The Megalodon is a listener endurance feast
The annual Thanksgiving marathon dares listeners to finish the entire episode before receiving a secret hashtag and a chance at signed prizes.
THE UNOFFICIALFOOTBALLERSFAN ARCHIVE↗Transcript links use the exact YouTube video’s clock. Machine transcripts can contain errors.
The annual Thanksgiving marathon dares listeners to finish the entire episode before receiving a secret hashtag and a chance at signed prizes.
Jason wears a Dinner Butter shirt exactly one year after the phrase was created and previously reached number two among Twitter trends.
Papa Josh, the Judge, and Al Borland occupy Deucer's Alley with the specific job of preventing the marathon's hard drives from filling up.
The hosts repeat their yearly Thanksgiving guessing game using winners selected collectively by the Deucers.
Mike's Jack in the Box Thanksgiving meal is established enough to become the award for rejecting outdated holiday food in favor of a random modern dish.
The serialized Boom Boom Kicker verse says an Henri Megalodon awakens, gobbles the troops, and turns them into shark poop.
Near the end of the episode the hosts coin Thiccsgiving, specified elsewhere in the same discussion with two Cs, as the listener hashtag for completing the show.
The Wheel of Shame lands on Lobster Loser, putting Mike in a full lobster face and claws that prevent him from using his computer normally.
This 2022 Megalodon is dense holiday-show canon. Jason marks Dinner Butter's first anniversary by wearing its shirt; listeners are challenged to finish the marathon and wait for a secret giveaway hashtag; Papa Josh, the Judge, and Al Borland staff Deucer's Alley to keep the hard drives alive. The Deucers judge the annual Turkey Day awards, including the Mike Wright Special built around his Jack in the Box Thanksgiving tradition. A Boom Boom Kicker verse turns the Megalodon into a troop-eating, shark-poop-making monster, the show launches the Thiccsgiving hashtag, and the Wheel of Shame ends with Mike unable to operate his computer inside a full lobster face and claws.
Because you don't have one of the top four guys. McBride should be someone you stash on the bench and wait. And we didn't see Gerald Everett last game. So it's hard to make the recommendation. You want to. The Cardinal stink. If Gerald Everett is active in this game, he should be the tight end two. I'd be so nervous to play him with this type of injury. I completely understand that. But he might only need like a play. Well, the thing is, is he won't be guarded on that play. Just leak out to the left side of the field. You guys are so mad. Well, I mean, this has been all season for the Cardinals at the tight end position. Yeah. I mean, that's the pace he could take down the field. And he's going to be looking around going, why isn't anybody trying to tackle me? He's on the groin index, though. Yeah, so if he is not active in this game, go ahead and fire up Trey McKinney.
Are you waiting for the sound? Here it is. Fire them all. Into the sun. You sound like a man who had hope at one point. Mike, that is the essence of fandom. Hope. Hope. Hope defeated. I'm chilling. I'm good, man. I don't know how you guys do that. I don't know how you distance yourself. We looked at the roster and the coach and the GM. And I can handle it. Yeah, I mean, they did five and 12 in their last 17 games. Got an extension in the middle of that. Yeah. That was both GM and coach. That's when I broke. That agent, that deserves to be like featured in a documentary or shot. One of the two. I wouldn't say that. No, no, no. That's rude. But they need a clean house. They have to. The Raiders are three and seven. They take on the six and four Seattle's Seahawks.
The Drive King Sportsbook line, Seattle line is three and a half. And this is actually... Andy's almost upset of the week. It's a strange one, I know. But I think the Raiders go up to Seattle and keep it close. Seattle is, like I said, three and a half point favorites. The overrunners 47 and a half. This Seattle offense, you got to like the matchup. I like the odds of this game hitting the over, believe it or not. For sure. The Raiders, they did get back in the win column against the lowly Broncos last week. But when you have Derek Carr and Devante Adams, you have a baseline that you can set. Josh Jacobs is set up for massive success against the, even though they're improving, still the 24th ranked running back defense. And Jacobs just get so many opportunities. Thirdmost carries, third most rushing yards, playing great football.
You know, Mike likes Foster Moreau this week as well, but Carr, Jacobs, Adams are locks. Moreau is a stream. You can stream. Did you say Carr is a lock? I didn't mean to. Yeah, I was going to say. I would not be playing this car. I'm sorry. Jacobs, Adams, and Moreau. Boston. I didn't mean to say that. Jacobs and Adams are a lock. Yeah. Car is not a lock. Yeah, and then that's it. That's it. I don't want to play with the Mack Hollins in this matchup. The Seahawks have been pretty good against wide receivers. On the Seahawks side, though, it should be just a thing of beauty. I feel like I haven't had my sweet, sweet, sweet Kenneth Walker in five years. Five weeks are too long. You're waiting for some sweet sweet, sweet Kenneth Walker. You're not going to wait very long. Oh, I know. It's going to be great. He should be pretty good.
The Raiders fantasy points allowed to running backs. The last five weeks, 26, 40, 27, 26, 25. Yeah, baby. Yeah, baby. So I did mention the thought, and the Seattle fans didn't like it of Melvin Gordon. This was a potential home for him to me. Seattle is in contention, and they did have interest in. Who was it? It wasn't Heinz. It was somebody at the trade deadline that. that got claimed and that Seattle put a claim in on them. Who am I thinking of? I do not. Nobody here remember this? I can't recall. There was a running back picked up. Was it Eno? It was. It was Eno Benjamin. Thank you. Yeah. So they did. They need some depth that running back because if Kenneth Walker did go down. I feel like if Gordon goes to Seattle though, he is just a bench piece. Yeah, he's going to be that wherever he goes. Yeah. It is a little early in the week, but.
83% chance of precipitation looks like some lightning and thunder in the area. So the running games here, because both teams susceptible to being gouged by the run and both teams have great running max, I think that that's where I want to focus. I feel like I needed like a meteorologist drop the way that you said that. I mean, precipitation? It's a long word. It's a big word for me. The Rams are 3 and 7. They take on the 8 and 2, Kansas City Chiefs. Drafking Sportsbook line here, Kansas City minus 14 and a half, over under is 44. Cadarious Tony not practicing today. That's the update from this morning. I tried to spend all the fab I had to get the Chiefs defense for this week. It was unsuccessful. But, I mean, how good is this going to be? The Rams are projected for under 15 points. The Kansas City defense does the kind of things that are going to be a problem for a backup quarterback.
Perkins. Chris Jones is going to be. I'm saying. Bryce Perkins for the Rams is the one taking the first team reps right now at the quarterback position. Need I say more about my fab attempts? Nope. No, you do not. The Rams, I mean, they've hit their implied point total two times this year. So you're talking about 14.8 points being a maybe. They don't have running backs. They don't have wide receivers. They don't have a quarterback. They don't have an offensive line. The only player that you can start here is Tyler Higby. Tyler Higby had eight targets the last two weeks, and you know they're going to have to throw the ball. Like the chiefs aren't going to not be able to score. They're the chiefs. So when they throw the ball and eventually the second half of this game, they're going to be in a prevent defense, and they're just going to dump it off to Higby probably three or four times at the end of the game and get some extra.
Points. This is a floor play. Higby probably won't get a touchdown in this game. So I think this is just someone where if you want seven, eight, nine fantasy points in a PPR setting, Higby is fine. I don't want to play Cam Acres. I don't want to play Kairn Williams. I don't want to play Alan Robinson. I do think Acres is a desperation, like you need to fill a running back spot just because they'll have 15 opportunities potentially. But I don't want to play them. No. I mean like. If Michael Carter were somewhere, somehow on your way over wire, let's see. I mean, I've seen 14 team leagues where you're out there. Oh, yeah, yeah. You're putting in some garbage. Yeah, I totally agree with that. But it's like, man, James Cook. Sure, I play him over. He might be out there. Okay. We've got Patrick Mahomes, play him. Yes. Isaiah Pacheco.
There he is. There he is. He ran down to the right side there. Just starts too fast. That's so stupid. Yeah, Isaiah Pacheco 16 for 82, 15 for 107. Play him over Foreman and Latavius? Yes. No. Latavius might be over Pacheco, but Foreman for sure. Right. That's what I was reacting. I would go Latavius, Pacheco, Foreman. I don't, it's so gross, Jason. I don't give him a different name or something. Don't call him Latavius Murray. Call him. Lats. Lats? That's not exciting. I was looking at something like lightning bolt. Like a, like, I don't want it to be exciting. This is old man Murray. And old man Murray is shouldn't, you shouldn't be excited to play him. You just can. Mr. Rinkle town. Mr. Rinkle town. He's old. Yeah, but that's not.
You just said give him an exciting name. Well, Jason was changing it. He said he didn't want it, so I was giving him a little boring. Old man Murray works for me. Old man Murray's good. Derek McKinnon, can you play him? Would you play him over Cam Acres? Yes. Probably, yeah. Hmm. My thinking with Derek McKinnon is I like having a pass catching back, but I don't know how much they're going to need to utilize the pass catching prowess in a game like this where you expect. it to be pretty one-sided. So maybe I would take the known carries from Cam Acres over McKinnon. But that's the level. I mean, you're talking about two guys I don't really want to play. What about the wide receivers here for the Chiefs? If Juju is back from concussion protocol, is he right back into your lineup? Yes. If Juju is back active on the field, he will be playing. Let's assume he is out for this because then there's the question of...
Do you try to toy with picking the right option between MVS Skymore and Justin Watson? Routes and participation favored Justin Watson? I think that's where I lean. Upside and unknown favors Skymore. I don't really want, I don't even want us play juju, I don't think. Really? Yeah, it makes me a little nervous. It's Mahomes. Yeah. He's going to throw for a bazillion yards. Yeah, do you think? Juju comes right back into the same target share, the first game after the concussion? I think so. Yeah, you know, the concussion, I don't think that's something you work someone back slowly. I guess I'd be more worried if Tony was healthy. It's definitely something where he could exit again with a concussion. We've seen that. But I don't think that's one of those where it's like, well, we're going to we're going to ease them in, give him 20, 30 percent of snaps. I would imagine he plays.
85% of the snaps if he's active. Can I make him my nonsensically nervous pick of the week? Yeah. Yeah, let's do that. Thank you. We do have an update that Andy Reid did say Ronald Jones. Ronald Jones. I remember him. He has a legitimate chance to play because I mean, Clyde Edwards, a layer injury where he is now, they IR'd him, right? Can he play as many sweet snaps as Clyde? I don't know. He can get in there four times. I'm just saying that Ronald Jones. I wasn't even going to mention it. Well, I only bring it up for when Ronald Jones inevitably ruined someone's fantasy day with his one carry for one touchdown. And you're just, you're ripping your shirt off. You don't think that guy can get into the end zone? He's kind of small. That's a sneaky sound. I mean, has anyone ever run under the center's legs? He could do it. He could do it. Like freeze tag? Yeah, Darren Sproes used to do that all the time.
Isn't that what Jalen Hertz is doing on these quarterback seats? It is. It's just like, you can't tackle me. Danny Woodhead did that too. I'd also start Travis Kelsey. Oh my gosh. I can't tell how much I love. Brave and bold. Playing Travis Kelsey. I'm on record. Alan Robinson had a touchdown last week. Cool. Don't play him. No. Or don't play Skoronic or Van Jefferson or Renan Powell. Don't play two to out well. Don't play. Don't play, don't play. This is the advice based on Perkins being the starter. Or Wolford. Or Wolford. Or Wolford, yes. Or Stafford. No, if Stafford plays against the Chiefs. Stafford's not going to play. Then I would, I completely agree. I'm only saying that because it's Wednesday. And, you know, if Stafford plays, Alan Robinson is okay. The New Orleans Saints are four and seven. They take on the San Francisco 49ers.
The draft game sports book line is San Francisco minus nine and a half. The overrunners 43. Nine and a half, huh? So I'm having tough decisions in this game. I think San Francisco is going to win the game, clearly. They have one three straight. Their weapons are unstoppable. They're incredible. My problem comes with how do I make a decision around Chris Olave after a big, big game for Chris Olave? He had a monster touchdown. San Francisco is a defense that continues to improve. I know he's a stud, and I know in most cases you think, hey, he's in there. But what happens when you're staring down the aforementioned Garrett Wilson and Chris Olavi? Is Olavi so far and above Wilson in your mind, even in this tough, tough matchup?
I think that that's an honest conversation that needs to be had because the matchup is very difficult. The 49ers have been great. There's only 16.8 implied team total points for the New Orleans Saints is really hard to bench Olave. He's looked so special. But the reality is, so is Garrett Wilson. These were special teammates, you know, in college that have come to the NFL and they're both studs. So I guess I would take the guy who has the better opportunity laid out ahead of him right now, which is Wilson to me. Really? Okay, Mike. Olave, I mean, if you want to go with the trends, has been full red light green light, and we are pulling up to the red light. Olave is a stud. Andy Dalton is not. And Andy Dalton is in a very difficult matchup here. I'm not saying that whoever the Jets put out there is a stud, but.
Cardinals White House didn't get into the end zone against San Francisco. Yeah, this is a matchup. You need like, OLAV needs to catch eight or nine passes without a touchdown. I'm still, like I'm playing OLAVe. We're just trying to figure out the line. The line of where you could possibly bench him. I don't think I could bench OLAB. Yeah, probably not. Yeah, he's, I don't think you can bench him for Garrett Wilson. He's not someone that you need to bench. He's been very, very good. He's got the targets, but I was. Devante Smith. Yeah, I would rather play Devante Smith. I'd rather play Alave. I'd play Alavi. Tyler Lockett. I think I'm willing. I think I'm willing to go lock it there. Yeah, I mean, that's going to be a weather report for me. Okay. And what about the same game? Brandon Ayuk, who's been pretty on fire. I think I'd play Olavey. Oh, man. I thought you were going to say Ayuk. I.
The two targets or the two receptions, but Ayuk has been so good, man. He's just been completely on fire. If you've played both these players, I mean, Olave has been great, right? But if you played Olave and Iyuk, no, you're right. The last month, you'd be much happier with Ayuk. So I'm going to stick with Ayuk. McCaffrey, Mitchell, Debo, Kittle, Jimmy G. Are you still playing Mitchell? I mean, he looked. Juicy. I think Mitchell is a... What was it, nine opportunities? He had nine carries to Christian McCaffrey, seven carries. It's not a great play. James Cook or Elijah Mitchell. Elijah Mitchell. Oh, that level, I would go Elijah Mitchell. Brian Robinson. Brian Robinson. Okay. Give me the volume of Robinson. Mitchell, you need... He's a nervous watch. He's almost like old school Cream Hunt where, you know, what, the first 18 carries? Or first 18 opportunities or snaps or something where Christian McCaffrey and you didn't see him on the field.
But man, he's great when he comes out on the field. Their offensive line is getting it done. By the end of the game, Mitchell will have some carries, but does he rip off a long touchdown? That's the question. Alvin Camara? Yes. You've got to play him, but it sucks, but it's not fun. George Kittle, big week last week. Big week. Tough matchup. Yeah, as you say, Saints are great against tight-in. You're not going to bench George Kittle, but if you're, I mean, I. This is user choice. This is what I have been doing. If your trade deadline is still open off of the monster week, I think you can get a lot for Kittle. I worry with the target distribution there. I mean, last week was very predictable against the Arizona Cardinals that Kittle would go off.
So in the right matchups, George Kittle should be great because he's so talented. In the bad matchups, I just don't think they need to use him. Why throw it to a guy who's easily guardable by a specific defensive style? And that's this game. So you're going to have to start him in good matchups and bad matchups. But I think the bad matchups for George Kittle, I think they're going to be like... two fantasy point like complete well i think people got scared against the chargers when he had one catch and the two targets yeah he was double digits three weeks before that and then obviously last week the big game but probably less he's just playing less integral to what they need to do he used to be the song and the dance when debo and iuk are healthy his numbers have been way way worse and then you add christian mcalfrey it's just like you know there this isn't
This isn't a massive passing pie usually. Remember when we got Mike to ride with Juan Johnson earlier in the show? Yeah, that was great. 49ers defense, fifth against tight in. Yeah, but 18th the past six weeks. It's about to go down. Okay. Now, I'll buy it. I want to see it. You'll be jumping for joy in the studio. The Packers are four and seven. They take on the 911 Philadelphia Eagles. The drafting sports book line here, Philadelphia minus 7, the overrunners 46. And no, Philly fans, I'm not doing it for a third straight week. I'm not picking the Packers to upset your beloved Eagles. I don't think it happens because the Eagles are a much, much better football team. It was a good, almost upset pick last week. They barely pulled it out against the Colts. I know. And did you see Siriani?
screaming in the crowd. I loved it. I absolutely loved it. You see this, Mike? I did not. He ran over to the crowd. He was impassioned. So Frank Reich is his mentor extraordinaire. Like his, you know, one of his favorite people on Earth. And he just is screaming at the crowd. That's what you get. Yeah. He's like, that's for Frank Reich. Why is he yelling at the crowd? As you say, to which the fans replied, we didn't do it. We just come to the games and watch. They're probably chirping. But Philly, I mean, this is a matchup that you're going to play your Philadelphia Eagles. Jalen Hertz, quarterback three on the year. Miles Sanders. I'd still play him. It's a good matchup, even though he has slowed down since the by week. He's the R.B. 25. A.J. Brown, he's slowed down, too. It's been a bad couple weeks for Brown, but he's a stunt. Yeah, ignore it. Play him. He's great. And Devontas Smith has been.
Pretty good, especially without Dallas Goddard. The targets seem to be more secure for him. Wide receiver is 37, though, over the last month for Devante Smith. Yeah, I mean, that's still... Nine and eight targets to each of the last two weeks. Just giving you the facts, man. He has been very hot and cold, but I think the volume is sick. Two weeks ago, he was actually really, really good. He had a good game. I think he had like 16 fantasy points in our league. And then there was a wacky play at the end where he lost all of his yards and fumbled and lost like six fantasy points, but was actually very good in the game. He's currently ranked number one in that play in doing that play, that negative play. Aaron Jones, he's the RB5 since week seven, start him up. J. Dillon has gone, he is the picture in Back to the Future where it starts to fade away. Him and Kareem.
Yeah, they're done. Alan Lizard and Christian Watson are. I think they're both playable. They're both scary to me. Sure. Like the matchup is not great, but they're the, the, it's Aaron Rogers and I'm, I'm with Mike on this. I think they're both playable. Yeah. You definitely are not benching. You can't bench Christian Watson. Yeah, he's right now. I've been fired with the, with the touch. You for who? I guess you would say DeVantz-Smith. I've got DeVantz Smith in my lineup over Christian Watson. You've seen Aaron Rogers suck a lot this year. You just have. You know, so he's played poorly at football this season. He's thrown five touches to Christian Watson in two weeks. Don't say it's not a risky bench when a guy is that electric. I'm not saying you have to bench him. I'm saying I am not.
I am fearful in this matchup. The Philadelphia Eagles are as good as it gets against the quarterback position. They're very good against wide receivers. And we've seen bad offense at many times for the Packers. Now, they had a good home stretch of games here, two back-to-back games in Lambo, where Aaron Rogers looked good. And Christian Watson's healthy. And that's the thing. Christian Watson hasn't been there for most of the season. So this is really going to be an important game. This is on the road against a tough opponent. But with Christian Watson. So what's the truth? Is Aaron Rogers basically just need one good alpha wide receiver to get the machine rolling? And Christian Watson's going to be good a third week in a row. And then I'm all in on the Packers. Or was that two good weeks? You know, the Tennessee Titans aren't a good, you know.
They're a great matchup for wide receivers. They were in the cold in Lambo. The answer is neither, in my opinion. The answer is a middle ground where Aaron Rogers doesn't look as bad as he's looked, the way that we're talking about Tom Brady, and they're probably not the superstar offense they were with Devante Adams. I think there's a middle ground where, you know, Rogers is going to throw a couple touchdowns a game. And Watson's as good a bet as anybody to be one of those two. Good a bet anybody is fun to say. As good a bet as anybody. It's good a better than anybody. Thank you. Yeah, it's better when you slur it. Watson, huge touchdown upside. Alan Lazzard, very disappointing production, 5 for 57, but he's still had 11 targets. And that's double-digit targets in two of the last three games for him. He's still, he's a lower-in flex, especially if, like, Alan Lazzard's superpower is the touchdown. If you have someone else who can siphon that off, it's not as strong, but he's still in flex consideration.
All right, we have a Monday night football match between the Pittsburgh Steelers at 3 and 7 and the 4, 6 and 1 Colts. The drafting sportsbook line, Indianapolis, minus 2 and a half. The overrunner is 39. Look, if they had pulled off the upset last week, which they were up 13 to 3 in the fourth quarter, the Colts. We'd be hearing a lot about the Jeff Saturday Colts this week. They'd be 5 and 5 still in contentioned. They did not pull it out. Good coaches win close games. Oh, right. Well, he did not lead the men. Okay. All right. I like Mike's personal vendetta against the man that, like, did nothing wrong. They did nothing wrong. What did you want to do? Just, I pass on the opportunity to be the head coach. Same. Out of respect for Frank Reich. Respect for the process. All right. We just got to get you into this situation when you have to turn one of these down, Mike.
And now that Jeff Saturday has paved the way, this is more, there's a chance for you. Look, what's the contract? It's going to be really good, Mike. Dan, I'm all in. Yeah, okay. Schmoney. Mike Tomlin versus Jeff Saturday. Both teams look like they're outside of the playoff picture. Both teams have had troubles this year in a lot of ways. Can he pick it? Look, he can. He can make a couple of plays on a weekly basis. But like I said, last week, the 22-yard touchdown was the longest of the year. He is consistently inconsistent. He is inaccurate at times. And it's just he has not taken the next step. Deonti Johnson has suffered because of it. George Pickens is good because he can score. Sure. Yeah, because he is the guy that gets the deep valuable targets. And.
You know, you don't have enough success. I love how you said it consistently inconsistent. That is exactly what this rookie quarterback has been. And you kind of expect it, but he's been disappointing to me. I had higher hopes for his ability and his consistency. He looks lost on some plays, inaccurate. He looks Zach Wilson levels of inaccurate on some plays. And so. I don't want the high-tar, you know, high-volume Deonté Johnson of the valueless plays. I want the, here's a chance down the field, have George Pickens go up and grab the ball, and hopefully it's over the painted part of the field. And I think you can keep playing George right now. Yeah, that's the tough start sit for me is the George Pickens versus Garrett Wilson, where the Colts defense, fourth against whiteouts.
They only give up 20, right? And if you distribute that and you think about the utilization of Friamuth, the fact Najee Harris is going to get 20 carries, you start to break all that down and you're saying, well, you know, George Pickens has to end up in the end zone in this game or you might be disappointed. Friamuth and Najee Harris are better plays to me. Get loose. 27% target shares since week seven. They're going to need him. Yep. Jason, you're smirking. I'm guessing that's related to our matchup. It is. Yeah, you're right. All right. Is that because you're looking at my roster and my decisions? No, I'm well familiar with it. I know the Pickens versus Garrett Wilson situation. Yeah, we'll find out. Honestly, I may, we got Thanksgiving Day. Like one fact this week for fantasy players is if you have started sit decisions that come down to Sunday Monday,
You're going to get three games on Thursday to figure out your kind of trajectory. Jason has, I think, three players that are playing on Thanksgiving Day against me. Yeah. If they... Come on, Justin Jefferson. If they lay some eggs, it may change which players I put into my lineup or vice versa. Like George Pickens is a... He's just a higher ceiling than Garrett Wilson is right now, I think. So because he could score a couple times. He dropped the touchdown last week in the last two minutes. Would have had an even bigger day and he was the wide receiver 9. So Jason, go ahead and, you know, paint the picture and I'll figure out what I'm going to do. All right. On the other side, Jonathan Taylor, top 12 in back-to-back weeks. Put him in. Michael Pittman. I think there's an opportunity here against the 28th ranked wide receiver defense of the Steelers at home. And then Paris Campbell's been a PPR. I'm still playing him.