THE UNOFFICIALFOOTBALLERSFAN ARCHIVE↗Transcript links use the exact YouTube video’s clock. Machine transcripts can contain errors.
The producers are explicitly in studio for an alias-heavy roll call: Jeremy is the Owl, Kyle is the Borgogan, and Brooks is Judge Giamatti and Brooksie. Brooks then confirms the dynasty roster that beat an unnamed host by roughly 600 points, with Justin Jefferson and Stefon Diggs named as the damage.
The recurring Monday reaction ritual draws more than 1,000 Twitter submissions, allegedly 98.4% negative, and converts Week 1 pain into Christian Mechafri, CD Lame, Cold Komet, Jahan Hotson, Hunter Ruttrow, Cadarius A-Baloney, Corderole Statterson, Alan Saabinson, and Error Rodgers.
A one-point DraftKings Wheel-of-Shame battle comes down to Jason versus Mike. Jason is one-and-a-half points behind with Saquon Barkley as his flex, needs the Giants' final two-point play to reach Barkley, gets exactly that result, and directs listeners to Andy's secretly shot reaction video and Friday's Wheel.
Tyler Allgeier being 'dressed' becomes a literal assurance that he was not nude, followed by speculation that a rookie might hear 'you're not dressing' and arrive without clothes. The wording returns much later when Jalen Tolbert 'put clothes on, but he didn't dress.'
The Bears' soaked opener is recast as a deliberate advantage: Chicago bought a rain machine, pumps water up from below, and practiced on flooded fields all offseason. The next dry game still springs a leak, prompting a campaign for covered stadiums and a direct assignment of Mike to dome patrol.
Asked twice what the Falcons do, Kyle answers that they are supposed to 'rise up' and calls it 'our phrase.' The desk answers that they do rise early, including up the draft board, before an eclipse arrives.
The desk cues Pity City for Mike, but the monitor shows Andy. The hosts say the panel should include all three of them, blame the producers for not updating it, and hear an unidentified producer admit that the copied asset was labeled Pity City Mike but was still wrong.
Taysom Hill's rushing success reopens the eligibility argument. A host calls him a running back pretending to be a tight end, directly introduces Hill as Mike's favorite player, and gets 'I hate it'; the follow-up contrasts four targets for a real tight end with four carries for Hill.
Week 1 League of Record ends with intersecting Monday needs: one unlabeled host needs 20 Melvin Gordon points against Al after their prior playoff nail-biter, another wants Russell Wilson and Courtland Sutton, and Mike needs a Denver defensive touchdown. They high-five Team Denver Defense and settle on a run-heavy script that could help everyone.
An unidentified host is confronted with Cole Kmet's zero-for-zero Start-of-the-Week result and asks to claim Pat Freiermuth retroactively. The desk then explicitly checks Mike's own tight-end selection and says it 'pooped in his big boy pants.'
The hosts directly put Kyle on record as a big 'No-Piercer' after Dameon Pierce's Week 1 workload goes to 32-year-old Rex Burkhead, who receives a deliberately overearnest defense.
The opening explicitly places the producers in studio: Jeremy is the Owl, Kyle the Borgogan, and Brooks both Judge Giamatti and Brooksie. Brooks has just beaten an unnamed host by roughly 600 points with a dynasty roster featuring Justin Jefferson and Stefon Diggs. Monday Punday returns as the show's Twitter-fed reaction ritual with more than 1,000 submissions and a claimed 98.4% negative rate, producing Christian Mechafri, CD Lame, Cold Komet, Jahan Hotson, Hunter Ruttrow, Cadarius A-Baloney, Corderole Statterson, Alan Saabinson, and Error Rodgers. The prior day's narrow DraftKings Wheel-of-Shame battle then becomes a play-by-play: Jason enters the final Giants play one-and-a-half points behind Mike, needs Saquon Barkley's two-point conversion, gets it, and points listeners toward Andy's secretly recorded reaction video and Friday's Wheel. The phrase 'not dressed' becomes literal rookie nudity when Tyler Allgeier is told to put clothes on, then returns for Jalen Tolbert. Chicago's flooded opener is reimagined as a Bears rain machine pumping water from below after an offseason of flooded-field practice, while Mike is drafted onto a dome-lobbying patrol. Kyle supplies the Falcons verdict: they are supposed to rise up, but after an early rise an eclipse arrives. Pity City calls for Mike but displays Andy; the hosts blame production before an unidentified producer admits copying and labeling the panel incorrectly. Mike's established Taysom Hill grudge survives a successful rushing week: direct address as Taysom's biggest fan draws an immediate 'I hate it,' and the debate becomes four tight-end targets versus four running-back carries. Start-of-the-Week accountability then lets an unidentified host retroactively claim Pat Freiermuth after admitting Cole Kmet's zero-for-zero, while Mike's own tight-end pick is said to have 'pooped in his big boy pants.' Kyle is later directly put on record as a big 'No-Piercer' after Dameon Pierce loses the Houston workload to 32-year-old Rex Burkhead. The close records Week 1 League of Record stakes without inventing unlabeled identities: one host needs 20 Melvin Gordon points against Al, another wants a Wilson-Sutton stack, and Mike needs a Denver defensive score. The competing needs briefly align in a Team Denver Defense high five and a run-the-ball plan.
No piercer. So Damien Pierce, how'd that go? Rex Burkhead is just a talented back at age 32. I really respect Lovey Smith for that. Yeah, Lovey Smith did some questionable things. One being Rex Burkhead, 72% of the snaps, 19 touches, 70 yards. Somebody tweeted, and if I remember who it was, I'd give you credit. But they said if the utilization for Damian Pierce was the same that Rex Burkhead got, 49 snaps, 72% of... of the snaps. 19 touch is 70 yards. Yeah. The pass catching work. He would be the number one pickup in fantasy at the running back position. Yeah, but nobody wants to pick up Rex Burkhead because they still feel like he should be the backup. But he's not. But he's not. And was the other questionable thing that Lovie Smith did, Andy? Was it when he. Oh, my. When he literally punted to tie the game?
I am I the only one that didn't mind that? You're the only one. You're the only person. They lose the game if they don't punt there. No, they could have picked up a first down. It's fourth and one. They won't pick it up, guys. They wouldn't pick that up. You play to win the game. Yes, but what yard line was it? Like the 50. There's the midfield. 45. I don't blame them for that. Wow. So you're saying. I think they lose the game if they go for it there. And they tied. So I'd rather tie than lose. I would rather lose while trying to win than try to tie because I'm afraid of picking up a yard of football. We don't agree. Fourth and one. Don't ever coach my team. Yeah, but fourth and one with questionable, you know, you don't have a hammer back there to go get that. You got Rex Burkhead. All right. No. Yeah, that's not true.
You don't, I don't have Rex Burke. Yeah, no, that is. It's factual. He's not a hammer. Alvin Camara, nine for 39. Are you worried? So I'm not worried because he's Alvin Camara. I know it was bad and some of the things behind the scenes look, you know, like he wasn't involved as much as you want. It's a super weird game against Falcons. Nadja Harris last year, week one, was the running back 43. James Connor was the running back 44. Zekeel Elliott was the running back 45. Week one just confirms all of our fears, but it's just one week. You know what I mean? Like we can't get crazy here. I'm not concerned. So that applies to Echler, Henry, Aaron Jones as well. Yeah, the known commodities that we go, oh, we just know these are great running backs.
I'm not very worried now. Yeah, and I disagree with you on the David Montgomery concerns. He saw 65% of the snaps out of the backfield. That's a great number. I mean, that was what Arian Foster was pulling down in Houston. Yeah, but that's not a great number for him and for what he's been seeing over his... 65% of snaps, 17 carries in a game that isn't played in a flood, and I'm completely fine with it. He didn't have a single game with that few of snaps last year, just for context. Yeah, but again, the weather was a problem, and I'm going to wait and see on Montgomery. I'm not going to freak out. I'm going to wait and see, but the, it is, this is a more, this is a time show that David Montgomery has never seen. And he has, while he's good, like I'm not trying to take away from the talent of David Montgomery, but he was like James Robinson. He was the only show in town for Chicago. And now Khalil Herbert has a role.
Yeah, I'm not as concerned as you guys. That's fair. Last year he was 75%, but he finished as the RB4 with a 71% snap count the year before. So we'll wait and see. Are you picking up, Killow Herbert, based on 35% of the snaps in Chicago? No, he's an insurance play. He's not someone that you can start. Right. Travis ETN, four targets, two for 18, four rushes, 47 yards, eight carry or six touches is not. Not what you would hope for. It seemed like he was right on the cusp on about, I don't know, six, seven plays of having a completely different game, including a touchdown drop. There was two touchdowns he should have had. One, he was wide open running into the back corner of the end zone and he was overthrown by a mile. And then the other was he was open and hit in the hands and he dropped it. He did fumble. Yes. But I would actually, he's on a list of players that I would target on the cheap.
because I think he will be integral to the offense in terms of, you know, just getting things done. And you can see the juice. Like you said, he felt like multiple times through that game he's about to break it. He's going to, he's going to break big plays. Chase Edmonds and Rahim Moser, that breakdown, you know, Chase was just 12 for 25 in the backfield. Rahim was just 5 for 16. So neither running back could do anything. Was that 2.7 and 3.1 a carry? Chase did have 63% of the snaps, four targets, and you'd imagine better things on the ground from both players in the future. Yep. Yeah, the utilization was good. The production was bad against New England, but they're in Baltimore next week, so it might not get better. And then Buffalo, and then Cincinnati. It's a bad opening month of matchups. So let's talk about the wide receivers that you may or may not be panicked or frightened or worried about utilization-wise.
you know, Robbie Anderson was in the studs. DJ Moore is here in the duds, six targets, three for 43. What was your reaction to that game? My reaction to that game was the, it's the exact same. I was like, wait, is that Sam Darnold? Yeah. It's the same Panthers as last year. DJ Moore is going to have his good games. Murder. Yeah. He'll have his good games like he did last year and he will disappear a ton like he did last year. He's going to be someone that, you know, I'm glad after the trade, I moved DJ Moore up because I thought, man, this is the best quarterback he's had. And then I remember the tip from last year of like, these mediocre quarterbacks do not fix the wide receiver problems. I moved them back down. I don't have a lot of DJ more. But I think this is just going to be exactly what you've seen the last few years. The real concern is why didn't they give the ball to Christian? I can tell you why. I know I have the answer. Oh, good. Ben McAdoo. So you're concerned going forward then?
I'm concerned for this offense. He's so good. He touches the ball. It's like, oh, man, give it to that guy. I'm not concerned about McCaffrey. No. I'm concerned about DJ Moore, Baker Mayfield, the entire offense. McCaffrey will be better because they can't be that dumb. CD Lam had 11 targets. He only caught two of them. Yeah, woof. So we're going to play that game real quick. Okay. Here's some names. Would you trade CD Lamb for Cream Hunt? No. No. James Robinson? No, no. Chase Edmonds? No, no. Okay. At the wide receiver position, these ones are a lot harder. Christian Kurt. He was really good. We didn't mention him in the studs. We probably should have with the, what do you have, 12 targets? 110 yards. Yeah, 12 target, seven catches, I think. Yeah. Christian Kirk or C.D. Lamb with that situation. I'm going to stick with CD Lamb. Yeah, I'll go CD. I'll probably give him another week. Amon Ra? I'll take St. Brown.
Jesus' face. If you could watch this. That one's easy for me. Oh, man, I don't want to overreact. I think I would do it for Kurt, too, actually. I don't blame you. I would not do it for Juju. Juju was not a focal point. He had an okay game, but he was not a focal point. Nine different receivers caught a pass in Kansas City. It's going to be very spread out. And then Jahan Dotson, I wouldn't do it for Johan. No. I think I would do it for Amman Ra. No, no, I'm going to keep C.E. For all of them? I'm going to keep him for all. I'm going to keep him right now. I would. Not going to sacrifice the lamb. I'm not going to sacrifice the lamb. Yeah. I'm still concerned, but he is the only dude. He is it. And I do think Kellen Moore is a good offensive coordinator. Wasn't yesterday. Well, no. I mean, look, if there's a good pass rush.
coming up against this offensive line that's trashed, the Cowboys aren't going to be able to do anything. They have a really hard, like two weeks, but they have one of the easiest schedules in the NFL this year. There will be brighter days ahead. The problem is the quarterback situation. I like 11 targets. Yeah, but I like 11 DAC targets a whole lot better. Man. Most of those were DAC. I know. This is, C.D. Lamb is brutal. If you have C.D. Lamb, I've got them in most of my dynasty leagues. It's, at least it's dynasty where, like, long-term value, he's still good, but this year. What's crazy is, like, Michael Gallup will come back, probably in a couple weeks. Jaylon Tolbert didn't dress. I mean, he put clothes on, but he didn't dress. And so you will have a few more weapons. It's hard not to panic in that one. That's one of the few that I think is worthy of it because.
You need a good quarterback to be able to really put up prolific weeks. Yeah, I think CEDY's going to have plenty of five for 61. That's going to happen. Can you score enough? I don't know. Mike Williams, I'm not worried, but are you worried? I mean, four targets, but he played 92% of snaps, 91% of routes run. I'm not worried at all. Mike Williams is never. been touted as a consistent player. He's not a guy that's going to go out there and have 100 receptions and an even keel. That's the Keenan Allen roll. Go trade for him. Mike Williams, absolutely. Mike Williams is still currently now with Keenan Allen. He's the best wide receiver for Justin Herbert. It was a terrible game and you'll have a couple more terrible games along the way. But no, I'm not worried about Mike. You're not starting DeAndre Carter over him? No, I'm not starting DeAndre Carter over. Uh, Thielen 3 for 36?
Devante Smith, zero for zero, Darnell Mooney one for eight in the, in the Noah's flood. Yes. Amari Cooper three for 17. That is bad, bad, bad, bad. Plank, I mean, they were. He was. They were playing from ahead. I mean. He was wide open for a deep touchdown when he got closed lighted by the defender. That's true. Who caught up for and just pass interference. Yeah, but he shouldn't have caught up because Jacobi should have put it in his. That's fair. You know, Jacoby's a problem. Yeah, this is just confirming my priors on Amari Cooper. Hey, where's the need? So I'm out on Cooper. All right. Robert Woods did nothing. And honestly, the utilization of Robert Woods in this game was, it's number five on my list of things to be worried about. He doesn't seem like, he doesn't have the athleticism to win you a week.
And then Kyle Phillips had nine targets, six catches. Trailon Burks, involved. It seems like Robert Woods, you know, what, three different tight ends involved? And Birx was involved and not on the field a ton. Like his, Berks's snaps are going to go up. It was a very promising start for Berks. Cadarius Tony. What are they doing? I really, what are they doing? I do. Really? Say it again. I mean, I dapped him up at the top of the show. So I think it is very fair here to say, what are you doing? Cadarius Tony did not play. 12% of the snaps. He ran three rounds. I thought we saw him with the ball in his hand. Yes, he had one carry. Oh, carry. And you know what? It was awesome. You're like, oh, yeah, there's Cadarius Tony. Could have just been recovering from soft tissue issue. That is the hope. The hope is that, you know, when you only run a guy three routes and hand the ball off two times to him.
You are getting him some work back on the field. I think brighter days are ahead for Cadarius Tony. It just seems like it might be a month from now, not next week. Scary. Randall Cobb, Sammy Watkins, that was my official analysis. Yeah, and that's, I mean, moving forward, that's what you can do for them. Yeah, I think that's it with the duds. Yeah. All right. Anything else you need to get off your chest? I need 20 points tonight. Follow along with me, Foot Clan. I need 20. from Melvin Gordon. I see Al Borland looking at me over there. Now, last time we played each other in the playoffs, it was a nail biter, right? It was. Monday night game, right? Yep. So Melvin needs 20 tonight. I need the super stack of Russell Wilson and Cortland Sutton to score. So I... Uh-oh. Yep. And Mike, what do you need tonight? I need the Denver DST to have a score. That seems doable. I need a... Yeah, I need a...
pick six or a fumble recovery. You can do that. It's possible, but, but, but you don't, hey, you don't want to go into Monday down 11 points and your defense is your last. No, let's have the defense have multiple scores and keep that out of Russ's hands. Okay. All right. Let's go. Team. High five that one. Team Denver defense. How does Melvin Gordon get 20? Don't care. Hey, well, when they're up, this works for all of us. Let's just run the ball, Denver. Run the ball. All right. Well, that's what we've got going on for League of Record as we try to get off the Schneide in week one. I think we did it. I think we got through it. Check out the community, join thefoot.com back with. I feel a lot better. Waivers tomorrow, Mike. More discussions, debates, and panic on the way. A lot of juicy players. Good luck tonight, Foclant. Yeah, we will see you tomorrow. Goodbye.
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