THE UNOFFICIALFOOTBALLERSFAN ARCHIVE↗Transcript links use the exact YouTube video’s clock. Machine transcripts can contain errors.
The prerecorded opening card names Brooks/Judge Giamatti, Jeremy/Owl Borland, and Kyle/The Borgogon. The live show later cuts to three human producers during Brooks's 4D-chess reply and again during the Owl roast. Kyle is separately said to be on an airplane, so the third live person remains unidentified rather than being assigned from the old card.
With Andy holding one dollar and his Herbert-less opponent holding none, Papa Josh spends two dollars on Matthew Stafford despite already having two quarterbacks and a playoff bye. His plan is to make Andy burn the dollar, immediately cut Stafford, and deliver him to Andy's opponent. A waiver-priority change saves Andy, but the desk still calls the maneuver legal evil, 4D chess, and the work of an enemy-of-Andy villain.
The hosts explain that every time Jason is eliminated from one league, all of that energy combines and focuses into the few teams still alive, becoming a powerful laser that is dangerous for the actual players.
Faced with Jared Goff, Joe Flacco, and Jake Browning in a must-win game, Mike asks on behalf of a very good friend named Schmike. When the hosts describe living in Schmike's shoes, Mike insists his own shoes are stunning sneakers.
The return of Davis Mills becomes the return of his neck: long but not skinny, a large tree trunk, difficult to fit through a shirt, and therefore best served by buttons or a tank top. The published video never leaves the host desk for a neck image.
A possibly active Nico Collins with a reaggravated calf is simultaneously too difficult to bench and too difficult to start. The hosts ask whether a middle state exists, name the place Sketchtown, and call the result an unfortunately purgatorious start.
The hosts cannot define the agent's Italian hand gesture but all understand its effect. They call him a riot and a wild character, then speculate that four months earlier he may have looked ordinary before deliberately adding a fedora and pinstripes as smart marketing. No agent image appears in the published video.
A claim that Najee Harris cannot be a sexy start becomes an escalating Owl Borland appearance roast. The hosts love Al as a human but reject his aesthetics, compare glasses-off Owl with Jason, say one is ugly and one beautiful, equate Owl with the terrible Indianapolis run defense, and describe him as an innocent pedestrian hit by a brick. The close calls him beautiful only on the inside.
Jason's Ironclad, Locked and Loaded, 100% Guaranteed Boom Boom Kicker verse recaps his 101 butt, lives the Boom Boom journey, puts kickers on a gurney, and selects Buffalo's Tyler Bass. The hosts call it their favorite and say the writing is finally intelligent after roughly thirteen or fourteen stinkers.
Complete storyboard review and targeted published-frame checks show Andy, Jason, and Mike live at the main desk for the full episode, with no fourth host, cardboard bear, Jay Griz image, Jay cue, physical punishment, or live special costume. The prerecorded WITH THE DUCERS card visibly labels Brooks as Judge Giamatti, Jeremy as Owl Borland, and Kyle as The Borgogon. Live camera cuts at approximately 00:07:55 and 01:09:36 show a three-human producer row beneath the DUCERS ALLEY sign; Brooks is the addressed responder in the first cut and wears the same visible red-and-white festive cap described in the surrounding December shows, while the later cut accompanies the named Owl/Al roast. The third live producer is not identified here. Kyle is explicitly said to be on an airplane, so his bumper portrait is not promoted into a live appearance. The central League of Record story casts Papa Josh as an evil genius: he spends $2 on Matthew Stafford so Andy will burn his last $1 blocking the same player, plans to cut Stafford for Andy's quarterback-needy opponent, and almost succeeds until waiver priority flips. The desk calls it legal evil and 4D chess, says Josh can access advanced intelligence only when channeling evil rather than production, and contrasts the villain arc with his pope-like integrity tweets. Elsewhere, Jason's remaining fantasy energy after eliminations is described as combining into a laser dangerous to players; Mike's awful quarterback choice is anonymized as belonging to his friend Schmike; Davis Mills owns a thick tree-trunk neck that allegedly requires button shirts or tank tops; and an active-but-fragile Nico Collins is placed in the newly coined middle ground of Sketchtown, an unfortunately purgatorious start. Tommy DeVito's agent inspires a dialogue-only fedora-and-pinstripe marketing theory—no agent photograph or costume graphic is shown. The Starts of the Week segment turns Najee Harris's lack of sexiness into a sustained Owl Borland appearance roast. The hosts compare Owl with Jason, ask for glasses-off inspection, say Owl looks like the Colts run defense, and reduce him to a man hit by a brick while walking to work; the close apologetically calls Al beautiful only on the inside. Finally, Jason's Ironclad Boom Boom Kicker verse sends kickers to a gurney and selects Tyler Bass. The hosts call it their favorite and their first intelligent writing after thirteen or fourteen stinkers. Direct video confirms a produced green animation with a white horse, a helmeted Jason composite, and cannons; those are graphic elements, not live props or attire. Tomorrow's Wheel of Shame is previewed, but no wheel, spin, costume, or punishment occurs in this episode.
Singletary. Singletary or Jerich McKinnon. Singletary. McKinnon for me. Oh, man. I'll go McKinnon with no. Yeah, assuming no Pacheco, obviously. You know, Papa Josh is really torturing me. What's he doing? Because now every day this week, I'm going to have to refresh to see right before our waivers go through whether Matthew Stafford got dropped every dang day. He was talking about. dropping them taking you out to a camping trip, all expense paid. Okay. No, I'm joking. Okay. You play DeAndre Hopkins for sure. It's not only, it's a revenge game. Yeah. Will Levis. Like, I don't know if you saw Hopkins comments all week. He was talking to Dez Bryant about the fact that like no teams wanted him except for the Patriots and the Titans. He wanted to go where he was wanted. And then he's played with a lot of quarterbacks and they have a player in Will Levis, which I agree with. I mean, like I.
I'm genuinely a Will Levis fan. Will Levis has flashed. He has shown that maybe he could be the future quarterback. I don't know if it will come true, but he's got the arm for it, which is saying something compared to, you know, all the other middling quarterbacks. He can make throws that even if he's less consistent, not as skilled isn't as good at reading the defense as Kenny Pickett. Kenny Pickett could never be. Will Levis because he doesn't have the physical ability. Will Levis can work on his accuracy, work on how he reads a defense, work on those things. Kenny Pickett can't work out enough to get to arm that Will Levis has. It's such a good point. Like I'd rather have Levis than picket as an NFL franchise. Yeah, me too. And so I'm, you know, in the playoffs, I'm not willing to roll Will Levis out there. I mean, if you lost Herbert and you're up against it, you can light a candle. Are you guys all going flacco over Levis?
I would. I think I go Flacco. The matchup, yeah, it's on the Levis side, but it's the stat of their pass heavy. Flacco is going to throw, and the Titans, while Kareem Hunt is a good player when they get inside the five or whatever, when they get inside the five for the Titans. Cream Hunt? Yeah, I'm saying comparing Flacco, it's when they get inside the five of the Titans. It's always going to be. It's Derek Henry time. And maybe you get that one play action on second down and the random tight end scores, but more than likely they're going to keep going with Derek Henry. I think we learned talking through this. We need C.J. Straub back. Come on back, C.J. We need you back. Brevin Jordan? I believe Dalton Schultz is practicing in full. He'll be a play. So Brevin Jordan is, see you later. I mean, you're not starting Brevin Jordan. Yeah, yeah. Darren Waller.
Breaking news. Hey. Designated to return and we'll practice today. That's fun. So there you go. Do Walleris? Would you start the doctor? No. I don't want to talk about the doctor. No, no. Wait on C.J. Stroud and then make choices for Nico and the doctor. Does a walleris enjoy cutlets? And Noah Brown. I'm just, I'm still. I see what you think in there. Sorry. I'm hungry. Probably. Who doesn't? DeVito throwing some cutlets his way? Did you see they had DeVito's, agent. Oh yeah. Nobody knows what this means. Did you know that? Even the agent doesn't know what this means. What the like the Italian? Yeah. This whole like forget about it like this whole the finger. It's like the hand wag. Yeah. Nobody can tell you what it means. And yet everybody knows it's just kind of like. It just means like yeah. It's a way of talking with your hands. I think it just means like Italian.
He needs a towel. I don't know. It's delicious. Almost like a chef's kiss. I don't know. Nobody knows. I was just say his agents like, yeah, it means different things for different people. His agent is a riot. A wild character. Such a smart move marketing wise. Just. Wait, you think he's like dressing up like this? Sure. You don't, I want to look at that agent four months ago. Was he, did he look just like us? And now he's wearing a fedora and a pinstripe. I'm just saying if that's the case, it's smart. He's becoming a fan favorite. It's smart when things are going well. The moment that things turn and you're still doing that stick, it will not work. It's like, remember Lynn Sanity in New York? Now they've got Tommy DeVita. By the way, Godwin didn't practice today either. Right. Chris Godwin. Michael. Michael. Oh, Michael Evans. Come on. Be big.
He's not, that's not his problem. He'll be big. Just don't drop as many passes as he always does. Yeah. Okay. The Jets, 5 and 8, the Dolphins 9 and 4, the D.K. Sportsbook line, Miami minus 8.5. Overrunners 37. This line has changed tremendously. Miami beat him 3413 in week 12. Miami's at home. Tyree Kill situation, Devon A. Chan situation. We talked about them earlier in the news. A. Chan mispractice. Do we have a report today yet? Nope, not yet. Because they're East Coast. A. Chan? I was a little, here's what I was going to say, or I said earlier in the week. I was a little surprised at the utilization of A. Chan on the ground last week. I thought it was low. It was like seven opportunities, 21 for most. I was shocked, especially like the second goal line opportunity. We've seen like A. Chan mixed into those opportunities in that situation. Now makes me wonder, was he dealing with the toe injury during this game?
And all of a sudden that is why he wasn't on the field as much. That's fair. So you have to monitor that. Moster's a lock in this game. The Jets are a very vulnerable defense on the ground and A. Chan's a lock if he's active. Tyree Kill, you play him. The matchup's terrible. But it doesn't matter. You're just playing. You're going to have to play Tyree Kill. And you probably will play Waddle as well. Waddle had a great game against the Jets last time around. But like I'm... You asked that one yesterday and he's the biggest... Question mark to me. He is against the Jets in week 12. He had eight targets, eight receptions, 114 yards, was the wide receiver 16. So you know he can get it done. Now, there is some concern here in addition to the jets and the fact that they shut down wide receivers about the weather. 20 mile an hour winds, sustained 35 mile an hour. Gus. We talked about the weather a little bit last week. Rain, again, rain does not affect passing game by itself.
rain when it comes with a storm that is windy has a massive effect. When winds are above 15 miles an hour, we won't know it now. You just got to check later. But like Tua, like I'm not starting Tua. I looked at Tua's game log compared to a lot of other players. Like if you're looking at- Yeah, you were asking about Howl and Tua. Sam Howell or Tua, it's no question. It should be Sam Howell. Sam Howell has pretty much had like one game since we- three or four where he hasn't scored 20 fantasy points, whereas about half of Tua's games are bad. Fields or Tua? Fields. I think they both have a bad floor. I don't know how high Tua's ceiling really is in a matchup against the Jets with a somewhat banged up Tyree Kill. We've seen him struggle recently. He didn't score 10 fantasy points last week against the Titans. Two weeks before that, he didn't score 10 fantasy points against these jets. So are you benching Guado based on the analysis of Tua?
And the fact that the Jets, the Jets give up on the year, 13.7 fantasy points per game schedule adjusted to the wide receiver. That is insane. I think it's probably more difficult to bench Jalen Waddle. You know, a couple weeks ago, like I said, Tua had 7.8 fantasy points, but that was the same week where Waddle did have a good fantasy output. Tyler Lockett against the Eagles or Waddle. Oh, that one's interesting. I'll think I would go Lockett there. Drake London against the Panthers. I think I'd go Drake London. Man. Jalen Waddle last year was the wide receiver seven. Do you know what he is right now? I would guess 20. Yeah, that's where I would guess. 28. Yeah. So maybe take the seven out of your mind. Yeah, yeah. And start looking at it matchups, like you said. Breece Hall, you play him. Yep. Garrett Wilson, you play him. Yep. We're done. That's the end of that matchups are so easy. Yeah. To beat. Is that what you're right? Actually, this would be my almost upset if.
If I got a button. I think it's very possible as well. Eight and a half is ridiculous. Yeah. But it might, you just might not be able to move the ball on Miami. That's, but isn't Xavier and Howard banged up again? Do we have, I know Kyle's on an airplane somewhere. We'll check him out. I think Xavier and Howard might be banged up. And DeAndre Hopkins destroyed Jalen Ramsey last week. So. All right, you let me know, Brooks. We'll move on to the strengths. David Howard did not participate in Wednesday's practice with a hip injury. It makes me want to think about. It's too late. Yeah. Welcome to Starts of the Week, presented by Purina Pro Plan. My start of the week at quarterback is Russell Wilson. Russell, Wilson. And the soon-to-be 11 and 6th or Denver Broncos, look, they play Detroit. It's not always flashy. Russ gets it done. I like the fact he throws it downfield.
You know, he's been 16 plus points in all but one game this year in six point leagues, which is like a baseline for you. You know Sutton's going to score. And Detroit's defense is like the best matchup for quarterbacks right now. So I'm going to go Russ. I'm going to go with Jordan Love off of a real masterful performance on Monday night football. It was a poo poo Picasso. He was atrocious. And he hasn't been as good on the road. But looking at this week, I do think at home at Lambo. where he's been good, where he's averaging 19 fantasy points a game, where he's averaging 37 passing attempts per game, and he's got a matchup against the Bucks. He's still the quarterback nine on the course of the season. The Buccaneers are allowing 7.7 yards per attempt. That's tied for third highest in the NFL. And since week eight, Tampa Bay is 29th that scheduled justice fantasy points allowed to quarterbacks. Just look at Desmond Ritter. He went hamburger on them this last week. And Desmond Ritter is, well, he's Desmond Ritter.
So I think you can play Jordan Love in week one of the playoffs. I'm going Maddie Stafford against the Manders. Yes. He's on fire, QB7, 8, and 5. Those are the rules. And then the matchup is delightful. The Manders, they are on pace to allow the second most passing touchdowns ever. And they are also allowing the third highest yards per attempt for any team over the last decade. The weapons are healthy. Stafford's in a great spot. So I wanted to bring this up on Stafford. I think that Stafford is the most important fantasy asset this year. On the year? What he's going to do in the playoffs. Everyone is picking him up to play him. He is either going to come through and win people championships or he's going to be the reason people leave. And I'm on the side that believes in him. I think with Cooper Cup, with Pooka Nakua, with Kyron Williams.
He's going to dominate through the playoffs. TBD, but he is, he's going to be the reason people win or lose championships. I think the, the counterpoint to that would be the guy that I have is the number one running back this week, my start of the week. Kyron Williams against Washington. Both could be true. Both could be true. This is, this is the matchup you want. This is a player that gets 90 plus percent of snaps. He's had 22, 26, and 29 opportunities. And Washington is 31st against running backs. Look, this was a layup. That's why I'm making the call. I think he's number one on the week. I think he's going to win a lot of people their playoff matchup. Yeah, and I don't think that that's mutually exclusive from Stafford. I mean, Stafford's been top 10, three weeks in a row. Kyron's been the number one, number nine, and number 18 running back those same weeks. So I would start both of them. My running back start of the week, Najee Harris at Indianapolis. Oh, boy. Look, if I can get 16 and a half opportunities per game, I know he's not flashy.
But if I can get that against Indianapolis in a game that I think could hit the over, not everyone could be a sexy start. Owl knows that, right? Teams are running on the Colts at the fifth highest grade in the NFL. You just call him ugly? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Now you understand? Yeah. No, I mean, okay. I mean, you did. Yeah, all right. You told the truth. Yeah, I mean, this is an important second. I love you, Al. I didn't say nothing. I love him as a human, just not. like his aesthetics right that's what i'm saying like he's so this is so unnecessary he's a close friend of mine i'm just saying he can't be sexy um because of how he looks but look the indianapolis offensive how he looks yeah super offensive yeah to me and anyone that looks at him but the colts are they rank 31st and schedule adjusted fantasy points allowed to the running you know you two look kind of similar did you know that what i've never been told that in my life look at me
Okay, now let's see out on the right. Totally different. Now what hat? Wait, the hat? We couldn't look. We couldn't look in further. Hold on. Take your glasses up. Yeah, we got to get. Wait, no, no, no. All those are, yeah, those are shades. There's glasses off. Well, glasses off boys. Yeah, you've never been. Yeah. Wait, Jason. How'd you get in the back so fast? No, no, no. One of you's ugly. One of you's beautiful. I'm super handsome and. And my point here is that owl looks, who's your start of the week? My point is that owl looks like the Indianapolis Colts run defense. Oh, okay. Visually, which is terrible. Uh, who's your running back started? Just from the creatures, just a man walking down the street that you hit with a brick. I mean, he's just trying to go to work and he caught a stray. Uh, I'll take the running back on the other side. I'm going to go with Zach Moss. Wow. This is a third time in a row. He's been in this, hasn't he?
And he failed the last two. This is how you get it. But my dude, man. Yeah, it's Jason loves him. Jason, you said if you could get 16 and a half opportunities, how about over 20 opportunities? Is he playing against the Colts? No, he, well, kind of. But it's just the opportunities are great. It hasn't come through. But the last two weeks for the Steelers, James Connor, running back five, Zeke Elliott, running back one. You can get it done at the running back position against the Steelers. I think that this, Zach Moss will bounce back and have a good week. D.K. McCaff against the Philadelphia Eagles is my start of the week at wide receiver. The Eagles secondary is a punching bag. They have, they're on pace to allow 267 reception to wide receivers. That would be the most in the history of the NFL. They're on pace to allow 30 receiving touchdowns. That is the most in the history of the NFL. D.K. McCaff, you know, people were hesitant to start him against Dallas, who's a good defense.
And then he's just bigger, stronger, faster. Philadelphia is going to have a just terrible time trying to stop D.K. McCaff. If I were them, I would try to get him upset. That's all I would try to do. I would take the dream on. Did you see the report from Shanahan? That they basically tried to get him upset. Yeah. They said, hey, whoever, I can't remember what the, like, not a huge reward, but just like basically a kudos. Whoever gets D.K. Metcalf fired up. We're going to be really happy about it. No, they have to go dream on green. Get him to throw a punch and get them off the field because otherwise it's going to be, I mean, he can score three times against Philadelphia. I don't care if it's Drew Locker, Gino. It'll probably be Gino, but I just think D.K. is a smash start. And I love your player, Jason. Yeah, I'm going with DeAndre Hopkins against Houston Hopkins. He went off in the second half of Monday night football against Miami this last week. And he is the apple of Will Levis's eye. He is.
The apple of the banana ramma, as they say. You saw that. You saw that coming. Look, since Will Levis took over in week eight, 28% targets per route run. That number is awesome. 2.47 yards per route run. That number is awesome. He has more targets. DeAndre Hopkins has more targets, 107, than the rest of the Tennessee wide receivers combined with 106 during that time. And over the last five weeks, the Texas defense has morphed into a clear pass funnel. They're 28th that scheduled just fantasy points to wide receivers. We just saw what Garrett Wilson did with Zach Wells tore him up last week. I do hope C.J. Stroud is there. I think that pushes DeAndre Hopkins higher. But even without C.J. Stroud, DeAndre Hopkins should be a good play this week, my start of the week. And I'm going with Odell Beckham Jr. against the Jacksonville Jaguars on Sunday night. Last week, 10 targets, 4 for 97 with a touchdown.
And there is a direct correlation that has been brought up and pointed out when Otto Beckham is not on the injury report, he's been fantastic. So as far as I know, not currently on the injury report. That is a TBD, but make sure he's healthy. And then the Jaguars 27th and scheduled adjusted points to the wide receiver. Their secondary is atrocious. So I expect Beckham and Zay Flowers to have good games. Let's go from that TBD to TMB. Tray McBride, baby. Wait, your start of the week is TVB? Yeah, baby. Welcome aboard. What? I knew it would make you happy, Mike. Tight-in one, baby. Merry Christmas. Yeah. Merry Christmas. Oh, yeah, it is. I am feeling the season now. It will be a Merry Christmas. Are you feeling it? Yes. Trey McBride against San Francisco, I want you to have confidence coming off the by with the mess. That is the Cardinals. The mess that is the game line.
Just put Tram McBride out there. He is going to be there everything. I don't think Hollywood's playing. He's their number one wide receiver. So you play the number one wide receiver for Kyla Murray and you play him this week despite the fact that matchups not great. I think it's going to be a big week. Have confidence. Put him in there. And I'm going with Sam Laporta off a bad game. He's playing against Denver, a defense that has gotten much, much better. They have improved over the second half of the season. But they still don't guard tight-ins. They are 30th in schedule-adjusted fantasy points to tight-ins, 30th and tight-in receptions allowed, 31st in tight-in receiving yards allowed. This is a Vance Joseph Truth for his entire coaching career, no matter which franchise he goes to, his defenses don't guard tight-ins. Sam Leporta is maybe having the best fantasy rookie tight-in season of all time. In PPR leagues, he's averaging 13.6 fantasy points per game. That is second only to 1961, Mike!
Decker. Very nice. I mentioned it's a very difficult week for low level tight ends. So I want to bring up Logan Thomas. It's not, I don't think it's a fantastic play, but here are the case, here's the case for streaming him. The over under, we're sitting at 49 points. That's great. Washington is averaging over 43 pass attempts this year with Sam Howell throwing all the time. And then, you know, the Rams 31st, schedule adjusted points to the position. Isaiah likely last week. Two weeks ago it was the Brown's tight ends with 13 targets and a touchdown combined. So if you're looking at who you are starting and you have just no confidence in them, Logan Thomas has a chance. All right. That is it for starts of the week. Thanks again to our sponsor, Purina Pro Plan Sport. Pro Plan Sport provides fine-tuned nutrition for strength and stamina that enables dogs and owners to take on life's adventures together. Pro-plan sport, high-performing fuel.
For active dogs, it all starts here. Jason Moore's Ironclad, locked and loaded, 100% guaranteed boom boom kicker of the week. Last week on the boom boom kicker. Me and my 101 butt did some kicking of my own. Living the boom boom journey. Putting kickers on a gurney. This job is not meant for such noble. class a simple peasant wanted to get his fill this chump was a buffalo bill so i opened a can and whooped some tyler bath that's that's my favorite one yeah that's my favorite one of all time you guys finally we wrote something intelligent we've had like 13 or 14 stinkers in a row that was i'm peeking right now that was that was that was perfect Tyler bass everybody all right
Final reminder here before we close the show down tomorrow, we've got the matchups and the fantasy face off, the wheel of shame. Yours truly will spin that. And the Foot Clan out there. Go to Footclan giveaway.com. We're giving away a free signed Travis E.N. Jersey and a swag pack. A bunch of fantasy footballers gear. All available for free for a lucky winner at Footclan giveaway.com. That'll do it for today's episode of the show. Thank you for joining us. Al, you're beautiful to me. You're beautiful on the inside. Thank you. Just on the inside. All right. Goodbye. Goodbye. Thank you for listening to another episode of the Fantasy Footballers podcast. Join our fantasy football community on join thefoot.com. And follow us on Twitter at the FF ballers.