THE UNOFFICIALFOOTBALLERSFAN ARCHIVE↗Transcript links use the exact YouTube video’s clock. Machine transcripts can contain errors.
With all Deucers present and a leap-year party proposed, Brooks says they do not participate in leap years. The hosts call it his first hardcore stance and calculate that skipping every February 29 has pushed his private calendar to roughly March 8.
Mike supplies a raspy live trumpet for the announcement that a UDK order before March 1 enters the buyer for a Listener League seat, and the close repeats that the winner will be announced soon.
The hosts sell the UDK as good poop time and Kyle types that a desktop can enter the bathroom. He then says he installed a toilet at his computer office and normally works there with shorts on; the desk admits it loses much of Jason during a certain afternoon period.
The Free Agency Wishing Well is framed as selfish rather than world-saving. Jason throws many pennies instead of a quarter, so the fountain rejects them and must roll, bank, and exchange the coins; the hosts say this cheapness explains his failed dreams.
During selfish wishing season, Mike says Alexander Mattison has occupied his dynasty squad since day one and wishes for the free-agent move that would finally create a regular starting role.
Mike and Jason revisit their years-old time-capsule bet over whether Carson Wentz or Matt Ryan leaves the league first. The apparent winner changed at least twelve times in three years, and Kyle's last-pass dates trigger a granular argument about ties and the agreed rule.
A complex knee injury is medically translated as 'completely jacked.' J.K. Dobbins's recovery becomes one particularly strong or fast leg dragging a bonus leg, and the hosts decide they would happily accept one fast leg plus one strong arm.
The Coaching Carousel video puts every host in a red coach hat. Jason chooses the head job to motivate and delegate CEO-style, while Mike chooses it because any failure can be assigned to an offensive, defensive, or assistant head coach and punished by firing.
After years of wanting Kliff Kingsbury fired, Jason immediately boards the negative train when the Cardinals replace him. He imagines the new young staff as a Call of Duty clan, calls himself full of pessimistic hope, says he cannot simply hope, and cringes at Gannon's one-on-one player interactions.
The Colts discussion stops for the hosts to celebrate Jim Bob Cooter's name, shorten it to JBC, connect it to a junior bacon cheeseburger, and admit they care more about saying the name than his on-field work, much like Guns Mahoney.
Kyle certifies a statistic with complete confidence: Kellen Moore had one career game with 400-plus passing yards and three-plus touchdowns while Justin Herbert had zero, prompting the hosts to imagine the new coordinator dunking on his quarterback.
Matt Nagy's return to Kansas City is introduced as the budget magician returning to stand beside the real magician, Andy Reid.
The fully staffed Deucer's Alley discusses a future leap-year party until Brooks takes a hard stance against recognizing leap years; because he has skipped every February 29, the hosts calculate that his personal calendar is already around March 8. The show announces the last UDK preorder day for a chance at a Listener League seat, with a live Mike trumpet and a Brooksie winner-announcement assignment. The UDK becomes 'good poop time': Kyle types that a desktop can enter the bathroom, then says he installed a toilet at his office computer and normally works there with shorts on, while the hosts admit they lose much of Jason in the afternoons. The Free Agency Wishing Well is explicitly selfish; Jason's dreams fail because he throws many pennies instead of one inflation-adjusted quarter, forcing the well to roll the coins and take them to a bank. Mike wishes for an Alexander Mattison starting role after keeping him on his dynasty squad since day one. Mike and Jason revive their multi-year Carson Wentz-versus-Matt Ryan retirement time-capsule bet, which changed pole position roughly twelve times and devolves into whether the last pass counts despite a prior promise not to get granular. A severe knee injury produces the medical diagnosis 'completely jacked,' one fast leg, a desired strong arm, and a bonus leg dragged behind. Kyle celebrates Keenan Allen staying under contract so enthusiastically the hosts imagine he wrote the general manager's quote. During Coaching Carousel, the hosts appear in red hats and choose head-coaching jobs because they can delegate, blame, and fire coordinators or assistant head coaches. Jason boards the negative train immediately after the Cardinals fire the coach he disliked, calls his stance 'pessimistic hope,' places the young staff in one Call of Duty clan, and admits Jonathan Gannon's player interactions make him cringe. Other reusable name bits celebrate Jim Bob Cooter as JBC and a junior-bacon-cheeseburger angle, accidentally turn Todd Monken into Ted and T. Monk, present a Kyle-special Kellen Moore statistic that embarrasses Justin Herbert, and call Matt Nagy the budget magician standing beside real magician Andy Reid.
Andy Reid. Yeah, so Eric B. Enemy moved on to Washington to hopefully prove his merit so he can be considered for a head coaching gig. I'm fine with this because it's still Andy Reid running the show. The larger, like overall question for the Kansas City Chiefs is there, I don't know if you guys saw, there was a blurb kind of just tossed into the ether of they might be grooming Matt Nagy. to take over for Andy Reid, who would be out in a couple years or so. Reed is like 65, I think. I don't know. We can look that up. But when that move happens, now I will have some concern for what is happening with the Kansas City Chiefs. Until then, it's like Shane Steichen. Like, I trust in Shane Steichen's offense. I trust in Andy Reid's offense. And Matt Nagy has worked well with him before.
Yeah, I mean, you, I don't have any problem. You have history of Nagy as the offensive coordinator for Andy Reid succeeding. He was fifth in offensive yards, sixth in points scored, top 10 in rushing offense. And this was with Alex Smith and one game of Mahomes. So I'm not worried about any. Honestly, if they fired Matt Nagy, if they hired Matt Nagy, if they hired you, Mike, I'd be like, Andy Reid Mahomes. Yeah, Mike's going to crush it. It's kind of interesting that the Cowboys, Chiefs, Chargers, and Eagles all have new offensive coordinators, and all four of those offenses were the best in football, right? Like the Cowboys were fourth in points per game. Chiefs were number one. You know, the Chargers, they were 13, but they were fifth and pace of play, second and pass attempts, third in yards. You know, they needed a change, I guess. But in Philly, they're losing Shane Steichen, not by choice. Brian Johnson taken over. But they also were a,
a well-oiled machine. And you expect that, you know, these head coaches can support these transitions, but it doesn't always work out that way? No, it doesn't always work out. Something to be aware of. Will Bill O'Brien work out as coming back home to the Patriots? I think it's way better. Absolutely. Way, way better than what they've been dealing with. Completely agree. If it wasn't Bill Belichick that had put together the Joe Judge Matt Patricia offensive coordinator duo. it would have been a topic of comedy for the just every single moment. Like he gets all this credit because of what he's accomplished. But that was just tomfoolery. Defensive mind, Matt Patricia, running the offense because he likes him. Yeah, no, Bill O'Brien, he's had success in this role for this team. Obviously, Tom Brady is a big part of that.
But he is at least an offense of mind. I like that he went to college. Is that the end of this? Got a degree. Yeah, got a degree. Finally. Yeah. Finally, Bill. Now your parents are proud. He went to Bama and, you know, as the OC the last couple years. Lived on campus. And, you know, I want to see what he brings to the NFL. We mocked Bill O'Brien, the general manager. because he was terrible. He was terrible. But I think he's actually, he's run some good offenses. Yes, he has. I think he's a good coach. And I like this hire a lot for Mac Jones or whoever the quarterback is going for. All right. That is going to wrap up today's coaching changes episode, unless any other breaking news. Any new hires, Brooks, in the last 10 minutes, 15 minutes? No, sir. Okay.
Well, that'll do it. One final reminder, Jason. I don't know if you knew this. You like to wait to the last minute. Yeah, I'm a procrastinator. The UDK is available right now. UltimateDraftKit.com. Your last chance to get in there and get all of the pre-order bonuses, including a chance to play in the listener league with us, which we will announce very soon. So go to UltimateDraftKit.com. Equip yourself. You're going to do it anyway. Get in there. Get the, oh boy. Well, I forgot about this gym. Let it sink in, baby. I did forget a blast from the past. If that hasn't dissuaded you, ultimate draft kit.com. Goodbye, everybody. Thank you for joining us. We'll talk soon. Another episode coming on Thursday. We will see you then, everybody. Goodbye.
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