you said i'll take those odds i said yeah i said
I call your bluff. He said, I'll bet you $10,000. He's going to be fine. He's going to live. And you know what? I'm $10,000 richer. Oh my. Oh my goodness. That's why I said it was a bad story, good story. Yeah, a bad story. That one's outrageous. How do you make that decision to be like, nah, I'm good. Did you go back to the vet? If he dies. He dies. In your face. Rocky, jump up on this table. Show what you got. Wow. Yeah. I figured after the perforation, you would have just given him to Al. I would have if he started going downhill, but he looked good. Oh, my gosh. Okay. This is a fantasy football question from SDP. Last place is not following through on the punishment. Oh, how do we proceed? That's a boot from league. Yeah. I'll say this, obviously.
All last place punishments. There's a way to do this, which is everyone agrees before the season. Yes, they do. If that happened and everybody signed up for it, you do it or you're out. Now, it can't, I agree with you. Like sometimes I've seen leagues where it's like the majority voted that we get a tattoo. But the guy who voted no is last place. You can't do something like that. That is a bridge too far. You can't force someone against their will. But you're right, Andy. If this was agreed upon known about. They signed up for the league. This is them saying, I don't, oh, you know what? I don't want to be in this league. Yep, which is, it's lame, man. Like that's part, it's part of it. It's part of what makes your league awesome. Yeah. Go put the clown makeup on, go stand on the corner, whatever you got to do. Eat the pancakes. Just. Yeah. You can't, you can't bow out now. Be hunted by 11 other men with paintball guns on a paintball course. Right. Without a gun.
You're like, I lost... Jump in the lion's den, you know? I'm not paying my dues this year. Yeah. Like, this is... Come on, people. All right. Let me see where we want to go. A question from Uncle Wegg on X. Keep trade cut. Salty, spicy, sweet. Cutting spicy, because I'm a baby. I'm with you on that. Compared to the other two, which are white. I like spice enough, but get out of my life. Then it's salty and sweet. That's tough. that's real oh my gosh I think you know where I'll go oh you're gonna keep the sweet really yeah because of solely because of ice cream because of ice cream which is is sweet I feel like I'm gonna keep the salty even though I love do not hear what I'm not saying I'm gonna keep salty and sweet I'm basically keeping steaks here I am keeping the spicy
oh yeah i can yeah that makes sense the this is why we're a good trifecta yeah oh wait we got i'm a salty and spicy sweet you're the spicy that's pretty good it's spicy is really a young man's game i was gonna say you're but i still would prefer it you're gonna end up in a human vet with for your uh digestive they charge just as much yeah they do but they have to save you because you're a person you know what i mean I guess you don't love your dog. I wouldn't have thought he could be just fine with a skewer. Well, he didn't have the skewer anymore. Right. Did you like flex seal it? No. Just slap this. You got to. The only way to administer it is certainly to have it in your hand and just. It's just oozing, leaking. Puses him out on the lake. No, anymore. Yeah. I could stand on him. He floats.
What's funny is I think the flex seal guys listen to this show because we've heard from them before. Oh my gosh. Look, new idea for your next commercial. Okay. Flex seal bandages. I like the idea of the old bandages. Just a huge wound. Oh yeah. Ricky Pierce saw. Oh my gosh. Brian Robinson. Just flex seal it. Human flex seal. Yeah. Okay. Because hey, flex seal guys, you can charge. Way more for that product. Yes, you can. Same product. Just put it in a different packaging. Yeah. For vets and for human vets and 10 grand a roll. Human vets are doctors. Yes. But we call them human vets. Isaac wants to know your favorite Batman. Christian Bell. I mean, obviously, it's Christian Bail. Michael Keaton. Yeah. I love Michael Keaton. I love Michael Keaton. And I love Michael Keaton. Swear to me. He was that Michael Keaton was the best one.
And then- Until Christian Bale showed up. You guys know my thoughts on Christian Bale, the Christian Bail Batman. You just don't like the voice. I don't like the voice. I don't like the first movie where he can push a button on his boot and bats get summoned to him. Ludacris movie. Do you remember what the other Batman's? Outstanding movies. Hyper. Great. I mean, Vicki Vale just wakes up and he's just hanging upside down. That's true. What is he doing? Stretching. But the billionaire can't come up with the device on his side down too. To move? I don't know. He wasn't just hanging out there while people sleep. Also, recency bias. Also, he's like the man's a billionaire. He doesn't got no WD 40. Like when he's hanging upside down. Stupid memory, man. For stuff like this where he can win an argument. No one. No one even listening is like, I don't remember. I can assume I know what you're talking about from the movie. I don't remember it.
Tactical Gator writes in, what player was your biggest regret last season? So this past season. Oh, that's a good question. Hmm. Give me a while on this one, guys. Uh, I think, I mean the. I'm going to go Caleb Johnson. Oh. Now he did finish with a very nice 69 rushing yards, uh, but I don't feel like he was a good fancy. Did you, you were counting on more than that? I was. People were asking me yesterday on the card stream whether or not, because we had some Caleb Johnson curse to get rid of. Give me that. And they were wondering what the future holds. And I was like, well, Gainwell's a free agent. Yeah. Rogers might be gone. Gainwell might be gone forward. It'll be interesting. Do you have never wrong just early. I was very much on the tank Bigsby side of the Bigsby versus ETN. Yeah, I was on your side too. And then, uh,
They traded him. And he didn't get to play because he was behind Sequin Barclay. And then ETN was quite good. I'm just looking down at the bottom of our fantasy scoring list to see what potential big regrets that I had in this situation. I was definitely with you on that one. Joe Mixen never played. That's a shame. But I don't think we were really. No, towards the end of the year, we were pretty out. Did we believe in Brian Thomas Jr.? I did. for sure yeah i i'm sure that one is still don't take my lack of a definitive answer to not mean there's a bunch of answers for me but i don't have one that's like jumping out as um brian thomas junior one is insane yeah insane it's like jefferson not his fault brian thomas junior seemingly 100% his fault yeah yeah he started the year getting
exactly what you want. Hyper targets. I mean, Brian Thomas Jr. was, let me pull up his game log. Seven targets week one. 12 targets week two, six, seven. Just it went. I mean, we get the spray bottle out, Jason. I mean, he was on pace for. Yeah, take care of it, Mike. You literally have a spray bottle. Yeah, we got a spray bottle. You do that again. You're in big trouble. I was just reading his box score of targets. Very animated reading. For the first six games played, he was on pace for 136 targets. If you said before the season, I mean, Trevor Lawrence is going to play well. He's going to have 136 targets. You'd be like, oh, yeah, this is a top 10 wide receiver, like for sure. But he stunk and couldn't catch the ball. I kind of like Mason Taylor. I mean, that one didn't work out too well. Oh, dude, do you, did you guys do your votes for a footie awards? I did.
Do you think... I think he's got a shot. Do you think Mason Taylor's going to win that award? He's got a shot. It's too early. Too early to tell. But I will remind... There's a good opportunity to remind the Footclan if you did not listen to last episode. The Footy Awards are being voted on right now at footy awards.com. Go there. Cast your vote on all of the in-season awards. And next... What's the domain? Footy Awards. There you go.com. And then, yeah, well, our next episode, we will have the big footies episode. Did you guys know Papa Josh has never failed an escape room? And never taken a single clue. Let me tell you something, Josh. I didn't bring it up. I've never failed an escape room. Whoa. Mike, have you? Yes. Oh, okay. I have never failed an escape room. I've probably done eight of them. I've never failed. We've had clues, but we've never. The one I failed with my friends was.
We got all the way, and we're at the end. I take no pride in it, by the way. With, I mean, probably 15 minutes of the hour left. And then it turns out we had just one of the safes had opened, and there was another thing inside of a... Oh, that you didn't. Yeah, that was just out of visibility. Papa Josh is actually good at them. I will say that. Yeah, he's a puzzle guy. He's a puzzle guy. He's made to get hyped up for those. That's why he built. such an incredible dynasty team he the puzzle he put all the pieces together the pieces together oh my god too far my yeah uh kyle edgar can say what the champ wants to say Kyle Edgar writes in how do people you meet react when it comes to small talk about what you do for a living
when it comes up in small talk about what you do for a living oh how do people react when we tell them what we oh man we do fantasy football podcasting like we're poor i do not small talk yes yeah i don't small talk about my job and there's like what you'm like oh you don't tell them i i start with instruction i no no i start with uh like sports media oh see that's smart and then if they want to pull the layers back then we'll get into it but Yeah, people are like, I do. People actually don't care. If you say I do a fantasy football podcast, I'd be like, oh, cool. What do you do for? Yeah, what are you? Yeah. The problem, you guys know I'm a talker. Yeah. You guys know a small talk for me is the life story. I get somebody's life story. So every conversation for me ends up with like, I end up with the same cliche. Like, yeah, I never thought I could make a living doing that. That's pretty much what comes up. But best wing flavor. Thomas wants to know. Best wing flavor. And do you like flats or drumsticks?
Flats because I grew up. Drumsticks are for children. And that's fine. Children love drumsticks. I second that. Both are delicious. Both are great. Flats. I want to know what the deucers are flat. I do just make a binary choice. I am on the side of flats. I was on drumsticks specifically for I can eat a drumstick and like be like face clean. You know, like, I get you a 12 of wings and have very minimal cleanup where like flats. The flats are messy. It's a bit of a messier. What's the votes back there in Ducers Alley? It's all flats for me. Papa Josh. He's a drumstick fan. Oh, boneless. Oh, the chicken nuggets. They're delicious. Matt. Flats. Okay. Oh, we're. Then flavors. I mean, I'm boneless. I'm still more of a, I prefer like a buffalo, a medium or hot.
But like a good dry rub. Dude, lemon pepper. Yeah, on the dry rub. Lemon pepper is moving up the charts, guys. I am definitely. Lemon pepper better be a dry rub. It is. Yeah, I know. I know. I'm just saying, if you dip that thing in lemon, I don't think I'm in. I am, I am a medium buffalo, but I want it to be a sweeter buffalo, like the best place here in Arizona. Oh, like a honey sweet. Golden medium at Zips. Ooh. The best wings in the world. All right. Our Instagram question from G. Stroh, favorite new TV show? I'll say pluribus because I just started watching it. I'm just seeing how you were going to say the name of the show. Yeah, pluribus. Let's see. It's on the dollar if you need to reference it. E pluribus unum. Yeah. No, we watched it. I'm only three episodes in, but I've loved all three. Yeah, that's good. I watched Mr. Deeds.
Is that a TV show? No. That's the movie? That's what you watch. I don't watch. I don't watch that. The 2002 hit Adam. The Sandler movie has one of these. Mr. Deeds. Incredibly underrated and not talked about enough. That movie is very funny. Sweet mercy. All right. We're going to take another break. All right. A couple more questions and we'll jump into the fantasy face off. Jansen wants to know have we ever been to Canada. And what was your favorite part if you have? We. We've been to Canada. I've been there. Shout out Mikey Singer. I've only been there. Have you guys been there once? I've been there one additional time. Okay. You have a bonus? We went once. One of our very first ever live recordings was for, we got hit up and said, hey, I'm going to put on this huge fantasy football expo. It's up in Canada. I want you guys to come be the featured speakers, do a show. You know, we'll cover.
your travel and give you a little bit extra money to come do it. We're like, that sounds pretty freaking awesome. Outskirts of Toronto. Which the beginning of that story starts with us Googling, hey, do you need a passport to go to Canada? And ladies and gentlemen, whatever the top result is on Google that just comes back. Look into it a little deeper. That is not always a fact. Especially when it comes to international travel. And now with AI, AI just tells you, oh, for sure, this is the answer. It's like, so we were on very much under the impression that it was just cool. You could like the US sound so dumb. The US and Canada is like we got an arrangement. Yeah, we good. We're like us. We're like you. Let's just cross. And about one week before, I think we just.
double checked it. And it was like, oh, no, that doesn't happen anymore. Now you for sure have to have a passport. Which is easy to get in a week, right? If you travel to one of the four destinations in the United States that does like next day passports. Yeah, which one of them happens to be. Did you need one too? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. We all needed a in Tucson, Arizona. There is a place where you can get an expedited passport for situations like that. So we got it. We went up there. Beautiful. venue. I mean, just a huge warehouse full of vendors, foods, a bunch of just massive footprint. Awesome. Awesome. So cool. And about 40 to 50 people. Yeah. You're being generous. The, the show. Yeah. This is like what like a 50,000 square foot place decked out with all these vendors and ain't nobody showed up. Unfortunately, the, um, what fight was that?
That was the Connor McGregor first boxing. Yeah, the McGregor Mayweather. Yeah, the McGregor Mayweather fight was on the same weekend. And yeah, not a lot of people showed up. We still had a really great time and we're happy to be there. But we saw that was our trip to Toronto. Yeah, we saw really nothing of Toronto. Yeah, we were kind of on the outskirts. Yeah, we went to the thing and then we went home. I've been to Victoria. Oh. Canada on a Alaskan cruise. So that, okay, that's the Pacific coast. And my favorite thing there was the, I had some great shrimp. Oh, all right. Yeah, there you go. We'll, we'll jump right into the face-off. Fantasy face-off, presented by prize picks. All right, I talked about it at the top. We all tied. What a loser. Jason, very bad. Oh, that's right. Very bad at tossing pistachios. He's the loser. Okay, give me that wheel. Wheel of.
Shame. Spin that wheel. I have no idea what's coming up. All right. You smell that. Here's Johnny. Seven. Oh, the seventh inning stretch. Oh, baseball. Yeah. My favorite sport. Baseball. Oh, baby. We got a, we got a nice baseball jersey because you know you probably don't have one. Yeah. I love baseball. There you go. That should be able to go on. Is that going to go on? We got you. Mike, if you can take care of this for us. What? Oh, you need some eye black. You need some eye black. We got you some cracker jacks. Are they real? Yeah. Heck yeah. There's a prize. My punishment is I get to eat cracker jacks. Yeah, you get you have cracker jacks and, um, you got a, uh, baseball hat. Uh, you look like Rob Lowe. Yeah. I look like the kid from, uh, the sand lot. Yeah. Smalls. Yeah. Yeah.
We got you a glove too so you can play catch with your paw. There you go. Look at this baseball player. You look like a New York Yankee. I think I got to get into baseball, fellas. If you want to eat those. Cracker Jacks. Thank you, man. Let's go out to a ball game. There you go. Look at that. You can put his finger. I will say this. I love playing catch. I love it. I think it is, I don't know what it is in people and probably mostly men, but just the idea. Just throwing. First guy to wear glasses with eye black. I want to be able to see. Throwing a, throwing a ball in general. Go out with like Jeremy Grantham came over all the time. We'd throw a football in the backyard and play stupid games. Like how many can we do in a row without dropping? We're not a lot of move. Make up stupid rules. Yeah. I never played enough baseball.
ever in my life because I had self-respect and I wanted to be entertained. Yeah. But so because of that, I never really threw around a baseball enough. But when I had the few opportunities where you've got a glove and a baseball, you could throw the thing so hard and not worry. It's awesome. That's the one. I mean, you've got to worry a little bit. Not if you're good at catching, bro. I've got to worry. I'm like, Josh. I'm the best. You never heard somebody describe catch. You know, professional baseball players still get hit in the face. Yeah, not when they're playing catch. Not really, yeah. All right, we've got our lineups for this week, the playoffs. Starting at the quarterback position, I went with Trevor. How old is Cracker Jack? Let me see that. This box looks like it came straight from the 20s. There is. It's probably brand new. There's a prize inside. I'm going to find it. Yeah. Trevor Lawrence, 233 and a half passing yards. I'm taking the more.
I think that game's going to be. You're going with Lawrence? It's going to be pretty active. I'm going with upcoming future MVP, Drake, Drake May, one and a half passing touchdowns, easy peasy. You're taking the more? For the New England quarterback. I'll take the more. I almost took his less on passing attempts. I really loved Bryce Young. How is the cracker? They're delicious. Turns out it's just like caramel corn. It's like baseball is, Cracker Jacks is essentially baseball. Right. Because on the outside, it looks stupid. Old and dated and fun. And then you open it and you eat it. Right. So when you go to a baseball game, you get to eat things. Is it? It's caramel corn and peanuts? Yeah. And a prize. They're very good. Not a sponsor. All right. You're a quarterback. My quarterback. I was going to take. Wait a minute. It's Cracker Jack?
Yeah, I know. Yeah, but if you have some, you have crafty jacks. That makes sense. Yeah, but if it's Pringle, then it's, you, I got Pringles. Yeah, exactly. When you got more than one. That's fine. It could be Cracker Dax. That's actually called Pringles. Yeah, that's Pringles. Anyways, this is a problem. Cracker Jack? I, I originally had Bryce Young, 191 passing yards taking less than that. I think that's a layup. But then I saw this one as a green goblin. And I was like, Heck yeah. Matthew Stafford, his projection as a green goblin is negative half a rushing yard. I'm going more than... I saw that and you are dancing with... I get it. No, but I get it because obviously if he doesn't rush and at the end of the game, he does kneel downs, then I could go under this. I could have less... How often... Yes, I did. He hasn't had less than zero rushing yards in the last five games.
I'm feeling pretty good. Okay. In the last five. That's your green goblin though. You used your green goblin up. I got bad news for you, Jason. Yeah. Week 17 he had zero. That's fine. That's more than that's what I'm saying. Oh, because the projection is negative. The projection is negative point five. Okay. Okay. He doesn't even need to run. He just needs to not kneel down negatively. He does have negative rushing yards in more games than you would believe. Yeah, but not this one. Impressive. All right. Running back. I'm taking Rico Dowdle, 46 and a half rushing yards. Don't you dare? Less. Oh, don't you dare! In your face, my less. The calendar turned over. You kidding me? They're not going to be able to keep up with Rico Dowdle in that game. I'm going to take Mike's guy that he just said he got wrong. I'm going to go with Tank Bigsby. Nine and a half rushing yards.
I'm going more. Richard Priceman. You went with a tank Biggsby. He's been, obviously last week he was awesome in relief of Saquan while they benched guys. He's a good player. But prior to that, they were getting him more and more involved. He's been over the, you know, he's had playoffs. Playoffs, he's had more than 10 rushing yards in most of his recent games. And I do think in the playoffs, they might want to use their best running back. I'm on the opposite side. I think they'll not use them at all. Interesting. I'm going on. a projection with the guy I got wrong of Travis ETN. I will take that Buffalo run funnel defense. 65 and a half yards is all Travis ETN, or I guess rushing only. Yeah, he needs 66, but no ball. With the run funnel? Yeah, no ball. That's ridiculous. Because that's dangerous. Yeah, well, I live. But yeah, more than 65 and half rushing yards for Travis ETN. My green goblin, Jaden Reed of the Packers, two and a half receptions. I'm taking the more. This is wide receiver. I'm going Nico Collins more than 71.5.